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Saturday, February 27, 2021

Stop Trying to Fit in ~ And Start Embracing Your True Self

 

Don’t change so people will like you;
be yourself and the right people will love you.




  • I’ve spent my life trying to fit in. I’ve always wanted to please people, to make my parents proud, and to receive approval from anyone and everyone—my family, friends, partners, bosses, and teachers.

So without even realizing it I would change myself, my desires, and sometimes even my opinions to fit into whatever mold was required at the time...

  • This leads to a life of sacrificing ourselves to please others, living their dreams at the expense of our own.

I found the more I listened to, abided by, and fuelled these stereotypes, the more I was defined by them...

  • To find true happiness we must be true to ourselves, live our own dreams, and be proud of what makes us unique instead of feeling the pressure to follow the crowd.

It’s easier said than done, I know...

  • When we are comfortable in our own skin, we are not fighting against or with anyone, as we’ve discovered our own true nature and are living in accordance with it. We are courageous enough to live our own truth.

Simply be, as you are...

  • The ancient meaning of the word courage is “tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.”

It is all about being true to yourself...



To read this article in its entirety,
click  HERE





SOURCE

tinybuddah.com



ABOUT


Jess Stuart

After a successful career in the corporate HR world Jess decided to follow her passion in Health and Wellness as a coach, speaker, and author. A qualified yoga instructor who has trained in Buddhist meditation and mindfulness, living and working in many countries Jess draws her life experience into her work to share the principles of health and happiness.



Friday, February 26, 2021

Your Destiny, who's controlling it

 
Here's a new animated tarot reading from The Tarot Parlour....

It's time to kiss apathy good-by and take up the reins of your life.




Thursday, February 25, 2021

Restricted Airspace Radio ~ meet me here


Tomorrow -- Friday, Feb 26th -- I'll be a guest on Restricted Airspace Radio with Tina Marie Caouette. (7pm Pacific, 10pm Eastern)

Here's their website with more info... click  HERE




Monday, February 22, 2021

Anxiety anyone?

 



There are five positions for this spread, and I drew four separate sets of cards (timestamps below) to cover different situations and scenarios. The five questions that you'll find included for each set of cards is the following: 

1. Card to represent how I'm feeling today 

2. What my anxiousness is stemming from 

3. How I can begin to release this anxious feeling 

4. Something that will help ease my mind 

5. How I can feel grounded in the present moment 


The four sets of cards and their scenarios will be found at the following time stamps: 

  • 1:51​ Caught in a turmoil 
  • 4:51​ Choices and indecision 
  • 7:32​ Disruption of domesticity 
  • 10:53​ Overwhelmed by work


Sunday, February 21, 2021

Personal Experiences ~ Rubbing Elbows with Hollywood

 

This will be a new series of blogs to add to the repertoire.  As I think of anything interesting, I will continue the "Personal Experiences" saga.  This first post under this tag is probably the most interesting (and unusual) of all. There is two parts here, taken from notes and an old blog post.  There is the Business experience and the Human experience.

To this day, there are individuals that we met during the summer of 2014 and still hold fondly as friends.  This was the bonus.



We Filmed the Pilot for a
Docu-Series/Reality TV Show

  • First, Business Experience

Cross every "i", dot every "t"... and then there are still no guarantees. 

Me & my family shot a reality TV pilot the summer of 2014 with a major Hollywood production company for a national TV network.  It began with a proposition, and the signing of a "Holding Agreement" in November 2013, so that we were tied to this company and could not accept any other offers from other companies should they arise.

The contract negotiations took the whole month of March 2014 and wound up leaving me with an attorney's fee of $3000.00. Everyone was so positive: "You'll be making so much money off this project that this cost will be absorbed".

They were scheduled to shoot the entire month of June 2014: "The first 7-10 days, the film crew will be dropped on you and you just lead your regular life. This will get you use to the cameras."

The reality, when all was said and done, amounted to 3 hectic days of shooting at the end of July 2014 (12 hour days) with a skeleton crew. The producers also had no game plan when they arrived.  They spent one afternoon on my back porch putting together story ideas. There was no compensation or help with wardrobe, set dressings, etc. We had to pull together whatever we had to use.

Once the filming was complete, there followed an eight week wait while the pilot was edited, before an air date would be made public. 

On October 1st 2014, just four days before the show was to air, I get a call from the producer telling me the network dropped the pilot. He said, "I'll see about getting you released from your contract." Three days later I receive an email from him, "I've been told that the network is not ready to release any of you from your contracts-- it might be several weeks or so."

