Friday, October 18, 2019

Your Daily Tarot Cards ~ Lots of Busy Energy!

I just pulled 4 cards @ The Tarot Parlour FB page ~ It's a busy day today... Relationships seem to prevail. Some of you may be going through a new phase; some of you are unwittingly confiding in an enemy masquerading as a friend; some of you have, or will, succumb to temptation. And on the work front, a group performance evaluation is going to prove problematic. Follow this link for more details. Look for this photo with these set of cards. You might also want to Like or Follow this tarot page to automatically receive updates.

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Have You Heard About "The Mandela Effect"?

What is it? 

The “Mandela Effect” is what happens when someone has a clear memory of something that never happened in this reality. Large groups of us – total strangers – remember the exact same events with almost identical details. However, our memories are different from what’s in history books, newspaper archives, and so on.

This isn’t a conspiracy theory, and we’re not talking about “false memories".  Some of us speculate that parallel realities exist, and – until now – we’ve been sliding between them without realizing it.

The Mandela Effect is named after the famous Nelson Mandela (who some remember as dying in prison in 2013, but who others remember dying a free man years later).  The effect is when a large group of people remember something being a certain way, but when people go back and look at it, it has changed, or is gone in this universe with no reasoning other than "it's always been like that"

Two popular theories on the Mandela effect are:

Time Travel ~ Some believe that time travelers have come back to the past and changed one little thing that ended up changing many other things kinda like the butterfly effect.  Think about it.  The future has already happened, so even if time travel is say 1000 years in the future, it has already been done, which means time travelers are going back to the past, which is our present, and changing little things.

Parallel Universe ~ Others believe that sometime in the last decade or two the world went through a black hole, or that our "original world" ended, and now we are in this Parallel Universe. It's believed something changed in the process of switching, or going through the black hole. (It's been speculated that in the years 2000 or 2012 this happened, because many thought the world was gong to end)

Some of the most popular mandela effects ~

Berenstain Bears or Berenstein Bears – Which do you recall? (Still one of the most popular topics at this website.)
Billy Graham’s funeral on TV, prior to his death on 21 Feb 2018 (per NBC News).
Challenger shuttle explosion date? 1984, 1985, or 1986? Winter or another time of year? (Per Wikipedia, it was 28 Jan 1986.) Also, alternate memories about the Columbia.
Colors – Chartreuse and more – Many people recall chartreuse as a pink or reddish color. It’s actually yellow-green.
Curious George – Tail or no tail? (He’s never had a tail.)  This is part of my article about dual memories.
Ghost Hunters TV show – Some remember the earliest show name as TAPS, not Ghost Hunters. (Yes, we know the real-life team is called TAPS, and some of their gear has always said that.)
Henry VIII portrait with a turkey leg in his hand – Many people clearly recall seeing it in history books, but there’s no record of it, now.
Jif or Jiffy Peanut Butter – Jif peanut butter was never called “Jiffy,” in this timestream. (Not confused with Skippy brand, either.)
Lindbergh baby – Never found? In this timestream, the 20-month old baby was found 12 May 1932.
Mother Teresa – A saint before 2016? Several recall her canonization in the 1990s. They also recall her name spelled “Theresa.”
Nelson Mandela’s death in prison, long before his actual death (in this timestream) on 5 December 2013. (This was the alternate memory that launched
Red/blue – Pepsi logo changes, Chevron logo changes, and other color swaps… are they markers, cues, or signs to watch for?
September 22nd or 23rd? – Some people recall events shifting from one of these dates to another.  (The reaction to this article – on- and off-site – has been disproportionate to its apparent minor importance.)
Sky – Changes in the sun, moon, stars, planets and their moons, constellation configurations and placement, and the color of the sky in general. ...EDIT: Note, Yes!  Not only have I been aware of this, but family members as well!  
Tiananmen Square – Memories of a young man being run over by a tank. (Might be Mandela Effect issue or simple media manipulation.) ...EDIT: Note, I remember him being moved out of the way by two men in uniform.  What do you remember?

Daily Tarot Cards ~ Proceed With Caution!

*Note ~ I pulled The Fool twice today for our daily cards, once upright and once reversed. After reading everything when I got it all up and posted, I realized there could be quite a connection for someone out there where The Fool is concerned. If this card applies to you, and if both versions of it posted today apply to you, you might want to give it some thought. Be cautious in your connections, be careful who and how you connect with people on the internet, or at work, or when out in public places. Just saying.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

8 Signs Your New Partner is Not Over Their Ex

The idea that your partner might not be over their ex isn't exactly one that most people would want to think about.

Though you might not want to admit that you see potential signs that your partner isn't over their ex, many of them aren't exactly subtle, Mark Stevens, author of "Evidence of Love," told INSIDER. And once you see these signs clearly, it might be difficult for you to continue to move forward pretending that you don't see them.

We rounded up some big signs that the one you love may still be hung up on their ex.

1. You can tell that their mind is somewhere else.

They may mentally be with their ex.

If your partner doesn't seem to be fully present with you when the two of you are spending time together, that's one potential sign that they might be thinking about someone else.

Though being preoccupied doesn't necessarily mean that they're not over their ex, it could. Stevens said that you can feel the distance between the two of you, even though you're physically together. He added that it's because they're "always with that ex" mentally, even though they're likely no longer always with their ex physically.

2. They're always ready to defend their partner when they come up in conversation.

If they go out of their way to do this for no reason, it may have a deeper meaning.

"If someone constantly feels the need to defend their ex, specifically at times when their ex isn't the center of conversation, it could mean that they aren't quite over them," Weena Cullins, LCMFT, a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist and relationship expert, told INSIDER.

3. They try to bring them up in conversation.

Their ex probably shouldn't be in conversations on a daily basis.

