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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Ramblings on a frickin' Rainy Afternoon

...I have to laugh; I wrote this in my diary when I was in my mid-forties:, about ten years ago:

"My mother always made it very clear to me that, whatever you look like now, you're going to look worse later.  Don't get too attached to your beauty because it's not yours to keep.  Don't go around thinking that it's some big bonus and that you can count on it."  (quote by Uma Thurman)

That old time religion...(written 6 years ago):

I feel awash in "witchiness".  In bottles of herbs, and oils, and potions, and stones, and candles, and  brooms, and cats, and incense, and tarot cards, and athames...I feel like I could straddle a broom and take off in flight.

Physical desire..."The person who discovers what the 'trigger' for this is, what drives two people out of millions together, will be a very wealthy person indeed."

(Talk about 'magic'-- I do believe this is one of the most magical things of all.  When you're with the right person, it feels all consuming and uncontrollable...thinking of my sweet Joe, of course.  I don't believe I was truly alive until he first touched me.)

Thoughts for today (this frickin' rainy day):

I am amazed at...

...the dignity of this man, my man, cloaked for so long in a different life, resurrected through his own personal strength and will.  He is an inspiration on so many levels, though I doubt that he realizes it.

...the coldness of winter, the relief of spring.

...how many sweet things I can eat in a day.

...how stupid people can be, how judgmental, how transparent.  They come and they go; they are by your side one moment and talking about you in some dark corner the next.  They profess undying friendship one day and cut you off cold the next.  They turn tables so fast it makes your head spin, and it is also funny-- I see the humor in it even if no one else does, so do my kids:  "But they didn't even like M.!", the girls say incredulously.

...the newborn kittens-- newborn anything, really.  It has its own scent, its own feel, its own sound.

...the power of true love to revitalize and rejuvenate.

...how much you can miss one person, even though you'll be reunited in a matter of hours.

...how truly conservative I am, in spite of my spiritual path and beliefs, in spite of my adamant feminism-- I find myself content to wash his clothes, serve him coffee in bed, see to his needs, hang on his every word, arrange my daily schedule around him, wait for him to come home at night, and relish the moment when he takes me in his arms and calls me 'his baby'. (*sigh*...damn Cinderella and Snow White...*smiling sweetly*)

...how much of a procrastinator I am-- and with this last thought I'm going to stop, get off my ass, and do what I should be doing around here, like...um, cleaning out the downstairs cubby, baking banana bread, and doing someone's tarot reading.

Warmest Regards to whomever is reading this--
I dare you to leave me a note so I know who you are *wicked grin*