From The Witch's Desk ~ Paranormal Journal: Doppelganger, or Astral Travel?

 

(July 2015)

Yesterday morning my husband and I had a very unusual paranormal experience, and when we were in the midst of it, we weren’t even aware of it! We get up early at our house Monday-Thursday, because my partner works 1st shift, and he has a short commute to the next quaint Nebraska village-down-the-road. So this all occurred sometime between 3:15am and 3:45am; he left the house around 3:30ish.

He’s up first and heads out into the kitchen. Laura (our 19-year-old daughter) is sleeping on the couch, as is usual for her. She has her back to the living-room, her wild blonde hair in a pony that’s all flouncy on the pillow. I follow my partner out to the kitchen and glance at her too, with all that curly hair scattered all over her pillow, thinking we have to be quiet so we don’t wake her up.

My partner exits the front door, and I go back to the bedroom to get some flip-flops so that I can go out and crack the big garage door for our outdoor cats– a thunderstorm was coming, complete with fantastic lightening, and the wind was picking up. I tip-toe back up the stairs when I enter the house (it’s a split foyer), and I glance once more at Laura sleeping on the couch, then I quietly make my way down the hall so I won’t wake her up. I even watch the news in the bedroom with the volume real low so that she won’t be disturbed.

At 7am, my partner calls on break.

First thing he said was, “So, who did Laura lend her car to?”

I was totally stupefied. “What do you mean?”

He said, “Her car was gone when I left this morning.”

I said, “No, it couldn’t have been, she’s asleep on the couch, she wouldn’t lend her car to anyone.”

I had been so intent on the storm and the lightening when I made my fast jog to the garage and back, that I hadn’t even noticed whether her car was in the driveway or not.

I said, “Just a minute.”

Phone in hand, I walked down the hallway to the living-room. The couch was empty. I looked out the window and saw that her car was not in the driveway.

How could this be? We BOTH saw Laura sleeping on the living-room couch.

Now I was worried. This was so extraordinarily odd, and one of the first things I thought of was a doppelganger, which in the old definition means someone who’s passed making themselves briefly visible in a mundane setting.

I texted Laura. I called her phone. I left a message for her on Facebook giving a very short version of the above occurrence. Eventually, I got a text back from her... she agreed this was weird, because she’d been gone all night. She was never home!

Laura wasn’t home at all when we thought we saw her sleeping on the couch.

I’ve talked about this with Laura’s sister Anne, and we recall that this type of thing has occurred off and on throughout the years in this house, with the figure always resembling Laura:

Laura’s youngest sister Emma had seen her enter her bedroom during the night, but it couldn’t have been Laura, because when Emma called to me and I checked Laura, she was sound asleep in her bed.

My partner was upset one evening because he saw Laura down the hallway, moving from one doorway to the next, when she was suppose to be asleep, but when I checked her, she actually was asleep in her room, it hadn’t been Laura he was watching.

There have been several other incidences like this when one or more family members thought they saw Laura when it could not have been possible, and it was in fact not her.

The only other explanation I have, and I’ve talked with Laura about this, is that she has the ability to astral project, but she only does it sub-consciously in her sleep.

We’re all shaking our heads over this last incident though. It went way above and beyond the realm of weird.

From The Witch's Desk ~ Psychic Journal: The Radio

(Psychic Journal, July 2010)

Know before you read this that clairaudience experienced outside of my head is a very rare thing for me.

First, the definition of clairaudience:

This is a person who will pick up a thought and hear it, either as a voice inside their head, or as an actual external voice. This person's mental or intellectual understanding is very important and they can make good leaders. We all know someone that we would say was a mental person, always having to understand mentally. They carefully think things through. If this person were to become enlightened they would have the ability to become a medium, someone who channels information from entities who have passed over, because their most heightened sensitivity is to hear.

The alarm had went off at about 5:30am. My husband has it set on the radio instead of the usual alarm buzzer, so we’re woken up by voices or music five mornings a week at the crack of dawn.

I opened my eyes and simultaneously saw my husband’s arm reaching to turn off the alarm as I heard my own voice speaking over the radio. I sat up and said to him, “Did you hear that? That was me!”

He looked a little puzzled, and I wondered why. He mumbled, “What?” I said, “That was my voice on the radio, didn’t you hear it?”

He had not. I couldn’t believe he didn’t hear it. It had been so clear, and it was shocking because I hadn’t expected to hear my own voice.

