Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Finding My Purple

Purple ~ Dictionary Definition

pur·ple
 (pûr′pəl)
n.
1. Any of a group of colors with a hue between that of violet and red.
2. Cloth of a color between violet and red, formerly worn as a symbol of royalty or high office.
3. Imperial power; high rank: born to the purple.
4. Roman Catholic Church
a. The rank or office of a cardinal.
b. The rank or office of a bishop.
adj.
1. Of the color purple.
2. Royal or imperial; regal.
3. Elaborate and ornate: purple prose.
tr. & intr.v. pur·pled, pur·pling, pur·ples
To make or become purple.
 
Purple ~ Magickal Energies

Purple is the color of royalty, charm, meditation, idealism, divination, progress, justice, mysticism, devotion, clairvoyance, luck, accomplishment and religion. In magick, purple is employed for protection, power, legal matters, divination, progress, the breaking of bad luck, the access of higher realms, driving away evil, to stop gossip or lies, material wealth, spirit contact and to enhance spiritual and psychic powers.

Purple is the color of your crown chakra, connecting you to Divinity and your Higher Self.



 
I lost my purple somewhere along the way.  For the past three years I was the main driving force keeping a life-long drug addict straight.  The longer we were together, the more my own interests and activities slipped into the background.  Pretty soon, they were non-existent.  And the "me" that was ME was replaced with another persona; this one focused on doctors, and appointments, and bills, and pills. 

I became something far beyond a spouse and partner, something I'm not sure I ever should have been.  I became the gate-keeper, the nurse, the disciplinarian, and the Keeper-Of-The-Pills.  I became responsible for all those things in my husband's life that my husband should have been responsible for himself.  And along the way, I lost my purple.

When you lose your purple, you don't realize you're losing it right away.  It fades gradually, eventually disappearing all together.  It suddenly dawns on you, unexpectedly, triggered by an event, a disappointment, a confrontation, exasperation, desperation, or exhaustion.  You abruptly raise your head above the dark grim focused world you've been immersed in; you look around; and you are acutely aware of the poisonous negative energy surrounding you.  You are shockingly aware of the absence of your purple.  It was a stark, clarifying, defining moment for me.

You suddenly have to ask yourself, "How much of "Me" am I willing to sacrifice for this person?"...a season?  a life time?  "What am I willing to sacrifice for this person?"...all other personal relationships?  financial security?  peace of mind?  It's a somber moment of introspection.

You realize, in the back of your mind, that this needy unpredictable troubled individual may not survive without your discipline, your determination, your strength.  You have to reach a moment, a heartbreaking illuminating moment, when you finally say..."Me first."

You have to reach a primal raw wild place in your soul, where the idea of self-preservation resides.  Only when you arrive at this point where you care about yourself and your future more than you care about someone else's destiny, can you turn a magickal corner.

Once this happens...it's time to find your purple.



 
 

10 comments:

  1. I understand completely. Not a drug addict, but he was a TV addict and devoted constituent of never improving himself. For so many years I thought I could bring out what I thought was hidden beneath. Turns out he didn't want it to come out. He didn't want to be better, he wanted to remain stubborn, unenlightened and uninteresting. So be it!

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  2. I understand..... For 35 years I was with a man who drank....too much. I loved sober man....the drunk man, not so much. Eventually, he developed cancer and after a four year battle, succumbed. I often wonder what our life together would have been like without his "affair" with the bottle.....

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  3. I completely get it - I was married to an emotional/ financial and mental abuser for 22 years. I definitely lost my purple..and then I met my new husband - and thought I'd found my purple back, and I had.. for a bit - but 13 years later, I find it fading again - no drugs, no booze (though he does like his beer) and was up until nearly 9 weeks ago, a pretty self-absorbed smoker, leaving little energies and / or time for me... music that we shared has all but gone (he's moved onto a "guy thing" with some friends) and I'm in charge of all the $$$ incoming and/or outgoing - this is a good thing because he wouldn't be able to do it... But along the way, I "did without" to support the smokes and such... and my purple has faded...but it's not completely gone.. I think your words have solidified me seeking it out again... thanks luv... xo Just.. thanks xo <3

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  4. I'm sorry. But glad you're on your way to finding it again. It seems as women, nurturers, mothers, wives, our purple comes and goes with the seasons we go through. Bright Blessings, XO

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  5. Why is it that we Women, Goddesses of old, feel so responsible for a Man. I don't understand sometimes why we choose to give our lives up and for what? My Grandmother, (a very physically abused woman) once told me that she would rather live in HELL with him than live in Heaven without him!!???? WHAT..... I have such a hard time understanding this, yet I can't judge how anyone else chooses to live.

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  6. I lost my purple a few times, not fully finding it the first time around. It truly begins when a tragedy accrues in your life and some how, you become lost in a very dark place. You reach for for the light but the power within you is so weak that the light becomes so dim. Time goes by and your soul wakes up, it's then that the power within yourself reaches for that light, it's then that you find your color purple. I finally found my Color Purple too, I understand.

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  7. wonderful read!...and yes I noticed the fading of your purple! Glad you are getting it back!

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  8. Amazing photo )O(

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  9. I think all people from time to time loose their purple for one reason or another. But it is only the truly wise and strong people who recognize and deal with it. Without the loss of the purple sometimes, we cannot grow and improve ourselves so we can appreciate the good times when our purple glows bright! Blessings to you always! I am a big fan of you!

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  10. I so get this. Glad your purple is back! I am in the process of retrieving mine, too!

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