Not only does your partner want to defend their ex, but they also look for reasons to talk about them. "It's like he wants to talk about her, but he can't talk about her to you without a non-threatening reason," Stevens said. "So he tells anecdotes. And the anecdotes look like they're designed to tell you things about great restaurants or great vacations or whatever, but they're really just so he can talk about her because he wants to talk about her because we all want to talk about people that we love."

It might not always be obviously about that person — their ex — but that person is always a part of the story.

4. They won't commit to you.

They may still be hooked on the past.

If your partner seems to be dragging their feet when it comes to committing to you and your relationship, that too could be a sign that their past isn't fully in the past.

"This can be a major red flag due, in large part, to the nature of where it's coming from," Tara Vossenkemper, MA, LPC, ACS, a therapist and the founder and clinical director of The Counseling Hub, told INSIDER. "For example, if your partner has a problem with commitment, but it's unrelated to past baggage in relationships, then it's not about an ex. However, if your partner says that their lack of commitment is from being "burned" in the past, then you can guess it has to do with an ex. And, obviously, they're not over it. A person who has been able to heal from a breakup is able to reconnect with another partner. If somebody is unwilling or unable to do so, then it means that they don't want to heal, don't know how to, or that they think there's still a chance with the ex."

It's hard to sort out the exact reasoning for why your partner might be having a difficult time with commitment, and it might not actually have anything to do with their ex, but as Vossenkemper said, if they allude to the fact that they're hesitant because of how a past relationship played out, that could mean that the relationship is something they might still be trying to get over.

5. They try to establish traditions with you that they started with their ex.

Forcing old traditions onto new relationships could be a red flag.

When two people have been in a relationship for a while, they're bound to settle into routines and form new traditions. Traditions, routines, and celebrations help people connect with one another. But forcing old traditions on new relationships can be a sign that your partner isn't fully over their ex, even if you thought they were.

"If your partner keeps trying to get you to do very specific things and then saying things like, "That's what me and [ex] used to do," then you need to take pause," Vossenkemper said. "Building new memories with your partner is different than recreating memories you used to have with an ex. One is meaningful and organic. The other is sad and full of baggage."

6. They won't enforce (or create) boundaries with their ex.

They might be avoiding setting boundaries for a reason.

It's important to set boundaries with exes, but if your partner isn't quite over their ex, it might be difficult (or impossible) for them to do so.

"If someone refuses to create boundaries between them and their ex, especially at the request of a new love interest, it could definitely indicate that they aren't quite over their ex," Cullins said. "Despite breaking up, some partners who haven't moved on will not create new boundaries for fear that it will reduce any residual contact they still have with their ex."

7. Their pictures are still all over social media.

If there's still a ton of couple shots, you might want to be leary.

Your partner doesn't need to delete all evidence that they've ever dated anyone else, but if the photos that they choose to leave on social media are romantic shots, that could be a red flag. Cullins said that while group shots and things of that nature might be OK, lovey-dovey couple shots could mean that they haven't been able to move on.

8. They go out of their way to contact them.

They contact them all the time.

"If someone makes excuses to reach out or bump into their ex long after the relationship has ended it's likely that they are not over them," Cullins said. "They may be looking for closure or to reconnect, but in either case they are still drawn to their ex."

Feeling the need to be in touch with them no matter what means that something isn't fully settled there. It might not mean that they're still in love with the ex, but it still might mean that they haven't gotten over them.

If you notice that your partner seems to be exhibiting signs that they are not over their ex, the first thing you should do is check in with yourself about the relationship, Vossenkemper said. "Ask yourself whether you see something long-term with this person or if it's meaningless and fun," she added. "Ask yourself how much you want to invest in the relationship."

If you're hoping that the relationship will move forward, you need to talk to your partner about what's going on. "Don't be afraid to ask thoughtful questions about their behavior because it might help them come to terms with the reality that they haven't moved on," Cullins said. "If a person insists that they are over their ex but their actions continue to create discomfort, think critically about how emotionally safe the relationship is. If it will be difficult to live with the current boundaries (or lack thereof) it might be a good option to hold off on a serious commitment until you're certain your partner's heart is fully available."

Stevens said that he thinks people have to go through "the puddle of pain." It's not something you want to wade into, but you'll be better for it.


Your Daily Tarot Cards ~ Beginnings, Endings, Surviving Life

I just pulled 6 tarot cards for today.  Four of them flew out of the deck as I was shuffling.  They're telling quite a story.  Is this your story?

Thursday, October 10, 2019

Breaking Another Sales Barrier! ~ The Gray Witch's Grimoire

I'm very proud to let you know that The Gray Witch's Grimoire has broken another sales barrier! This slender volume of witchcraft and wise-woman energy just keeps giving and giving.  If you don't have a copy, you can purchase one at this link ~

5 Good Reasons for Transparency in a Relationship

Transparency in a romantic relationship is one of the most important, yet perhaps one of the least understood, factors in building a healthy relationship. The lack of importance placed on transparency in relationships likely arises from confusion over what exactly “transparency” means.

Some people interpret transparency to mean that neither partner has any private thoughts, private space, or life apart from their partner. Others interpret transparency as meaning that there is nothing about either individual's life that the other doesn’t have the knowledge and, in some cases, veto power over.

None of these are quite what relationship experts mean by the notion of transparency in romantic partnerships. Rather, healthy transparency in a relationship means that each partner feels fully comfortable to be honest and forthcoming with the other.  It means that issues are brought up directly, and that there is no obfuscation, lying, or hiding.

Transparency in relationships doesn’t mean giving up your private thoughts and personal spaces.  It means having those spaces and allowing your spouse to have access to them, without fearing that something nefarious is going on.

1. Transparency in relationships builds trust

Being transparent with your romantic partner helps to build trust. When you and your significant other know that you can be honest about anything and that you will always engage transparently, it makes it easier to trust one another.

In a transparent relationship, both partners know the other is acting in good faith.  They are less likely to be suspicious of each other both because there is a track record of honesty and because they know direct questions can be asked and answered.

