With Love Meghan Inflames the Haters

 

So, I just finished watching the first season of Meghan Markle's new Netflix life style show: With love, Meghan.  

I loved it.  And I left a comment on the YouTube trailer of this show saying just that and more -- how relaxing it was to watch, that it has an almost ASMR quality about it, that it's very calm and filled with beautiful images, and colors, and decor.  I said that I also loved her soft quiet voice throughout the show, that it just added to the calm and relaxing ambiance.

To my comment was added two positive replies mirroring my own opinions, only two people who had something positive and constructive to say about a delightful, beautifully filmed, fun show.  Only two people.  As I scrolled through the rest of the comments, I actually became alarmed at the amount of snide, vulgar, ugly, hatefilled rhetoric.  What is the matter with these people?  I'm thinking something must be wrong here, because these anonymous individuals are expending so much time and energy voicing their hatred towards one little woman, and for no good reason, to be honest.  Hating Meghan Markle has become big business.  Podcasters and gossip shows are making money and ratings off verbally attacking and eviserating this woman.

So I decided to persue this further, and I found an interesting explanation for all this hate at, of all places:  Psychology Today.

The following illuminating information and unabashed explantion for the attitude of the multitudes towards this one little woman is attributed to Chamin Ajjan, reviewed by Margaret Foley. You can find the original article at this LINK.

Meghan Markle has once again found herself at the center of a cultural firestorm, this time over her new lifestyle series. The level of vitriol aimed at her is striking but, unfortunately, not surprising. The reaction to her show highlights deeper psychological and societal issues: our obsession with placing celebrities on a pedestal only to revel in their downfall, the dark side of online trolling, the insidious influence of racial biases, and the ever-present sting of envy.

The Pedestal Effect and the Dark Side of Online Anonymity

Our culture loves to elevate public figures, only to take pleasure in their downfall. Meghan Markle’s journey from actress to duchess to one of the most scrutinized women in modern history is a prime example. This shift, sometimes called the pedestal effect, occurs when admiration turns to resentment the moment a public figure stops conforming to expectations.

This phenomenon is often rooted in our insecurities. Seeing someone seemingly have it all can trigger feelings of inadequacy or envy. When they stumble or defy expectations, tearing them down becomes a way to reclaim a sense of control. But does it make us feel better? It may provide a momentary high, but it reinforces negative thought patterns and deepens social divisions.

Social media has amplified this cycle, providing a platform where people feel emboldened to say things they would never say in person. The anonymity of the internet fosters a false sense of power and detachment from consequences, fueling a culture of relentless online bullying, particularly against high-profile women. You might hesitate to call it bullying, but let’s be clear, trolling is cyberbullying. Hate-fueled comment sections and targeted harassment are not just unpleasant; they have real psychological consequences -- increasing anxiety, depression, and even PTSD-like symptoms.

And for those engaging in the bullying? Research suggests it is often a projection of their own insecurities. They may be able to hide behind a screen when making harsh comments, but they cannot hide from their own inner critic.

The Racism Factor: The Narrow Expectations of Blackness

An insidious layer of the backlash against Meghan Markle is racism. Many have been conditioned to believe there is only one acceptable way to exist as a person of Black ancestry, and those who do not fit that mold, whether in speech, choices, relationships, or lifestyle, often face suspicion or hostility.

This form of racial gatekeeping is not new, but in Meghan’s case, it is particularly jarring. Her biracial identity, wealth, and proximity to royalty make her an easy target for those who, consciously or unconsciously, see success and privilege as belonging to a select few. The discomfort surrounding her presence in these spaces is not just personal. It is cultural conditioning at work.

This thinking also fuels internalized racism. Janeé Steele, a scholar and leader in multicultural mental health, describes two sides of this: "A sense of racial superiority upholds white-centered values as the gold standard for success and behavior, while reactions against mainstream expectations lead some Black individuals to harshly judge themselves and others for not conforming to Black stereotypes."