The next day, I received an email from the program manager of an internet radio network. He wanted to know if I wanted my own radio show.

(note: I declined his offer)

From The Witch's Desk ~ Dream Journal Entry: The Fetus

 

I keep a dream journal. I have for years; and I never cease to be amazed at the dreamscape world in our sub-conscious mind. Sometimes my dreams are a conglomeration of images and moments from my day, sometimes they are deceased relatives showing up to tell me something or to reassure me that they’re okay, and once in a while my dreams appear as a bizarre scenario, played out in this surrealistic plane:

The Fetus:

There was a dead fetus beneath our large lilac bush. It was very well formed, probably close to full term, umbilical cord attached, curled into a fetal position and laying on its side, its skin very gray in color.

We were standing around the lilac bush, beneath the trees, me and a group of police officers and detectives. The officers were meandering around, doing their business, talking amongst themselves. The detectives were talking to me and taking notes, scribbling on small notepads cupped in the palms of their hands.

One detective asked me, “Do you know of anyone living in your area who’s pregnant?”

I cringed inwardly and thought to myself– gawds, I really hate to implicate the neighbors. I said to the detective, “Yes, there is a girl in our neighborhood who’s pregnant, but this family seems to have things under control. Even though we don’t know them all that well, I’d be very surprised if they were involved in something like this.”

Then I stood silent while the detectives talked amongst themselves.

I got to thinking, while I was standing there, that there was no blood around the baby, the scene was in fact amazingly bloodless. Having a baby is messy, and the lack of blood would indicate that the baby had been born somewhere else and then deposited here.

I kept thinking there must be blood here somewhere. So, while I remained standing still in my spot, I began to look around the area in ever widening circles, slowly and deliberately, searching for some sign of blood on the ground, or in the grass.

Eventually I found it, a single drop of blood in the grass between the maple tree and the barn, near the garden. My first thought was: It’s a trail that leads straight to the neighbor's house. And I had this terrible sinking feeling. Then I thought– no, I can’t think that, because this also leads to the gate, a way out of the yard.

As the police were finishing up and preparing to move the body, I said to the detectives: “I have a request.” The detective paused, looking curiously at me. “I’d like to hold the baby once before you take it away.”

I knew before I made the request that they would think it was strange and it would make them suspicious. First, they began to question me about my own daughters. I told them what they wanted to know, reassured them that none were pregnant, and if one had been as far along as this baby was, we would certainly have known it.

Then one of the detectives said to me, “Why do you want to hold the baby?”

I told him, “We have all been standing around here repulsed and shuddering at this baby, and this is not suppose to be the reaction at a baby’s birth.”

I felt sorry for it, that it was so unwanted. I hoped that the spirit of the child would feel the comfort of being held.

From The Witch's Desk ~ "The Scent of You"

 

July, 2009, John C. Fremont Days in our community, which means tents of vendors, open air food courts, shaved ice treats, and entertainment.

I had taken my girls to the park, and we were making the rounds, just heading over to the food court, when I suddenly stopped in my tracks. I caught a whiff of a scent, for the briefest second, a familiar scent, a very dear friend.

I raised my hands slightly to stop the girls, and I said, "I smell Lori." My 16-year-old daughter said, "That is weird, and if we run into her it will really be weird."

We made our way through the food court and couldn’t decide what we wanted. We were really waiting for the shaved ice cubicle to open, to tell you the truth. So we went around the outskirts of the park, cutting through, past the tent set up for entertainment, when we heard someone shouting ‘Hey!’

I turned around, and there was my friend, Lori, with her partner. My 16-year-old daughter murmured, "That is so weird!"

I think it is so wonderful.

What must it say about the kind of connection we have to people who touch our lives in a genuine way.

Journaling Tips for Beginners

Getting started with journaling can be frustrating, especially if you don’t know what to write. But with so many benefits, it’s easy to understand why so many people want to make it a habit.

Writing down your personal thoughts and feelings isn’t something most people do on a regular basis. So sitting and staring down at a blank piece of paper trying to figure out how to start journaling can be somewhat intimidating. After about five minutes of looking at your journal, it’s tempting to just give up altogether and just chalk it up as something that’s not for you.

However, writer’s block does not have to plague you. With these approaches to journaling, it’ll no longer be overwhelming or laborious.