2. Transparency in relationships fosters intimacy

Transparent relationships are ones in which each partner commits to open honest interaction. Such interactions mean that partners get to really know each other on deep levels.

Since no topic is off limits, and each partner knows the other is acting with honesty, it is possible to learn a great deal about your partner’s values, beliefs, experiences, and thoughts. Because transparency also means being heard without judgment, partners may feel more able to be vulnerable in sharing and broaching even difficult topics.

3. Transparency in relationships fosters a low-conflict relationship.

While no relationship is ever without conflict, transparent relationships tend to be low-conflict. This is because there is a deep level of trust between partners that issues will be discussed in a timely, open, and honest fashion, and that each partner is committed to acting with integrity in resolving the problem.

People in transparent relationships also tend to keep short accounts.  They discuss issues as they arise, rather than letting resentment build until all past grievances come rushing out at once.

4. Transparency in relationships makes each partner’s expectations clear

Most people who hide things in a relationship don’t do so because they want to hurt their partner. On the contrary, people hide or lie about things because they don’t want to hurt or disappoint their partner.  Oftentimes, however, these people are operating on a false understanding of what their partner actually expects from the relationship.

Transparency in a relationship allows for negotiation around expectations and discussions of how to navigate mismatched expectations.  When expectations are clear, people are much more likely to be able to meet them, or at least to be honest when they fall short, without hiding out of fear or repercussions.

5. Transparency in relationships foster a sense of security in the relationship

Transparency gives both partners a sense of security in the relationship. They know that there is nothing going on behind-the-scenes that would undermine the health of the relationship, which fosters a sense of well-being and safety.  Transparency can also help to foster a sense of personal security in each partner.

Because each individual knows they can be their full self without judgment, they will feel free to come to their partner for support, and can expect full honesty about any issue... the issues of insecurity that plague many relationships – that you are not enough for your partner; that you will be judged or not heard; that you will have to look outward for support, are reduced or even eliminated.

People who feel secure in their romantic relationship, and who feel that their relationship is secure, are much more likely to invest in continued growth.

There’s a lot to be said for making transparency in your relationship a priority.  Not only does it help to promote trust, reassurance, and peace, but it also enables you as a couple to explore new opportunities and experiences, because you now have elevated trust and intimacy which keeps on growing.

Transparency is a gift to a relationship and one that the wise will cherish.


Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Dealing With a Jealous Ex-Spouse

Jealousy is most often caused by low self-esteem, insecurity, and fear of abandonment.  The fact that jealousy is caused by personal fears explains why divorced people so often feel jealous of their ex-spouse, even though the jealousy makes no logical sense.  After all, most divorced couples have no emotional connections with each other, so why feel jealous?  In spite of being an irrational feeling, feeling jealous of an ex-spouse happens all the time, especially when he or she begins dating, gets engaged, introduces his or her new love to the children, or gets married and starts a new family.

Causes of Jealousy

Feeling jealous is associated with high levels of oxytocin, the so-called “love hormone.”  Men most often feel jealous when their ex-spouse begins having sex with another man, while women feel jealous when their ex-spouse becomes emotionally involved with another woman.  Individuals who are insecure, anxious, or fear abandonment experience more jealousy than people who are personally secure.

Jealousy and Control

Jealousy is difficult to handle between divorced people because it makes little sense.  After all, what is there to be jealous about?  The divorced spouses are no longer married, and most of them have no emotional relationship that can be threatened, so why should the fact that an ex-spouse has started dating or become engaged make any difference?  The reason an ex-spouse feels jealous is related to a need to control others to make themselves feel safe.  Jealous divorced persons are trying to manage their own fears by exerting control over an ex-spouse.  Jealousy isn’t about love, it’s about the jealous person’s own anxieties and insecurities.

Maintaining Boundaries

When an ex-spouse discovers you are dating or getting married, he or she is likely to bombard you with communications to push your buttons and make life difficult.  This behavior is unreasonable because any rights he or she had over your life went away when you divorced.  Your ex-spouse is no longer your partner, lover, or friend, and he or she has no right to interfere with your life.  If your ex-spouse is being disruptive, avoid him or her.  Establish clear boundaries after the divorce to keep your new life separate from your ex-spouse.  Get a protective order if necessary and ignore his or her attempts at controlling you.

Interfering with Relationships

If your ex-spouse tries to interfere with your new relationship by saying “I don’t like him/her”, ignore the complaint and go on about your business.  Jealousy is your ex spouse’s problem.  Don’t pay any attention to what your ex-spouse says.  He or she has no right to interfere with your life.  Don’t engage or argue with your ex-spouse about your new relationship, because that will encourage him or her to continue trying to control you.  As a single adult, you are the only one in a position to determine who you date or marry.

Dealing with Jealousy

The best strategy is to disengage, set clear boundaries, and get on with your new life.  Let your ex-spouse deal with his or her feelings of jealousy on their own.  What should you do if you are feeling jealous of your ex-spouse?  Avoid situations that are likely to arouse your feelings of jealousy, such as monitoring what your ex-spouse is doing, or talking about him or her with your children.  Avoid interacting with him or her as much as possible so you can focus on developing a new life for yourself.

Feeling jealous of an ex-spouse is difficult to control because it’s caused by irrational anxieties and fear of loss.  If you are divorced, even if it wasn’t your idea, that relationship is over, and you need to get on with your own life.  Focusing on a lost relationship is neither healthy nor productive.  If you are feeling jealous of your ex-spouse, it’s probably because you are feeling insecure, dependent, or fear being abandoned again.  Your best strategy is to see a counselor.  Once you feel better about yourself, the jealousy will disappear.


Harry Munsinger practices collaborative and estate law in San Antonio. He has over twenty years experience resolving disputes involving divorce, probate, wills, and trusts. Harry was an adjunct law professor at the University of Texas and St. Mary’s University. He has published several textbooks and over forty psychological and legal articles. Harry has been a forensic psychology expert, a licensed psychologist and a litigator.