This creates a no-win situation for Black people or those of mixed Black heritage. Too polished, and they are accused of assimilating. Too authentic, and they are labeled as reinforcing stereotypes. Meghan Markle, like many others, challenges the rigid definitions of Blackness imposed by both white and Black communities. This reality continues to fuel much of the hostility toward her.

Your Envy Is Showing: Criticism or Reflection?

At its core, much of the backlash against Meghan Markle seems rooted in envy. Not necessarily the obvious "I want to be a princess" kind, but a deeper envy of someone who appears to have crafted a life on her own terms. Many of the loudest critics likely do not even realize that their disdain is a reflection of their own unfulfilled desires.

That is the thing about envy -- it rarely shows up as admiration. Instead, it often disguises itself as judgment. She’s fake. She’s self-absorbed. She’s unrelatable. These are easy criticisms to hurl at someone who seems happy, successful, and unapologetic in her choices. But here is the truth: your envy is showing.

No one is above this emotion. I felt a tinge of envy myself. She has my estate and my garden in my dream town. But instead of letting that feeling curdle into resentment, I let it teach me something about my own desires -- and budget. Envy can be a guide if we allow it. It can reveal what we truly want, rather than becoming a reason to tear others down.

When we feel triggered by someone else’s success, lifestyle, or confidence, it is worth pausing to ask why. Tearing others down will not bring us any closer to what we truly want. It only deepens our dissatisfaction.

Instead of letting envy turn into resentment, we can use it as a tool for self-reflection. What if, instead of criticizing, we allowed ourselves to be inspired? After all, I actually like Meghan’s new show. I find it refreshing. I appreciate how she presents simple, engaging lifestyle ideas in a beautifully shot, visually relaxing format. Watching it feels like a mini vacation -- something we could all use in an often overwhelming world.

And if that is not your thing? That is fine. The beauty of media is that we can choose what we consume. But tearing something or someone down just because we do not like it? That says more about us than it does about her.

Critique Without Cruelty

Not every piece of entertainment is for everyone, and thoughtful criticism is valuable. But there is a difference between constructive critique and the gleeful destruction of someone else’s work and character.

At the end of the day, we do not have to like everything. But we do not have to tear it down to build ourselves up.

Three Degrees of Witch & the Ritual

 

First Degree

You felt the calling. Something intangible and unnamable whispered in your ear, tugged at your dreams. It eventually became louder, more insistent, and it began to appear in your everyday life as a series of uniquely synchronistic experiences…a book title leaped out at you when browsing a bookstore; the trees seemed, for an instant, to be speaking to you as the wind passed through their leaves; an animal appeared to you, not once, but several times in several forms-- the living raven sitting on your back porch rail, intently staring at you through the windows; the image of the raven, a logo on the side of a vehicle, passing you on the freeway; a statuary image of the raven, inexplicably showing up on a receptionist’s desk in the dentist or doctor’s office.

Every individual’s experience is unique, and at the same time, I’ve noticed a similarity.

When the pull becomes strong enough and the calling can no longer be ignored, you begin your first year of study, of enlightenment, of growth and development. During this time, unknown planes of existence and new concepts unroll themselves before you. The world, as you know it, disappears and takes on new dimensions, colors, spirit, forms, and infinite possibilities.

At the end of the first year, doors to the universe have been flung open. Armed with this new knowledge, you stand at the threshold of a new life. You realize that you will never be able to retreat to your previous existence, because once you “know”, you can never “unknow”.

You have reached the first degree.

Second Degree

The second year of study plunges ahead, in an almost frenzied manic attempt to put into action the newly revealed knowledge you have acquired. You are not only going to put into practice all of the information you’ve absorbed, you’re going to manifest it into your everyday life and the physical world.

You’re going to cast circles in space that you yourself have cleansed and prepared. You will cast these circles at first in quivering voices with trembling hands, marveling at the energy you feel and struck by the stark reality of it all.