Here are 10 journaling tips for beginners:

1. Use a pen and paper

Though we recommend using a traditional diary or notebook, doing so can sometimes be a challenge. Having an app allows you to write down your thoughts almost anywhere. The downside is that your device can quickly become a distraction when notifications begin to go off.

Writing by hand gives you a break from the screen, allowing your mind to unplug, especially if your work requires you to use a computer or phone all day.

If you’re going to write by hand (like we suggest), make sure you get a good journal to write in.

[Notes by Amythyst:  For most of my professional writing experience, I've always chosen to hand write the first draft of a manuscript.  It's only with the last couple books that I've forgone this practice in lieu of Libra Office and my computer.  Journaling ALWAYS takes place by hand, with pen and paper, and preferably with an old-fashioned fountain pen... there's nothing like them, nothing writes this way, or feels this way, so connected to the paper and so grounded.  There's something about hand writing your thoughts that open up the pathways to creativity.  If you've never done it this way before, I suggest you try it.  Find a notebook and a fountain pen that speaks to you.]

2. Journal in the morning

Studies show that it is best to write first thing in the morning. It’s when your mind is most quiet and free from external influences. Do not pick up your phone to check social media. Instead, keep a journaling book and a pen next to your bed. Once you’re awake, reach for it and start writing. It does not matter how groggy you feel, just let the words flow. This is also a great practice for dream journaling as well.

Night owls might not agree with this. If morning is not the time for you, set a time in your day where you’re most productive and least likely to be interrupted. Do this the same time every day to make journaling a lasting habit.

[Notes by Amythyst:  I totally agree!  I've always done the bulk of my writing (both my personal journaling, as well as working on manuscripts) in the wee early hours of the morning, preferably with a good cup of hot coffee, a comfy bathrobe, and when weather permits, an outdoor table spot.  Your thoughts will flow while the birds do their early morning thing.  I love it!]

3. Write Every Day

Whichever time you pick, morning or evening, make sure you write in your journal daily, even when you don’t feel like it.

If you perceive that you have nothing to write about, write that sentence down. After a few lines of struggling to get your ideas out, the reason why you don’t want to write will soon reveal itself. It’s likely that you’re running away from something you don’t want or aren’t ready to face.

[Notes by Amythyst:  So true!  The well is never completely dry, not even when you think it is!]

4. Make time

Sometimes days get off to a busy start, and you’re unable to spare time to write. On these days, carry a journal with you so you can write your thoughts down when you have free time.  5-10 minutes of quiet and uninterrupted time is sufficient. You don’t have to write in prose; state main ideas in bullet points. If you need to, you can go and flesh these out later.

[Notes by Amythyst:  I have a couple thoughts to add here... 1.  "Not having time to write" ~ I have written diary entries and written books while consumed with the physical care and home-schooling of six children, a huge house to maintain, meals to prepare, and babies to breast feed.  The WRITER will WRITE, no matter how many obstacles are put in their path.  2.  I've always carried a notebook to jot down unexpected thoughts and ideas because it never fails that if you don't write them down, you will forget them!]

5. Try stream of consciousness journaling

Write about everything and nothing.  It is a non-judgmental flow of your thoughts; think of it as transcribing what is in your thoughts without any editing to have it make sense.

This session is known as a “stream of consciousness.” Don’t filter or censor your thoughts or feelings. Don’t mind the grammatical errors, just keep writing. After a few minutes, your mind will take on a more defined flow or theme that you can reflect on. This method is the rawest form journaling there is. It de-clutters your mind and shows you what the source of confusion, stress or pain is.

During this process, be patient. Most of all, don’t force yourself to think and write contrary to the “stream.”

[Notes by Amythyst:  This is an excellent idea, though I've carried this a step further on my occult metaphysical path by trying my hand at "Automatic Writing".  For those who've never heard this term before, it's kind of like turning your writing hand into a Ouija board planchette and allowing the spirits to take over.  The results can be astounding, eye-opening, and a little spooky.]

6. Write about the current space you’re in

Journal about what’s happening in your life. In detail, talk about your relationships, work, home, family, health, finances- anything that affects you. Then write down where you want to be and the steps you can take to get there.

This approach to goal setting will push you to do what’s required to transform yourself for the better. It also gives you a realistic picture of where you are. In that way, you’re given the opportunity to course-correct to meet your target.