Monday, September 30, 2019

My Ex-Wife & New Wife Don't Get Along


I am a 41-year-old man who has been married to my second wife for two months. I have been divorced for over two years from my first wife and am having problems with my new wife. She thinks I am not making her the priority in my life. She feels run over when it comes to my first wife, especially when dealing with my two children from my first marriage. I have a 12-year-old girl and 8-year-old boy. 

My first wife can be very manipulative. Knowing that has caused some strife, but nothing we both weren't aware of before we got married. 

My wife is mother of two, and our children mix well together. I guess I try to avoid conflict with the ex, which probably doesn't help with my new wife. I just want all parties to get along as best we can, but that seems not likely anytime soon. My wife has been divorced for over seven years and her son lives with his father five hours away. My ex lives five minutes away, and so we deal with my ex on a daily basis because of my kids. Any advice is welcome. 

— Husband in the Middle

Dear Husband,

After only two months, you admit you both knew the issues “before we got married.” Did you think marriage would change things? Your problem is exactly what you sheepishly admit: “I guess I try to avoid conflict with the ex, which probably doesn't help with my new wife.” Dude, when a woman marries a man, she expects that he’ll protect her. If she “feels run over” by wife number one, she’ll feel run over by a lackluster you. Here’s what to do:

1) You’re not in Switzerland, so stop your “peace at any price” fantasy.

2) Start taking an obvious stand on your new wife’s side.

3) Refuse your exwife’s manipulations.

Unless you alter the behaviors that remain from your first marriage, you’ll just be repeating the same steps in a different ballroom.

 — Dr. Gilda


Dr. Gilda Carle is the relationship expert to the stars. She is a professor emerita, has written 15 books, and her latest is “Don’t Bet on the Prince!”—Second Edition. She provides advice and coaching via Skype, email and phone.

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Free Tarot Reading...

I pulled four cards for you today and posted them at my Other Blog...

Someone is holding something over you… their power. They’re holding secrets, they’re holding onto influence, they’re holding on to something that is not theirs to keep.

Read on, click  HERE

Sex and Witchcraft

This is a rather saucy topic for this mundane blog devoted more to mundane everyday life, but here you go. This blog post was originally posted at my other blog, Magickal Connections in October 2015. This post was created with interview questions provided to me from a journalist for a magazine interview.

1. When did you start practicing witchcraft? What drew you to it?

I cast my first spell in the basement of my grandmother’s house when I was seventeen. What drew me to it?…Necessity. I was involved in an unfortunate relationship with a boy, and I wanted him to go away. So, without a lot of heavy thought, it just seemed to “pop into my mind” to get rid of him with a flaming candle and a photo. As I recall, this also involved a little incantation, some spitting, and foot-stomping (I was 17, and angry). I honestly don’t know why, or how, I thought of using magick to fix a mundane problem. This was back in the 1970.  There were no books on witchcraft in our local library, there was no internet. I figured this one out all by myself.

The biggest, and scariest, thing about this adventure…it worked.

Two to three days later, after this novice attempt at spell casting, the boy’s mother called my grandmother. She was hysterical and angry, and I honestly don’t know what would have driven her to contact my grandmother with this information, but she said that her son had been rushed to the emergency room hemorrhaging profusely from a stomach ulcer that they did not know he had. This information was bone jarring and riveting to me! In the course of this spell, I had used a pen with red blood-like ink to draw a large angry line through this boy’s mid-section.

This was an “Aha!” moment…I realized, without a shred of a doubt, that witchcraft and magick were both very real, and spell casting is both very powerful and can be very dangerous. It also frightened me to the point where it would be several years before I took up the torch and resumed this path. It had not been my intention to hurt this young man, but to make him go away. My in-experience and unbridled emotion mixed with the awesome energy of magick had been untamed, scattered, and out-of-control.

The lesson learned:

Be careful what you do.

Don’t cast spells in anger.

Think about all the possible consequences, and then think on it some more.

Stay on the light side of magick for the most part, but at the same time, don’t be afraid to protect yourself and your family if the situation warrants it.

Be very specific…you’re working with pure energy, and pure energy has no conscious thought process but will take the route of least resistance.

 Love when you can.

 Hate in moderation.

 Try something positive before you do something negative.

2. Does your witchcraft and practice factor into your sex life? If so, how? Has it changed or influenced your ideas about sex?

1) Does witchcraft and it’s practice factor into my sex life? ~ There's this little thing called Sex Magick.  Where do I start?  Magick is just the manipulation of energy.  To cast a spell is to manifest a thought or desire into the physical world and make it a reality.  You need a heck of a lot of energy to do this.  Some magickal practitioners have learned how to harness the incredible physical energy of an orgasm and use it during spell casting or a magickal ritual.  With that said, my answer to your question is a profound "Yes".

2) How can witchcraft affect your sex life? ~ Magick can be used to affect any area of our lives, and sex is no exception. I am inundated, on an almost daily basis, by people who want to fix their love lives with magick. Probably the most significant way that magick can affect someone’s sex life is to speed it up, or slow it down, whichever route is the desired one. (There are herbs and spells to do both.)

The most requested and popular magick is a spell to get someone attracted to you in the first place; only second to this is magick to keep them faithful.

The most unusual request I had was from a transgendered individual who wanted to know if there were a spell to allow them to switch back and forth between male and female sexual organs (literally).  No, there is not. No one likes to think of magick as having limits, after all it’s the “Endless Possibilities” that attract most of us to magick in the first place, but real magick does not break the laws of physics, and that’s a good thing.

3) Has witchcraft changed or influenced my ideas about sex? ~ As a Pagan, my attitude and ideas about sex were already outside the proverbial box and middle-of-the road suburbia mindset. As an example, I don’t believe that we are eternally connected to one partner for our entire lives, till death do us part. (I had an interesting discussion once with a Fundamentalist Baptist wife who foot-stamping declared to me that God had ordained her to be with her husband till the end, no matter how much he hit her.)

