So, I just finished watching the first season of Meghan Markle's new Netflix life style show: With love, Meghan.
I loved it. And I left a comment on the YouTube trailer of this show saying just that and more -- how relaxing it was to watch, that it has an almost ASMR quality about it, that it's very calm and filled with beautiful images, and colors, and decor. I said that I also loved her soft quiet voice throughout the show, that it just added to the calm and relaxing ambiance.
To my comment was added two positive replies mirroring my own opinions, only two people who had something positive and constructive to say about a delightful, beautifully filmed, fun show. Only two people. As I scrolled through the rest of the comments, I actually became alarmed at the amount of snide, vulgar, ugly, hatefilled rhetoric. What is the matter with these people? I'm thinking something must be wrong here, because these anonymous individuals are expending so much time and energy voicing their hatred towards one little woman, and for no good reason, to be honest. Hating Meghan Markle has become big business. Podcasters and gossip shows are making money and ratings off verbally attacking and eviserating this woman.
So I decided to persue this further, and I found an interesting explanation for all this hate at, of all places:
Psychology Today.
The following illuminating information and unabashed explantion for the attitude of the multitudes towards this one little woman is attributed to Chamin Ajjan, reviewed by Margaret Foley. You can find the original article at this
LINK.
Meghan Markle has once again found herself at the center of a cultural firestorm, this time over her new lifestyle series. The level of vitriol aimed at her is striking but, unfortunately, not surprising. The reaction to her show highlights deeper psychological and societal issues: our obsession with placing celebrities on a pedestal only to revel in their downfall, the dark side of online trolling, the insidious influence of racial biases, and the ever-present sting of envy.
The Pedestal Effect and the Dark Side of Online AnonymityOur culture loves to elevate public figures, only to take pleasure in their downfall. Meghan Markle’s journey from actress to duchess to one of the most scrutinized women in modern history is a prime example. This shift, sometimes called
the pedestal effect, occurs when admiration turns to resentment the moment a public figure stops conforming to expectations.
This phenomenon is often rooted in our insecurities. Seeing someone seemingly have it all can trigger feelings of inadequacy or envy. When they stumble or defy expectations, tearing them down becomes a way to reclaim a sense of control. But does it make us feel better? It may provide a momentary high, but it reinforces negative thought patterns and deepens social divisions.
Social media has amplified this cycle, providing a platform where people feel emboldened to say things they would never say in person. The anonymity of the internet fosters a false sense of power and detachment from consequences, fueling a culture of relentless online bullying, particularly against high-profile women. You might hesitate to call it bullying, but let’s be clear, trolling is cyberbullying. Hate-fueled comment sections and targeted harassment are not just unpleasant; they have real psychological consequences -- increasing anxiety, depression, and even PTSD-like symptoms.
And for those engaging in the bullying? Research suggests it is often a projection of their own insecurities. They may be able to hide behind a screen when making harsh comments, but they cannot hide from their own inner critic.
The Racism Factor: The Narrow Expectations of Blackness
An insidious layer of the backlash against Meghan Markle is racism. Many have been conditioned to believe there is only one acceptable way to exist as a person of Black ancestry, and those who do not fit that mold, whether in speech, choices, relationships, or lifestyle, often face suspicion or hostility.
This form of racial gatekeeping is not new, but in Meghan’s case, it is particularly jarring. Her biracial identity, wealth, and proximity to royalty make her an easy target for those who, consciously or unconsciously, see success and privilege as belonging to a select few. The discomfort surrounding her presence in these spaces is not just personal. It is cultural conditioning at work.
This thinking also fuels internalized racism. Janeé Steele, a scholar and leader in multicultural mental health, describes two sides of this:
"A sense of racial superiority upholds white-centered values as the gold standard for success and behavior, while reactions against mainstream expectations lead some Black individuals to harshly judge themselves and others for not conforming to Black stereotypes."This creates a no-win situation for Black people or those of mixed Black heritage. Too polished, and they are accused of assimilating. Too authentic, and they are labeled as reinforcing stereotypes. Meghan Markle, like many others, challenges the rigid definitions of Blackness imposed by both white and Black communities. This reality continues to fuel much of the hostility toward her.
Your Envy Is Showing: Criticism or Reflection?At its core, much of the backlash against Meghan Markle seems rooted in envy. Not necessarily the obvious "I want to be a princess" kind, but a deeper envy of someone who appears to have crafted a life on her own terms. Many of the loudest critics likely do not even realize that their disdain is a reflection of their own unfulfilled desires.
That is the thing about envy -- it rarely shows up as admiration. Instead, it often disguises itself as judgment. She’s fake. She’s self-absorbed. She’s unrelatable. These are easy criticisms to hurl at someone who seems happy, successful, and unapologetic in her choices. But here is the truth: your envy is showing.
No one is above this emotion. I felt a tinge of envy myself. She has my estate and my garden in my dream town. But instead of letting that feeling curdle into resentment, I let it teach me something about my own desires -- and budget. Envy can be a guide if we allow it. It can reveal what we truly want, rather than becoming a reason to tear others down.
When we feel triggered by someone else’s success, lifestyle, or confidence, it is worth pausing to ask why. Tearing others down will not bring us any closer to what we truly want. It only deepens our dissatisfaction.
Instead of letting envy turn into resentment, we can use it as a tool for self-reflection. What if, instead of criticizing, we allowed ourselves to be inspired? After all, I actually like Meghan’s new show. I find it refreshing. I appreciate how she presents simple, engaging lifestyle ideas in a beautifully shot, visually relaxing format. Watching it feels like a mini vacation -- something we could all use in an often overwhelming world.
And if that is not your thing? That is fine. The beauty of media is that we can choose what we consume. But tearing something or someone down just because we do not like it? That says more about us than it does about her.
Critique Without Cruelty
Not every piece of entertainment is for everyone, and thoughtful criticism is valuable. But there is a difference between constructive critique and the gleeful destruction of someone else’s work and character.
At the end of the day, we do not have to like everything. But we do not have to tear it down to build ourselves up.