You are going to cast spells in the same way, with heightened senses and a rush of adrenalin that adds its natural power to your work. Never again will you feel this rush of energy as you do during this time, the rush of magic enveloped with ethereal intensity. For it is at this time that it finally dawns on you what you are and what you’re capable of doing.

When this realization hits you, you will know that you have reached the second degree.

Third Degree

With the third year comes a sense of peace, both from within yourself and from the natural world around you. The second degree was framed so explicitly within physical experiences that it left you with raw pulsating nerve endings throbbing from over-stimulation. But the third year is going to abandon the physical world all together, leaving it behind, taking you by the hand into a new and profound awareness of the spiritual side of witchcraft.

This is when many of you will discover your personal path, your patron gods or goddesses, your core beliefs, your strengths and your weaknesses. For the first time in your life perhaps, the true meaning of “Spirit” becomes a concrete reality.

It’s at this time that your gifts may begin to surface. For some, psychic ability will awaken and leave you in a state of astounded amazement, eager to strengthen this new occult muscle and put it to good use. For others the miraculous world of herbs may unfold before you in a panorama of colored blossoms, green leaves, dried stems, and dormant magic lying within each gently gathered plant. Whatever your gift or gifts may be, you will recognize your potential once it has been revealed to you.

For each witch this will be an extremely personal journey. And when you feel the power of the universe touching you gently on the shoulder, and you know where your life’s work lay…

You have reached the third degree.

Although I belong to a coven now, I began my journey on the witches’ path alone, and I stayed upon a solitary course for many years. I have also experienced a formal solitary initiation through ritual; and I found it to be one of the most memorable and moving experiences of my life. And to the surprise and wonder of many, I experienced self-initiation-- complete with formal rituals, to the third degree. I chose to mark my personal solitary journey through the Craft with a formal ritual at each point. I encourage others to do the same.

Although I am a member of a coven now and cherish my sisters, I have always-- and will always-- describe myself as a third degree, self-initiated, solitary witch, a rebel on this path of the wild woman.

Understand that you will experience the three degrees of inward initiation, whether you choose to formally recognize it, or to outwardly celebrate and acknowledge it. I chose to wholeheartedly celebrate and honor these initiations with ritual.

Before your self-initiation ritual, read the following blog post:

From The Witch's Desk ~

CHOOSING YOUR CRAFT NAME

The Ritual

Self-Initiation

Note: Read the entire initiation ritual through and become familiar with it before you perform it. Make sure you have gathered all of the required items; the oil, and candles, and such, and that you feel prepared to step across the threshold of this mundane world.

Items needed:

1. Loose fitting robe
2. Silver pendent, usually a pentacle
3. White pillar initiation candle
4. Witches’ oil
5. Incense

The time has come, the day is here, to cement your devotion and commitment to the path of witch. You will have prepared the area of your sacred space for this ritual the day before, not only cleansing it mundanely, but reiving it of negative energy. You will decorate the altar and this space with those flowers, herbs, stones, statuary, and articles that ring with your vibrations and your personal inspirations.

The morning of your special day you will bathe with intent, cleansing not only your body, but your mind and your spirit as well, paving the way for purity of intent and application of personal power.

You will wear a long loose robe, one that can be easily shifted aside to expose those areas of the body to be anointed, or you will perform this ritual skyclad (naked). You will have purchased a silver pendent necklace as a symbol of your new position in life. This pendent may be a pentacle, or it may be a symbol that resonates more closely with your own energy.

When you have bathed and dressed yourself, and after you have taken some time to ground and center yourself, you will begin.

1. Cast your circle.

2. Call the Quarters.

3. Light the tall white pillar candle upon your altar. This candle is representative of the Goddess, often called ‘The Mother Candle’. Light your incense as well, representing the God. Your initiation pendent will lay upon the altar until you’re ready for it.