I believe that people come into our lives at various stages and phases for a reason.  I believe that we learn something from each individual we connect with on such an intimate personal level. I believe that there is a time and season for everything, and people change, circumstances change, and some relationships will come to a natural conclusion. Most people who live long healthy lives will have several partners during this lifetime, and I believe this is the natural way of things.

My paganism also influences my ideas about sex in that I’m very open to accepting other people’s views and practices, even if their lifestyles or activities would not be something that would be part of my own life. Basically, when it comes to the bedroom and intimate relationships, whatever is agreed upon mutually by consenting adults is no one else's business.

3. Has your witchcraft taught you anything about sex, or your personal sexuality?

Actually, witchcraft has taught me many things about sexuality ~

Embrace your sexuality and celebrate the beauty and mystery of it.

Sexuality is natural and healthy, do not load it down with the spiritual guilt that most often accompanies mainstream religions.

There are many different types of sexuality and sexual practices, each deserving of respect and tolerance in their own right.

Witchcraft is all about the movement of energy to generate and manifest physical changes in the world, sex is pure energy, this energy can be harnessed to magickally manifest change.

4. Have you ever cast a sex spell or created a love potion? If so, can you explain a little about the process?

Yes, I have. One of the love potions I created has a rather unique story behind it.

Last summer my family and I were filming a television pilot for a documentary/reality series based on my life and spiritual practices. During the course of this filming, the producer wanted some witchy B-roll, so they sat me down in the middle of my “Wytchy Room”, comfortably nestled on the carpet, surrounded by my Big Black Book, bottles and herbs, stones, incense, and candles. I was suppose to start “doing what I do”, so I decided to create a Love Potion.

Don’t talk, they told me. (So I’m assuming this is going to be some of that slow-motion pretty witchy visuals used for editing purposes.) I started with a quart jar.

With two cameramen sitting on opposite sides of me, squatting on the floor, their cameras balanced on their shoulders, and the director and producer watching from monitors in the other room, I began. I added oil to the bottle, filling it half way. To this oil I added some herbs, taking my time, sprinkling them in slowly for the cameras…cardamom for love and lust; nutmeg for fidelity; a stone of rose quartz for love and friendship; and the final icing on the cake: a beautiful whole dried rose blossom.

As the rose blossom sank in the oil and landed delicately on top of the rose quartz, bubbles began rising from the bottom of the jar, floating gracefully to the top.

Suddenly the producer’s voice cuts through the silence: “Why is it doing that?”, he asks.

I’m bent over, fascinated, my nose to the jar, watching in mystified delight. At first I said, “I don’t know, it’s never done this before.”

And then there was a sudden jolt to my system, and in one clairvoyant moment, I knew.

“It’s not me.”, I said. “It’s you guys. Love is just flowing along for someone in your crew.” And I look suddenly at each of the two cameramen seated before me. The energy was outrageously “rosey”. I knew it had to be one of them. And it was.

It was a guarded secret among this production crew that two of them were actually a couple– the tall handsome Russian cameraman, and the beautiful petite field producer. She asked if she could have this bottle of Love Potion to use at weddings and handfastings, and of course, I gave it to her, still in the dark about the total magick of it all.

It wasn’t until later that we found out the full story. This young couple went on to get engaged and were married this year. I like to think of my beautiful Love Potion perking away on the west coast, sprouting love matches, life-long commitments, and beautiful passion.

5. Is there anything related to your practice that a non-practitioner may be able to incorporate into their sex life? What lessons can they learn from witchcraft about sex and sexuality?

If a non-practitioner incorporated some of my occult practices in their sex life, that would make them practitioners. (I just thought I’d point that out.) Most non-practitioners I know would not be open to using witchcraft and spells to influence any part of their lives, much less their sex life. That being said, if couples are having trouble for example with impotence (male), or lack of sexual desire (female); as I said, there are herbs and spells for this type of thing, something that would help put a couple back into sync with each other. This is a topic that’s so common and that has such mundane roots, I would think even non-practitioners would not be hesitant to give it a gosh darn try.

What lessons have I learned from witchcraft about sex/sexuality? I’ve learned the most important lesson of all…We never stop learning.

You will find the following blog post at
Magickal Connections:

This article will contain information
on the following topics ~

Attracting Love
Increasing Sex Drive
Decreasing Sex Drive
Hints & Helpful Magickal Tips

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

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Traces of desire and love are often left behind after a relationship ends and can be easily recognized. In this article, I go over several signs that may indicate your ex wants to get back together with you.

If you can identify at least two, if not more, of these signs, it could indicate that you might have a chance with them. This is the foundation for coming up with the right plan to reconnect with your ex to repair a once-broken relationship.

This information is not a simple guide to show you how to have a successful relationship. It is also not a get-your-ex-back guide. It is simply to help you understand more about what they might be feeling and provide some guidelines that might be helpful for you as you try to proceed.

The 12 Signs That Your Ex May Still Want You Back

  1. You still have feelings for them.
  2. You and your ex stay in touch.
  3. You talk frequently.
  4. Your ex contacts you first.
  5. Your ex waits a few weeks (or months) to get their stuff back from you.
  6. They contact you more than you contact them.
  7. They frequently show up where you are.
  8. Your ex calls you for random reasons.
  9. They seem comfortable with you when talking or ask about your social life.
  10. Your ex can't look you in the eye.
  11. They ask you if you're okay or if you're dating anyone.
  12. They act differently around you.
  13. You continue physical intimacy with them on a regular basis.

If You Want Your Ex Back

Here are some quick tips if you want your ex back. These are all easier said than done—but their purpose is to make sure you don't give over all of the power and decision making in the relationship to them.
  1. Do not be the first one to contact them. Let them reach out to you. (Especially if they broke up with you.)
  2. Do not offer to give them their stuff back. Let them ask for it.
  3. Do not sleep with or be physically intimate with them because this can get tricky later on.
  4. Do not initiate contact with them more often than they initiate contact with you.