Follow-up: Of course, we were released from the contracts.  We were set to air on a Sunday night following a very popular TV show that contained a connection with our content.  We still feel that the sudden unexpected demise of this program left our pilot obsolete.


  • Second, Human Experience

Note: the following excerpt is from a blog post, which was posted May 22, 2015.


Oh my god, I’ve been hanging onto a Super Duper Secret for so long. It hasn’t been easy, and admittedly there are a very small handful of people (family and close friends) who may have been privy to bits and pieces. I was, however, quite proud of our ability to sit on our tongues for the most part, to not give out any details– even to them, to be able to draw ourselves up short. It wasn’t easy, believe me. It was enormous, this Secret, you’ve no idea!

The Super Duper Secret has sort of Come-&-Gone. It’s like one of those unfortunate 4th of July sparklers that looks incredible for about five seconds and then fizzles out to a nothing blackness as you hold it and watch in utter shocked dismay. That’s the way of this Super Duper Secret. The fizzling out isn’t something that we thought of, not something that we imagined. It was too promising. It was so highly praised by those professionals involved, those who got a chance to work on it, or view it during the creation process. It had “Success” written all over it.  It sparkled and glowed with prideful star-shine.  It bounced around like a beautifully wrapped sun-beaming present just waiting to be opened.

And then suddenly, unexpectedly, in one fell swoop, in one executive meeting, in one unexplainable moment, it was shot out of the sky. And there it was, laying before us on the ground, like the bloody carcass of a turtle-dove, perfectly still at our feet, bleeding out. All life, all promise, all hope…dead. All future plans, dreams, and visions washed away along with the lifeblood of this Super Secret Project.

What was this Super Secret Project? (You ask)…Even now, after everything that has transpired, sometimes it seems like some sort of bizarre dream that never really happened. But in fact, it wasn’t a dream, it was very real. It was amazing! It was fun; it was unique; it opened avenues before us that we never expected to travel and brought into focus possibilities that had once been out of reach. 

It also brought a group of amazing, super talented, creative, big-hearted, beautiful, lovable people into our life. It created a magickal summer, a summer with memories that will be carried with me and my family forever. It will fondly be remembered as the summer The Crew was here.

What was this Super Secret Project? (You ask)…Even now, I can’t be specific. I still reside in a gray area beneath a Cloak of Confidentiality. I still must watch my tongue, ironically enough, even though the dream has died. I still must be discreet, yet I can also be generalized and broad and humdrum. I will not be naming names of companies or people involved in this project. I will be careful to protect the integrity of our working business relationship, as well as our personal friendships. I was hoping to reveal this Super Secret Project in a glaring haze of wild anticipation, but that was not meant to be– This Time.

What was this Super Secret Project (You ask)…I still can hardly believe it as I type it, so I don’t blame you if you don’t (believe it, that is).  Last summer my family and I shot a pilot for a television show with The Crew of a highly respected and acclaimed Production Company for a National Television Network. It sounds so grand, I know, and ridiculous, and unreal, and Bigger-Than-Life. And it was (all of those things). It was going so well. It was going to be aired as a single episode, with everyone being very hopeful that it would “go-to-series”. And if this had been the case, it would have been Life-Changing for me and my family.

However, this isn’t how it turned out.

The Network dropped the show, dropped it unexpectedly, dropped it just days before it was to air. I’ve been told that this happens all the time; pilots are dropped inexplicably. But I think it’s different when it happens to you, when it’s your show, your chance at fame and fortune. There’s too much at stake, too much invested (thousands of dollars to the attorney who worked on my contract), emotions, energy, just too much of everything to shrug it off casually, without a flicker of sadness and regret.

But it is what it is, and we can’t change that.

In spite of all the drama and disappointment...

Creating this show was an incredible experience. It was an amazing process, and my family and I want to thank The Crew for showing us that we are capable of Doing and Being so much more than we thought. We loved working with you. We hate the fact that you won’t be returning, and we won’t have an opportunity to continue working with you; but we’ll be with you in spirit on your Grand Adventures.

To the Producers & Directors & The Crew, Thank you for giving us an extraordinarily magickal summer!

Watching TV is so different for me now. I can’t watch two minutes of a camera scanning a scene without thinking about the crew members and how incredibly hard they work. Most people will never know how much time and effort, how much blood-sweat-& tears goes into producing a 60 minute television show. It’s a test in stamina.




The last day of shooting, our house was turned into a studio sound stage to film an interview.  When the crew broke for lunch, we captured this moment on our phone:






Friday, February 19, 2021

What do I need to let go of?