[Notes by Amythyst:  I've kept a diary for years.  Each one of my children has a diary entry relating the events on the day of their birth.  When they inherit my diaries, they will also have well detailed imagery of our time at home, as well as special events, vacations, and mile stones. I have also kept dream journals, which are incredibly enlightening as to what's happening in your life and the effects at the time.]

7. Use journaling prompts

This is easily one of the best journaling tips for beginners.

Can’t get past the blank page? Journaling prompts like these will facilitate the frame of mind required when journaling. A journal prompt is just a question or topic that helps get your mind flowing. Since journaling from scratch is difficult for some people, prompts give you a starting point.

Reflect and answer each question as honestly as possible. This exercise is guaranteed to bring to the forefront of your mind the causes of most of your problems and what to do about them. Most of all, they help you shed off unwanted stress, anxiety and other burdens for a more carefree life.

[Notes by Amythyst:  I've posted several "journaling prompts" at The Writer's Corner Facebook Page.  Just bring up photos and you'll find the prompts.  You can also visit Pintrest, doing a search for writing prompts of all kinds.]

8. Talk to your inner child

Self-help books have popularized the concept of “the inner child.” It’s quite easy to shelf this under pop psychology, but this incorrect assumption may be costing you more than you think. The inner child is not literal, though it does exist. It refers to an unconscious part of your mind. Here is where you find the source of emotional, relational and behavioral difficulties that plague you in your adulthood.

To have a conversation with your inner child, ask your subconscious mind questions in the second person. This concept might seem strange, but remember, our conscious/awake part of the mind is just the tip of the iceberg. You know more than you think you do.

9. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude

Every time you journal, list all the things you’re grateful for in that moment. Doing this at the beginning frames the way in which your approach your problems. You’ll note a shift in your outlook on life. Positivity will become the norm, and not the exception.

Finding it hard to be thankful every day? This article highlights the physical, emotional, psychological, and behavioral benefits of being grateful. If you have a hard time remembering what to be thankful for, there are plenty of apps with reminders online you can download.

[Notes by Amythyst:  I have tried gratitude journaling for a brief time.  It just wasn't my cup of tea.  I get more out of regular journal entries.  I'm not sure why.  There are indeed things I'm grateful for, it just seemed contrived and artificial when I tried to record it in a gratitude journal.  You may feel differently about this.]

10. Keep it private

People new to journaling often wonder if they should keep it private, or share it with others. The short answer is, it’s up to you.  Some people suggest that you could show sections of your journal to trusted people. If you have to, read it out loud or summarize what was written.

Otherwise, don’t show it to anyone. Treat your journal as a sacred object.

[Notes by Amythyst:  There are a couple different ways of looking at this ~ 1.  Sometimes I've actually enjoyed sharing the memories and pages of my diary with family or a friend.  2.  Sometimes we write when we're in a very dark place, and this is what puts perspective on our life and the direction that we're going to take.  If you don't feel that your inner-most darkest thoughts are private, it might inhibit what you write.]

Journaling Writing for Beginners

When doing anything in life, having a personal and well-defined purpose.  Journaling will encourage you to stick to it. Do you want to journal to relieve stress and anxiety? Do you want to deal with childhood trauma? Whatever your reason, the results will be the same. You’ll be wiser, enlightened, kinder and all-around better version of yourself. Do not be surprised when others notice the change before you.

Hopefully these 10 journaling tips for beginners are just the motivation you needed to get started. Don’t procrastinate any longer. Get a journal and start writing!

Source:

https://mellowed.com/journaling-for-beginners/

A Crystal, a Candle, & a French Chant

I'm migrating to a new computer, thanks to my son, who is doing all the technical work AND supplying me with the new computer (those 15 hours of labor 26 years ago are paying off *lol*).  He has moved EVERYTHING from my old computer into the new one, which is a huge job, as I've accumulated so much through years of writing, photographing, video taping, and Doing Stuff.  I'm actually finding things that I've forgotten about in old files, and that's what I'm posting here today.  The following Spell was in a folder I used for taking notes, called "Personal Notebook".  I don't have these entries dated, nor have I recorded any original sources, but as so often the case with this type of thing, this Spell is perfect for the Here n' Now ~

"Eleven Mysteries Exercise"...brief notes:
(personally modified)...

crystal, white candle,

Take a deep breath. Place your hands, palms down, one on each side of the crystal. Empty your mind. Slowly open your hands so that they will rest on the table, but the palms are facing each other-- still the same distance apart, one on each side of the crystal. If you are trying to materialize an object, place a lodestone or pair of lodestones beside the crystal.