Sign #1: You Both Still Have Feelings for Each Other

The longer you were in the relationship, the more of an emotional impact it will have on you when it ends. When you commit to a long-term union, you share memories and experiences that will forever be a part of you both.

In the time immediately following a breakup, it is natural for you to put all of your focus on the negative things in the relationship. However, it is very important to realize that the emotions and feelings you had for your ex will not go away immediately. Your heart is not a light switch. The emotional bond will still be present.

Sign #2: You and Your Ex Stay in Touch

Do you keep in contact with your ex? If so, how much, and how do you make contact? The way your ex contacts you after the breakup can tell you if they're still craving a relationship with you. The more direct their communication, the better.

Often times, an ex will use texting or email to contact you. This may seem like they are just being nice and trying to keep a friendship going, but it can also mean they're keeping an eye on your life and what you’re up to. This form of communication is the easiest way they can keep you in their life without having to make any quick decisions about the fate of the relationship.

If you are getting phone calls from your ex, they have chosen the most direct form of communication—this is a great sign. This is very up front and keeps you in real and direct contact, making it feel as if the relationship really isn’t over for good. Of course, meeting in person is always best, but if they want you back it will come to that point.

And finally, making physical contact is always the best outcome. This means that they are not ready to let you go. They may want to stay broken up, but they are also doubting the decision in the first place. This is where the face-to-face meeting is the most helpful. Seeing you may just help them make up their mind.

Sign #3: You Talk Frequently

How often your ex contacts you is a sign of how much they actually want to be with you again. Someone who still wants you in their lives will make a way to keep in contact. If they keep in touch after the breakup, it is a strong sign that they are unsure they made the right decision in leaving you. Another thing to look at is who makes contact more often? Is it you or your ex? If they get in touch with you out of the blue, you may be back together soon!

Sign #4: Your Ex Contacts You First

As long as your ex is second guessing their choice to leave you, they will try to keep in touch. Knowing this, the sooner they make contact, the more you know they miss you and are not sure of their decision.

If your ex is the one to contact you first, you have a great sign! This can mean that they feel that they rushed the decision and are now in great doubt. Often times, an ex will make contact for a non-specific reason, such as just wanting to say hello or find out how you’re doing. These may sound like lame excuses, but just think of what they mean! What they are really trying to do is find any possible reason to contact you.

If you are the first one to make contact, you may find yourself the weak party. If you were the one who was dumped, this is especially true. You don’t want to come off as desperate or needy, so try your best to wait for them to contact you first. If you get that communication a few weeks after your breakup, this is a great sign. They need the time to see if they have a change of heart.

Sign #5: Your Ex Waits a Few Weeks (or months) to Get Their Stuff Back From You

One of the biggest reasons that exes see one another again is that they have to get things back from each other. This is your best shot at seeing how they feel about you after the breakup. You can’t avoid meeting because you need your things back, so look at it in a positive light because it is an innocent manner of running into you!

If they are still feeling emotional towards you, they will be in no hurry to break off contact. The best case scenario is that they come for their things, and in a few days they call to say they forgot an item. It is likely they “forgot” on purpose so they had an excuse to come back over.

If they want their stuff back right away, this can mean that they are still feeling hurt, bitter, angry, etc. They likely are feeling hotheaded and thinking with the pain in their heart. This is especially true if things ended very badly. So, if they wait to get their stuff for a few weeks, it is a much better sign. No matter which way this step goes, it's possible that they are still not sure what they want, and that is always a sign of hope.

Sign #6: Your Ex Contacts You More Than You Contact Them

Even though the levels of communication will be varied, it is always a good sign if your ex is the one making the most contact. There are many ways that they can do so; texting, calling, emailing, social networking, or simply showing up. If your ex is starting up more and more communication with you, then take this as a strong sign that they are clearly thinking of you and missing you!

When you are the one doing the contacting, make sure you have a solid excuse to do so. It will be difficult, but you have to do things that will make them miss you and make them wonder why you’re not contacting them all the time. This will make them contact you even more!

Now, if you are the one who does most of the contacting, it is not the best way to go about things. It may seem like you are chasing after them and that lowers your chances of getting them back. If you are sending messages, the replies you get may only be sent so as not to be rude and you don’t want to have your ex in your life out of pity. If you just have to make contact, do so once and then see where your ex takes it from there.

Sign #7: Your Ex Frequently Shows Up Where You Are

If your ex is popping up in the same places that you just happen to be, this is a sure sign that they are feeling jealous and want to keep an eye on you. These chance encounters are a great sign they want you back! The bottom line is, if they keep showing up where you are, it is either a sign of jealousy or regret. Either way, it is good for you.

Many people who were once in a relationship have the same friends. This means you will likely see each other in group gatherings. They may not be checking up on you in these instances, but watch out for their body language. You will be able to tell how they are feeling by their body language, expressions, etc. Pay close attention to these things without being too obvious that you are paying attention.

When seeing you after the breakup, they may not know how to act with you. This may make them keep some distance. This doesn’t mean that they are not interested in you anymore but it does mean that they now have the chance to start missing you.

Sign #8: Your Ex Calls You for Random Reasons

Your ex typically won’t call you for no reason or out of the blue. Usually, they will first find a good excuse to make contact with you. Pay attention to these “reasons” and you will be able to figure out what they are really thinking by contacting you.