 
Here's your tarot spread for today: "What do I need to let go of?"... 1) for peace of mind; 2) to lighten my heart; 3) to free my soul. I drew several sets today, in order to draw as many scenarios and possibilities as I could for this general reading.







Thursday, February 18, 2021

The Bullsh**t Detector Tarot Spread

 
This appears to be a powerful and painfully accurate detector of Bullsh**t. This is a four card tarot spread that I repeated several times to cover a variety of individuals and circumstances, since this is a general reading for you peoples who manage to find me. How did I do?




The Tarot Parlour

click  HERE


Saturday, February 13, 2021

Seeing things from a new perspective, coming clean

 
It might be time to look at a situation, or a relationship, from a new perspective to see it for what it really is, breaking the spell. It may also be time to come clean and confess, taking your medicine with dignity, rather than allowing someone to blackmail and manipulate you with secret knowledge they hold.




Tuesday, February 9, 2021

A Visit from Your Past


Something unexpected may show up from your past. Are you going to engage with them? Are you going to be thrown into a position of indecision? Are you going to be able to finish and close out a cycle in order to start a new one?




Friday, February 5, 2021

Netflix Favorite ~ Doc Martin (Martin Clunes)

 

One of our favorite Netflix series is Doc Martin:










"He's surly, self-centered, rude, and uptight—but he's the only doctor in town. Martin Clunes (Men Behaving Badly) stars as Doc Martin, a hotshot London surgeon forced to change careers when he develops a fear of blood. Relocating to a sleepy, scenic Cornish fishing village, he offends everyone in town and falls in love with a beautiful teacher."

The actor, Martin Clunes, is nothing like the curmudgeon figure that he plays in the series.  He owns horses and sheep, and turns out to be a dog lover.  I've enjoyed his interviews and a documentary special he did on dogs.

We have heartily enjoyed the series Doc Martin and can't wait until Netflix adds more seasons to its line-up.  I'm not sure if I'm posting all of these videos for blog readers, or mostly for myself, to add to my own little collection.













Chronic Cheaters ~ Beware of Red Flags

 
It's finally time for another relationship post.  I'll be adding this to a compilation of blog posts all on relationship issues.  Click HERE to visit that post.  You will find posts on a plethora of relationship issues, and you'll be able to pick up some advice from the experts.

This is an interesting article, all about the Chronic cheater.  This is the individual that continues to plough a destructive path through peoples' lives over and over and over again.  And all the while, they find ways of justifying their abhorrent behavior and bad choices.

Not everyone may be able to "check" all ten bullet points, but if you can check off five or more, it should raise a red flag.





It’s tempting to think that anybody who cheats is a “cheater,” but I don’t really believe that to be true. For a lot of people, cheating is a one-off, or at least, an out of character series of decisions.

When we talk about “cheaters” or watching out for cheaters, I think it’s important to look at chronic cheating as a better baseline definition. Those who cheat repeatedly and regardless of the consequences.

And there are certain things that nearly every chronic cheater will do.

  • 1. They lie to you.

While this one might seem obvious, for the person who’s in love with a cheater, it’s often not. Even if they know about some of their partner’s cheating habits, they don’t know everything.

It’s not all that uncommon for a couple to gush about how honest they are with each other when nothing could be further from the truth.

A chronic cheater can’t be honest with you because they aren’t honest with themselves.

  • 2. They lie to themselves.

Step into a chronic cheater’s head and you might be surprised that part of the way they manage their guilt is to lie to themselves about what they’re doing.

The lies vary. Maybe they tell themselves that they’re not hurting anyone. They might tell themselves that this is the last time, or that they deserve to see a certain connection through.

It doesn’t really matter what the lie is. The issue is that they can’t have a healthy and honest relationship with anybody else until they finally quit lying to themselves.

  • 3. They idealize love.

For many folks, this is probably a big reason why they cheat. It’s very hard to be happy in any relationship if you’re stuck in this notion that true love is some epic fantasy.

When somebody’s definition of love resembles a movie more than real life, it’s only a matter of time before they get bored and seek out a new thrill.

In fact, a lot of chronic cheaters seem to be addicted to the flood of emotions that comes with a new romance.

  • 4. They gravitate toward partners who can help feed their egos.

That’s not to say that every chronic cheater has a big head. On the contrary, a lot of folks cheat in part because they have low self-esteem or gaping insecurities. That’s why they frequently find partners who will shower them with love and adoration.

The attention they get doesn’t just puff them up. It makes them feel wanted and helps to give them a sense of worthiness they’ve been unable to foster for themselves.

Of course, it also doesn’t last.

  • 5. They guilt their partners.