As you recite the chant, bring your hands together-- a mark at a time. This means that you will be saying the chant eleven times in all, while focusing on the crystal in the middle that rests upon your desire.

Begin, with the first of eleven repetitions:

"Venez a' moi. (pause) Come to me.

De'plier. (pause) Unfold.

Dimension to dimension.

De'plier. (pause) Unfold.

As you utter the charm, your hands will most likely grow significantly warm and you may feel as if you are actually holding something-- which, in essence, you are.

On the eleventh repetition, as you utter the last word ("De'plier"), with a rush of breath, open your eyes and look immediately up to the right-- that place where we manufacture from fantasy into reality of the spoken word and say-- "Cachet! Tow!", which roughly translates to "hide the spell".

 

This is where I place links & promote Stuff ~

 

THE WITCH'S CORNER

(Lady Amythyst)

 

My website, started in 2009 at Webs, is alive and well; it's just moved to a new location and has a new URL:

 

http://amythystraine.blogspot.com

 

 

ALL of the content from the original site can be found at this new location, plus a few new and extra things going on as well.  Feel free to leave comments, suggestions, or hello's in the comment boxes provided at the bottom of every page.

 

Blessings,

Amythyst

 

 

What do you do in Fremont, Nebraska?

This is what we did today, some of my girls and I. 

First, we piled into one very small car:

The Backseat Girls
(Kind of sounds like The Backstreet Boys)

The Designated Driver
(and the owner of the small car we were smooshed into)

My Gaga Girl & My Preppy Girl

My Goth Girl
 

We live in kind of a semi-rural housing development where we still have gravel streets.  Two blocks from our house are open fields and shelter belts.  So on our way "Into Town", as we call our journey, we stopped to take some very pretty "Country Winter Photos". Stopping the car along the way, Laura (with her phone camera) and me (with my $75 35millimeter Wal-Mart treasure), would hop out and slog along the ditches shooting snow and trees, and more snow, and more trees (watching all the time for oncoming vehicles).

This is a house at the very-- very-- end of our street.
They have Lots-of-Trees.

Lots of Evergreen Trees...and snow

A Drive-Way-Through-the-Trees

This is an entrance to our Dr.s House.  He's somewhere in there, amongst 40 acres and lots and lots of trees.  We have no idea what his house looks like; but he's a very nice man who told us to wander the shelterbelts and take pictures to our hearts content.  So he's okay in my book.

A Regular Tree & Evergreen Trees
(It must feel kind of naked & embarrassed amongst all those hoary evergreen trees.)

More Trees...and snow

Yep, another tree...and more snow

A Bunch of Trees
(I think they call this a grove.)

On our journey 'Into Town", we took the back way, past the golf course, and we had to stop for a train.  The two ladies in the two cars ahead of us looked at me like I'd lost my mind when I got out of the car to snap a picture.  They do the "I'm going to look straight ahead and pretend I don't see you thing", as they purse their lips.  I don't know why people "purse their lips" when they disapprove of something, but I'll bet other orifices and sphincter muscles are just as tightly puckered.  (she says with a malicious smile).

The Train
(I actually got a kick out of jogging up the road to
photograph the train, I felt all "Photo Journalist".)

Once we crossed the invisible line between "out-of-town" and "in-town", our route took us down 23rd Street.  Pretty much anything that you will ever need while living in Fremont, Nebraska, will be found on 23rd. Street.  There is a very small "old-market" kind of area on South Maine St., but that's not where we were headed today.  So 23rd Street it is (which is really Highway 30 in drag).



23rd Street-- West End
(Almost right around the corner from the train.)

McDonalds Just Ahead!
(We've spent many blissful hours here clogging our arteries.)

Stoplight at the Corner of 23rd. & Clarkson
(There is a Scooters at this corner-- yummy yogurt bar!)

First Stop!...the infamous "Kwik Shop".  These places are the hub of activity in small communities (seriously). 

Okay, everyone out!

My Cappuccino Girls

My Iced-Slurpy Girls

Okay, everybody, back in the car!