4. Light the special candle that you’ve chosen as your initiation candle, saying:

“I, (name), have entered this circle in perfect love and perfect trust. I am ready to commit myself to the way of witch. I place myself now before the altar of the Goddess and the God, before the altar of the Ancient Ones, before the altar of the Powers that Be.”

5. Stand before the altar now and prepare to anoint yourself. Taking the bottle of oil from the altar, put some oil on your fingers and touch them to the tops of your feet, saying:

“Bless these feet,

created to walk the way of witch.”

Apply the oil to your knees, saying:

“Bless these knees,

created to kneel before the altar of the Goddess.”

Apply the oil to your genitals, saying:

“Bless this womb, the gateway to life.”

Note: If the initiate is a male, say:

 

“Bless this phallus, Creator of life.”

Apply the oil to your breasts, saying:

“Bless these breasts and the heart beneath,

that my motives be pure

and my will be strong.”

Touch the oil to your forehead, tracing a pentagram upon it, and set the bottle of oil back upon your altar.

6. Take up your initiation pendent, holding it aloft, stand before the altar, saying:

“I, (name), do solemnly swear upon the blood of my ancestors to devote the rest of my days to living the way of witch.

I swear loyalty to the Ancient Ones, the gods and goddesses who always were, are now, and shall forever be.

I swear loyalty to my fellow witches; my sister-witches of the past, as well as those who touch my life today, and those I have yet to meet. I vow to keep their secrets, to learn from them as well as teach, to respect our differences, and to celebrate our journey together upon this sacred path.

I freely take upon myself the life of witch. As I turn the corner to live my destiny, I declare to the Powers present here that my magical name is (craft name).”

7. With your pendent in your hands, go now and stand before the gate of Earth, north gate. Raise your pendent aloft, saying:

“By the powers of Earth,

May I flourish in the physical realm.

Guardians of the Gateway of Earth,

know me,

I am (craft name)!”

Go now and stand before the gate of Air, east gate. Raise your pendent aloft, saying:

“By the powers of Air,

May I grow in knowledge and wisdom.

Guardians of the Gateway of Air,

know me,

I am (craft name)!”

Go now and stand before the gate of Fire, south gate. Raise your pendent aloft, saying:

“By the powers of Fire,

May I grow in passion and strength of will.

Guardians of the Gateway of Fire,

know me,

I am (craft name)!”

Go now and stand before the gate of Water, west gate. Raise your pendent aloft, saying:

“By the powers of Water,

May I grow in intuition and second sight.

Guardians of the Gateway of Water,

know me,

I am (craft name)!”

8. Return now to the altar. Hold aloft your pendent, saying:

”By Earth and Air, Fire and Water,

Rejoice!

Upon this day, a witch is born--

(craft name)!

So Mote It Be.”

9. Put on your pendent necklace.

10. The ritual is finished. Take your time within the circle to ground and center, to reflect, to absorb the experience. When you are ready, dismiss the quarters, dismantle the circle. Go and eat something to replenish your energy. And celebrate.

SOURCE:

The Gray Witch's Grimoire
@ Amazon in print & kindle

What makes this book unique? The world of the gray witch has been largely avoided, misrepresented, or glossed over with various books geared gingerly towards ‘protection magic’. These books, though informative and well written as they may be, have totally missed the spirit of the gray witch – who she really is, how she relates to the world of shadow and light, and exactly what she’s willing to do to stand her ground. 

In our society ‘dark’ is automatically viewed as ‘evil’; and ‘light’ is automatically viewed as ‘good’. We’re expected to live completely within one realm and to totally avoid the other. This creates imbalance and is a great injustice to the true spirit of the ancient wise woman. 

This book puts matters to right and gives the public a view of just what the gray witch is – and what she isn’t. The gray witch does not live in a world of chaos or unbridled black magic. She has a code of honor, a sense of propriety, and a relevance in today’s society.