Four Reasons They Might Call

  1. They want their things back: If they made just one call for their things to be returned, this may not be the best sign. They may want a clean break from you and don’t feel comfortable with you anymore. The main reason they may feel uncomfortable or uneasy around you is that they are worried that things are still too fresh and they may buckle on their decision and go back into the relationship without thought. Try to figure them out after the breakup so you know how to approach them in the best way without making them uneasy.
  2. No real reason: On the other side of things, your ex may keep calling without any real reason for doing so, like asking about your mom, or something like that. They are not really calling to check on your mom! They are calling to talk to you and felt that they needed to come up with some kind of excuse, no matter how lame it may be. They want a reason to connect with you but don’t quite know how to go about it! Again, this is a very good sign.
  3. They "found" someone else: Now this part may sound weird, but honestly, some exes will call to let you know they found someone else. Chances are that they haven’t and are just trying to see how you will react to make you jealous. If they know you’re jealous, they know you’re still into them and that is what they wanted to know in the first place; asking directly would be too easy! If this happens, try not to get angry, remembering that it probably isn’t the truth. They are already questioning the breakup!
  4. They want your advice or opinions: Finally, one of the best signs is your ex calling you for your advice or opinions on things. This shows that they still care what you think and that they want a reason to contact you. If they are calling with a trivial question, they are not just calling for your answer. They are calling for your voice. They miss you and are thinking about turning back to you.

Sign #9: They Talk About Themselves or Ask About Your Social Life

The way your ex talks to you and what they talk about will tell you a lot about how they are feeling. They will have a certain aura about them and their attitude will speak volumes. Hiding strong emotions in the presence of someone you have cared for is virtually impossible to do.

There are several different ways that your ex might react to you when you talk. They might:
  • Be dismissive: This is not a great sign
  • Talk about themselves: This might mean that they're comfortable around you
  • Talk about their life: This could be a bad sign. They might be moving on!
  • Ask about your social life: They probably want to know if you've found someone


Often times, your ex will not feel comfortable talking with you, even if it is a simple chat. The reason for this may be that they want to keep distance between you two, sending a message that says getting back together is not an option. This is usually true if they were the one who was dumped by you. There is no sign that is stronger of your ex not wanting to get back together then if they are totally dismissive while talking to you. But, the dismissiveness may be because they are nervous around you now. You know them best so it is you who will know which is which.

Talking About Themselves

If your ex is constantly talking about himself or herself, it may come off to you as self-centered. But think about it like this; if they are talking about themselves, this can mean that they are perfectly comfortable around you—comfortable enough to share personal things. This is a good sign. Keep in mind though, that there are several reasons why keeping your ex as a friend is not a good idea. Watch out for falling into the trap of going from lover to friend. This is a bad zone if you want them back!

Talking About Their Social Life

Pay close attention to the talks you two have. If you are hearing them say things about their social life a lot, watch out! They may be preparing to move on or already have—putting you in the friend zone. Or, they are making sure you understand that just because you’re talking doesn’t mean you’re back together or will be back together.

Asking About Your Social Life

If your ex asks about your social life, it is likely they are trying to see if you are seeing a new person even if they are not prepared to take you back right off the bat. It is, however, a sign that they don’t like the idea that you may be seeing someone else.

Sign #10: Your Ex Can't Look You in the Eye

There is much you can tell just by the way your ex behaves around you. If you pay close enough attention to what they say and their mannerisms, you can tell how much they still feel for you. If they are acting in a friendly way, they are likely trying to appease the situation between the two of you.

No matter how the breakup went down, acting friendly shows that their aim is to create comfort around you again. If they cannot look you right in the eyes, it may be that they are afraid to because it makes them feel conflicted about how they still feel about you. Again, this is a good sign.

Try to look at it like this: if they didn’t care about you anymore, eye contact would be simple. Avoidance means that either they regret letting you go or that they don’t quite know what to say to you. Either way, it is a good sign.

Sign #11: They Act Differently Around You

A change in behavior is another sign that your ex may want to rekindle your relationship again. Some changes will be noticeable right away, while others will take some time to surface. Stay vigilant so you can spot these changes when they happen. Honestly, there is no good reason that you two can’t be friendly around each other, but remember, showing friendliness doesn’t always mean something. However, if the behavior change around you is a radical one, it is definitely a good sign.

When you do see your ex again, they may either be pleased to see you or they may seem like they are in a bad mood. Either can be a good sign. If they are happy to see you then they probably miss you. If they act all moody, they may be upset because they feel conflicted about the breakup. Either way, try to stay positive.

Sign #12: They Ask You If You're Okay or If You're Dating Anyone

If your ex isn’t putting any effort into moving on from you, the breakup is something that they are questioning. What questions should you be on the lookout for?

Are You Okay?

The first is the “are you okay” question. If they are checking to see if you’re ok after the breakup, they still care. They also want to know how you are dealing with the situation and if you have plans of moving on without them. If they know you’re ok, it may bring on two feelings. For one, they may be relieved if they know you’re ok and/or moving on. Or, it could be that they are worried that you will move on.

Are You Dating Anyone?

If they ask about your dating plans, it is because they fear that you are ready to see others. What this basically means is that they are seriously doubting the breakup. This is the point where you can easily convince them it may have been a bad choice.

But, don’t give away too much in the beginning. If you seem mysterious, that’s a good thing; it will keep you on their mind more. They may want to have the single life but they also want to have you. This is the point where they will choose one or the other.

Bonus Sign #13: You Continue Physical Intimacy With Them on a Regular Basis

Being intimate after a breakup can be a tricky business. It can actually put a dent in the plans you have for winning them back. Even though it may seem innocent, or even the most natural thing in the world, it can be the worst mistake you can make.

Think of it this way; you already have them in contact with you and it is possible you two are even friends. And then, you fall into bed with each other—what could possibly be better? Now the question is, what incentive do they have to get back into the relationship? They are getting sex and all without the drama of a relationship! Why would they take on all that pressure again when they can have their cake and eat it too?

After all this has been said, keep in mind if you slept with them once then you will do it again. But, if you want to look at it on the bright side, maybe it keeps happening because the two of you are so strongly pulled to each other and cannot stay away. This can lead to a full reconciliation. Also, simple flirting or even full blown make-out sessions with your ex can be a good sign. The more interest that is being shown, the better your chances are. Take care not to misinterpret what is happening though. It could just be a one-time thing, and then your heart will be broken even more.

My Interview with DJ Martin ~ revisited

It was my pleasure to be interviewed by DJ Martin,
herself an author and herbal witchy woman.