My Gaga Girl & Mum
(I'm clutching a: White Chocolate Caramel Cappuccino)

The man who owns the white pickup paused while we snapped this picture before stepping off the curb to get in his vehicle.  He was giving us sort of an odd, "I wonder what they're doing" look, so I said to him, "We're hard-pressed for entertainment here in Fremont, Nebraska...he laughed. (It's nice to hear someone laugh, a genuine "this-is-really-funny" chuckle.)

Where to next?

Well-- if you've got coffee, you need pastries. (I'm sure this must be a written rule somewhere.)

Yep...23rd. Street
(Right down the road from the Kwik Shop on Bell Street.)

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

The Flower Shop @ Hy-vee's Entrance
(The End)

And this answers the original question: 
What do you do in Fremont, Nebraska?


You can click on the pictures to make them BIG!

 

Memoir: We Interrupt Tonight's Programming

Memoir: January 13, 14, 15, 16, 1991
(unedited)

*Note:   I was watching TV during the evening of January 16th, 1991, when the networks were suddenly interrupted, and I literally got to watch the beginning of a war.  It was amazing and chilling at the same time.  I kept my wits enough to jot down some details, so I could record it in my diary later.  It's one of those moments that you never forget.

Sunday, January 13, 1991

Watch the news religiously.  A feeling of great apprehension, as though something disastrous is about to happen.  As though we were standing on the edge of an abyss.  Yesterday Congress voted to back the President.  It was "the most historic day in Congress since war on Germany was declared".

5pm-- kids both asleep.  Waiting for news.

Lovely day today-- D. made breakfast, lunch at McDonalds (to Anne's delight), and then shopping (at Wal-Mart)-- shirts and pants for the children.

Nice, but still not "spring-like" out.

Chilly.

Monday, January 14, 1991

The eve of war?

I feel on pins and needles, as though some personal decision or tragedy or event were imminent. 

For weeks, then months, we have been wondering conjecturing, guessing-- Will there be war?  Will there NOT be war?

Anne Lindbergh's book, "War Within, War Without", diaries and letters during WWII are brought into sharper focus, given new meaning and definition.  It gives you more understanding of the nations' feelings, tensions, and apprehensions then.  In many ways, those same feelings are probably being repeated now.

I feel just sick thinking of all the innocent civilians, particularly the children, who may be caught up in this.

War seems to be such a hideous thing.

Tuesday, January 15, 1991

Excerpts of letters written to Lois and Janice:

"...then all this news-- War?  No war?  War?  No War?  Keeps you on pins and needles and is very unnerving (at least it is to me, is it too you too?)  I told D. this morning, about feeling in a rut, and when I stopped to think about it, I'll bet there are hundreds of thousands of US men and women in Arabia who would give anything to be here at home in a nice safe boring rut!

The news is so grim.

Here around Omaha SACS (Strategic Air Command) has beefed up security and Offut Air Force Base, and Epply Airfield too.  And the big Fort Calhoun Nuclear Power Plant has done the same too.  Reporters couldn't even get into SACS.

They say it is very dangerous for US servicemen and their families in Germany-- think of Thad and Julie and their babies!

Pan Am and TWA have cancelled most of their European flights.  Did you hear, last night, that our Coast Guard has now been put on alert to watch for any threats to our ports! 

Did you see what the biggest (and latest) sales item in Israel is?...a Plexiglas doghouse with a filter system to protect the family dog from a poison gas attack.  Of all things, did you ever?

No, nothing new here.  I've been glued to the TV during news time lately..."

"...He [John] is absolutely irresistible now.  It's hard, sometimes, to put him down and go do something I should be doing.  He loves to be played with and smiles and coos and "talks" back to you and giggles out loud.  he also growls like a little bear-- very low and sometimes loud.  It's a funny, masculine sound.  Anne can really keep him entertained for a while now.

I see you are keeping somewhat a breast of the war news.  I can't believe it.  It makes me think of how it must have been for Americans before WWII. You know, everyone talks about it, you watch the TV for news of it, it's all you see in the papers-- makes you feel saturated by it.

They really emphasize the dangers of terrorism in this country too.  I told Lois, they've warned people to be careful of places where large crowds may gather, places of finance, etc., airports particularly.

Wednesday, January 16, 1991

D. told me this morning that the president of George Hormels company has received a threat of violence against the Hormels plant here in Fremont-- they have a government contract supplying food to the American troops in Saudi Arabia.  I was not surprised.  I'd been thinking of this possibility weeks before. 

Last night on the news:  Heathrow Airport in London surrounded by army tanks and armed soldiers.  Eerie, surreal sight.