Like a lot of people, chronic cheaters rarely know how to fight fairly, so they argue with whatever leverage seems effective. Guilt is frequently the weapon of choice anytime a partner begins to question them about their whereabouts, and whenever someone tries to leave or ask for more.

Common phrases include, “you knew what this was,” “this is so much harder for me than it is for you,” and “you’re just like everybody else who’s ever hurt me.”

“Don’t you trust me at all,” is another question begged by many a cheater. The whole point is to turn the situation around on you and get the guilt off of them.

  • 6. They take more than they give.

This one can be hard to see, especially in the beginning if they’ve been “love bombing” you. But it’s a very common theme among anyone who chronically cheats.

You have to look at whatever costs them the most to give. Some chronic cheaters have no problem with showering praise or big, public displays of affection because those things don’t mean much to them.

They will give what is easiest to give.

But when it comes to the hard parts of love that challenge them, or actually cost them something, that’s where you will always give them more than anything they will give to you.

It might be honesty, time, recognition, affection, or sometimes, even money. Whatever it is, they will have no problem taking it from you, and they will always have an excuse as to why they can’t give any of it back.

  • 7. They spin their stories to fit their preferred narrative(s).

Everyone has certain narratives about themselves and others that help them make sense of the world. For chronic cheaters, those narratives help them excuse their choices.

Often, they help spin the story in an effort to deny they ever had any choice in the first place.

They might insist that a certain connection was “meant to be,” or that they are always the victim. For some cheaters, the story says that other people are constantly throwing themselves at them, and they do their best to remain faithful until finally succumbing to the seduction.

Basically, they spin stories as to say, “It’s not my fault.”

  • 8. They don’t deal with the conflict in their relationships.

This is another issue that often lies at the root of a person’s cheating habits. When they face arguments or challenges in their romantic relationships, they never fully deal with what is happening.

They might say that everything is fine. They might even get angry. But the last thing they do is deal with conflict honestly.

They’re much more likely to get by with one foot out the door. When people say that a cheater wants to have their cake and eat it too, this is often what they’re talking about.

A lot of chronic cheaters would rather let a relationship implode by stepping out and cheating instead of honestly ending things first.

  • 9. They blame others.

Their spouse or significant other did something that “made” them cheat. They weren’t getting what they needed from their relationship, so they were simply meeting their own needs.

They can’t be held responsible for somebody else who came onto them, or whatever. With chronic cheating, it is always somebody else’s fault.

Sometimes, it’s even the “universe” that conspires against them.

Wherever they place the blame, this can also be called making excuses. Some cheaters might go so far as to say they’re not wired for monogamy, but rather than pursue ethical non-monogamy, they continue to lie, cheat, and blame others for their decisions.

  • 10. They don’t take responsibility for their own choices.

It’s not easy to admit it when you’ve hurt someone you promised to love. Most people don’t want to be known for breaking hearts and betraying trust wherever they go.

That means it’s easier to pretend that none of their choices to cheat were ever really their choices at all. Chronic cheaters often find it hard to come clean even when everybody knows they’re lying through their teeth.

Their refusal to own their choices and take responsibility for any of the aftermath is often what keeps them stuck in their habits even if they tell themselves they want to quit.

Chronic cheaters don’t have a handle on authenticity or vulnerability, two things you need when it’s time to come clean and take responsibility for your actions.

Chronic cheaters aren’t a lost cause.

I tend to look at chronic cheating much like addictions to drama, toxic relationships, or validation. It doesn’t make them terrible people, but they’re going to keep breaking hearts until they finally deal with what they’re actually doing.

That said, it’s important to understand that you can’t change a chronic cheater. They have to choose to change and do the inner work themselves.

Love can do a lot of things, but there is no amount of outer love that can prevent a habitual cheater from cheating again. That’s because their cheating isn’t about you, it’s about their relationship with themselves.

They won’t stop cheating until they quit lying to themselves and quit living in a fantasy world where love is supposed to be perfect, or that they must get their self-worth from others.

Anything else is just a Band-Aid on too deep of a wound.




The Source:

click  HERE



Tuesday, February 2, 2021

Three Desert Readings for You


  • Who's going to make the first move...

If a couple can overcome a negative feminine influence, a major transition, and one of them is willing to start the conversation, it just might work.



  • Past person, present person, going forward...

After doing this reading (and experiencing 63 years of relationships), I've come to the conclusion that All relationships, at one time or another, have the essence of a shit show about them. It's the lucky people who can go forward and start over to succeed that inspire.



  • The Narcissist: working it out, or walking away...

This was a totally general reading. I had no idea where it was going to go when I started it, but as always, Spirit tells you what someone needs to hear. Think about it.