When did you start writing and what prompted you to do so?

I was always writing. I started journaling when I was 12-years-old and continued for years, way into my 30s. I regret that at various stages of life, I decided to discard some of those early diaries, thinking them filled with nonsensical adolescent drivel. I’m thankful for the ones I saved, detailing much of our family life and my children’s births.

When I was 18, I got a wild hair and typed out a short magazine article that I sent off to a major woman’s magazine, to their office in New York. I was lucky, the rejection was handled by an incredibly kind and sensitive editor who wanted to encourage creativity and writing in a hopeful, but very naive, adolescent. I don’t know who this person was, but they are probably the main reason I didn’t stop writing, and I continued to believe that one day I would be a published author.

Do you have a favorite book on witchcraft – perhaps one that influenced you?

I do– Green Witchcraft by Ann Moura. It was delicious. It was filled with the magick of the herbal world, encased in green leaves, and small cauldrons, and candles, and infinite possibilities. It was such a gentle book, a gentle magick, and I was enchanted with the spiritual connections. Coming out of a Catholic Parochial school background, the Virgin Mary took on a new dimension for me, as Ms. Moura led the way into magickal rituals using familiar spiritual icons. I recommend this book as a first book to any newcomer dipping their toe gingerly into the world of witchcraft. It is the most beautiful introduction.

How long have you been practicing & how did you come to your path?

Technically, I started practicing when I was 17 and cast a notorious spell in the basement of my grandmother’s house. The journey to my present-day spiritual path would be life-long, filled with explorations covering everything from Catholicism, to Judaism, Spiritism, to Atheism, as well as other explorations through books by far-thinking people on an introspective subject. But I would always return, full circle each time, to the realm of witchcraft. This seemed the most “normal” practice, the most fitting form of spirituality. And when I finally reconciled myself to this path, the learning process was an incredible journey, one I believe is so large and so infinite, it will take the course of several life-times.

After years of reading other people’s books (on witchcraft), years of thinking that I had to follow “their rules”, because this is how I was conditioned through my traditional childhood path, I was brought to the sudden realization that my spiritual path was an incredibly personal path, and only I could forge this path, building it brick by brick, to conform to my own beliefs, my own way of practicing, building it to fit my own unique spiritual connections.

I call my path, “Gray Magerium”…it’s a unique combination of Wicca (mostly Dianic Wicca); Hoodoo; and Green Witchcraft. This path is explored somewhat in my book, The Gray Witch’s Grimoire, and it will be expanded and embraced even more in my next book, The Spiritual Feminist. It’s been an evolution.

What was the hardest lesson you had to learn – one that you credit your path for teaching you?

I actually think there are several hard lessons learned. The most significant to me is that some people are drawn to me, with unabashed curiosity and off-the-wall enthusiasm, just because I practice witchcraft. They seem to have very unrealistic ideas of what I really am, or what my life is like, and they have some fantasy of it all playing in their heads. To the few I’ve actually met and gotten to know personally, in the real world, their enthusiasm (and their friendship) was short-lived when they realized that I was just as ordinary as they were. The novelty wore off, you might say. I think they liked friends’ and relatives’ reactions when they would introduce their new friend as a “Witch”.

What this has taught me is invaluable: my spiritual path is not “a phase”; my spiritual path helps me direct my life and maintain some semblance of control; my connection with Spirit is priceless in my journey to find and understand myself. There is something larger than us out there, a greater power, a spiritual entity, whatever name you want to give it. Destiny is a very real thing, and when you listen and watch carefully, you’ll realize that many of the decisions you make are drawn from that small voice in your head. Our decisions are being directed by a greater force than ourselves. There is a reason for everything, nothing happens by chance.

How does being a witch help you in everyday life?

Life is very scary sometimes, full of responsibilities, pitfalls, ups and downs, joy and sadness, success and a few failures. But I know, without a doubt, that I don’t walk this path alone. The Goddess is beside me– not in front of me, nor behind me, nor is she carrying me. We walk shoulder to shoulder. I’m not alone.

In the preface to your book, The Gray Witch’s Grimoire (which I loved, by the way), you ask & answer the question, “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” For those who haven’t read that book, would you kindly answer it again?

I am basically a Good Witch with a few Bad Witch tendencies. But what defines a “Bad Witch”?

To the general populous, she practices Black Magick in negative ways to control people and do other evil and perverted things. This isn’t my definition of the Bad Witch. I view the Bad Witch as a strong woman, a feminist perhaps, a woman who isn’t afraid to stand up for herself, isn’t afraid to take control, isn’t afraid to protect herself or her family when necessary. The Bad Witch will grit her teeth and stand her ground to fight for The Principle of the Thing. Principles and ethics are very important to the Bad Witch. Nothing in life is all black, or all white, there is a shady gray area that must be traversed. You may also be very surprised at what you find within this “gray area”…some people call it Common Sense.

What is one question you wish someone would ask you?

Will you be my friend?…but it would come with conditions: it would have to be sincere; it would have to transcend the mundane world of our work; it would have to come from the heart– sister to sister, or kindred spirit to kindred spirit. It would have to come without preconceived notions, or unrealistic expectations, or judgment.

What is one thing you’d like to accomplish before you die?

As a writer, I’d like to achieve the ultimate peak of accomplishment– I’d like to make the New York Times Best Seller List.

What is one piece of advice you’d give someone new to the witchcraft path?

Take your time. Don’t expect to absorb all there is to learn at once. Don’t be overwhelmed by all the information, the broadness of the topic.

But most important: Be still…and listen to the whisper in your ear, it will guide you to your path.

And finally, coffee or tea?

Coffee!! Actually, as I’m typing the answer to this last question, it’s Sunday morning, and I’m having special Sunday morning coffee: French Vanilla Almond.

Amythyst Raine is an author and spiritual feminist; a wife and mother; a witch and tarotist. Learn more about her at You can also contact her via email