APPROXIMATELY 5:40pm...The War Has Begun!

5:40pm...American attack on Bagdad

6:00pm...Rihad (Arabia)-- sirens.  Confirmation (military) of war.

7:00pm...British are up.

7:10pm...French are up.

8:00pm...President Spoke.

 

 

Memoir: It is what it is...Vacation (June 1991)

(Saturday, June 23, 1991)

Terrible vacation.  Started out so hectic.  left at 11:30am, after spending all morning making trip after trip to the van loaded down with clothes and food and all the paraphernalia that goes with two small children.

Overcast and cool, hazy.  Stands of tall trees, mushroomed with green leaves.  John screaming in the car seat.  D won't pull over so I can take him out and nurse him, so I nurse him while he sits in the car seat! (He's sleeping now.)

Anne threw a frightful tantrum before we left.  It began in the front yard when she saw a little boy's kite.  She is transfixed with it and wants one, has talked of nothing else for two days.

Everyone piled into the van.

12:26pm...Both children resting quietly. D's mother in the last seat.  Pillows for Anne to lay her head on-- still strapped in to her youth seat, though.

2:22pm...Delicious lunch in Yankton (SD), green salad and sandwich.  The sun trying to break through now.  I changed John and fed him.  Everyone feeling much better.

 

Monday...went to Madison (SD) to Lois and Loren's. 

Different impressions:  on the way, both children sleeping in their car seats, heads tilted to the side.  D's mother in the last seat again, behind them.  Narrow, two-laned highways, occasional curves, expanses of green pastures with an occasional small herd of cattle clumped together, tails swishing away at the flies.  Clumps of trees at shelterbelts.

Lois, looking very tired around the eyes, but happy to see us.  Soft as always-- soft blond hair, soft blue eyes, soft white skin, and her lovely gentle soft voice.

Quaint house:  harmonious, something about it making me think of an earlier era-- the oval, beveled glass in the front door, the wood trim running around the living room wall a foot from the ceiling, the small rooms coming into and out of one another.

Loren and the college campus...Loren in tie and shirt.  The hum of computers, the rustic old  buildings, the beautiful library, the nudes in pencil on the wall.  Walking across campus-- tall evergreen trees and flowers and neatly mowed lawns, and I thinking the whole time of John and Anne, who were crying when we left them.  (And when we got back, they were quiet and serene and perfectly content!!)

The drive home in the evening:  lovely green fields, different shades of green, and haze and mist laying in the little valleys and shelterbelts.  A haze and far off on the horizon a lavender ridge, separated from us by vivid green valleys.  The sun going down, one minute hiding behind bands of clouds, the next emerging again, a vivid large orange, almost a Harvest Moon quality to it, lovely.  Anne enthralled.

Almost dark when we got home.  It was a beautiful drive, a lovely evening.

 

 

Aunt Laura's & Uncle Ed's:

The table was beautifully set-- dainty bowls of salads, and clear pitchers of red juice, and strong dark coffee.

Aunt Laura, immaculate as always, earrings and necklace, and white slacks, and hair freshly permed.  Uncle Ed standing at the stove stirring gravy!...tall, and his eyes bulging a bit, giving a startled look to his face.

The children were pretty good, between D and I we kept them fairly content and out of things.  It helped that Aunt Laura had the house swept almost completely clear of knick-knacks.  Anne sat up to the table and ate beautifully. I was very proud.

 

Ernie & Irene's:

Irene, nervous and shaky as usual.  The lovely living room *Cold* from the air-conditioner.  The children best kept in the kitchen.  Their German Shepherd pacing his pen.  Irene showed us the upstairs...five lovely bedrooms.  The upstairs *Very* hot.  Ernie the same as always, obviously delighted with the kids.

Roger & Debbie:

Debbie very pretty and summery looking with short, cropped hair.  her look of surprise when we drove in, red bandana on her head.

John played quietly on the living room floor with toys, Anne with Colton and Mandy (Roger & Deb's children)-- upstairs and then outside for a while.  I get Anne to come in and cool off.  My white shoes get filthy traipsing through the weeds and dirt, looking at horses and dogs!

There is very little real "girl-talk".  I am disappointed.  She talks horse with D, "man" talk, breeding and prices and sales and bloodlines, etc.  And they are going to be building a new log home and selling their farm.  So more (of what I call) "man" talk-- lots and prices and construction and pole barns, etc.

We come and go to these places so quickly, an hour and a half at each place.  I feel that a connection is barely made, something almost left incomplete when we leave.  Strange feeling.

Tom & Janice's house:

It was a 'lost' evening.  Janice had wanted us to do something as a couple and leave D's mother there with the children.  Her house is wall to wall knick-knacks and crystal!  John turned out to be crabby, and I spent the evening giving both babies their baths in her tub.  There was a gas leak, and Tom was gone downstairs with the repairman most of the time.

Almost all I can say of this visit is that we got to see Tom and Janice before we left.  I really didn't get to talk to her at all.

Vern & Tracy's:

It begins noisily.  Anne crabby and crying and wanting on my lap, John wanting on my lap to nurse at the same time!  Very, very hot.  One small fan, no windows open, no air-conditioning.  Very soon Anne's head looks as though she's had a bucket of water poured over her hair.  I suggest we go out and see Vern's new horse-- more to get some fresh air and the breeze.  Even though it's very hot outside, it's still cooler than in the house, and it perks the children up.

The horse, a lovely dainty sorrel mare.  Cows in the pen beside her, aloof.  Vern's little golf cart, shiny and silvery blue, and the plastic seat is very hot!

The visit ends too quickly, as usual, but on a pleasant note-- a lovely lunch...iced tea; potato salad; and ham sandwiches; lemon jello with pineapple; and home canned pickles; afterwards hot coffee and homemade cookies (even in the heat, Tracy's coffee was good).

I think they are remarkable, Vern and Tracy, to be 85 and 86 years old, and still so independent and healthy and active.

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This post has been taken, literally, from my diary pages, with very little or almost no editing.  It was written on the fly, at still moments during the experience, and I didn't want to lose this feeling.

 

 

Ramblings on a frickin' Rainy Afternoon

Vanity...I have to laugh; I wrote this in my diary when I was in my mid-forties:, about ten years ago:

"My mother always made it very clear to me that, whatever you look like now, you're going to look worse later.  Don't get too attached to your beauty because it's not yours to keep.  Don't go around thinking that it's some big bonus and that you can count on it."  (quote by Uma Thurman)
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That old time religion...(written 6 years ago):

I feel awash in "witchiness".  In bottles of herbs, and oils, and potions, and stones, and candles, and  brooms, and cats, and incense, and tarot cards, and athames...I feel like I could straddle a broom and take off in flight.
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Physical desire..."The person who discovers what the 'trigger' for this is, what drives two people out of millions together, will be a very wealthy person indeed."

(Talk about 'magic'-- I do believe this is one of the most magical things of all.  When you're with the right person, it feels all consuming and uncontrollable...thinking of my sweet Joe, of course.  I don't believe I was truly alive until he first touched me.)
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Thoughts for today (this frickin' rainy day):

I am amazed at...

...the dignity of this man, my man, cloaked for so long in a different life, resurrected through his own personal strength and will.  He is an inspiration on so many levels, though I doubt that he realizes it.

...the coldness of winter, the relief of spring.

...how many sweet things I can eat in a day.

...how stupid people can be, how judgmental, how transparent.  They come and they go; they are by your side one moment and talking about you in some dark corner the next.  They profess undying friendship one day and cut you off cold the next.  They turn tables so fast it makes your head spin, and it is also funny-- I see the humor in it even if no one else does, so do my kids:  "But they didn't even like M.!", the girls say incredulously.

...the newborn kittens-- newborn anything, really.  It has its own scent, its own feel, its own sound.

...the power of true love to revitalize and rejuvenate.

...how much you can miss one person, even though you'll be reunited in a matter of hours.

...how truly conservative I am, in spite of my spiritual path and beliefs, in spite of my adamant feminism-- I find myself content to wash his clothes, serve him coffee in bed, see to his needs, hang on his every word, arrange my daily schedule around him, wait for him to come home at night, and relish the moment when he takes me in his arms and calls me 'his baby'. (*sigh*...damn Cinderella and Snow White...*smiling sweetly*)

...how much of a procrastinator I am-- and with this last thought I'm going to stop, get off my ass, and do what I should be doing around here, like...um, cleaning out the downstairs cubby, baking banana bread, and doing someone's tarot reading.

Warmest Regards to whomever is reading this--

I dare you to leave me a note so I know who you are *wicked grin*