Is it emotional abuse when your partner threatens to leave you?

 

The short answer:  Yes, it is emotional abuse.

"Threatening to leave someone isn’t just a red flag, it’s a form of emotional abuse and a reason to rethink a relationship. Sadly, not only lovers threaten to break things off. It might be your parents, siblings, or friends who engage in such destructive behavior."

The Source for this post:

To read this article in its entirety, click  HERE

 Insider lists threatening your partner you’ll leave among the "7 red-flag phrases that could mean it's time to break up with you partner".  They add:  

The only time you should hear the words “it’s over” should be when the relationship is really and truly over.” 

If your partner is invoking a “break-up” or threatening to end it with you over a simple argument, they’re willing to make you feel unsafe in the relationship. They are showing you that they don’t care if they hurt you or risk you saying, “Okay yeah, we are over,” as long as they get the upper hand.”

Reasons Why Someone Threatens to Break Up With You

• 1.  The Brinkmanship Game

“Brinkmanship" foreign policy practice in which one or both parties force the interaction between them to the threshhold of confrontation in order to gain an advantageous negotiation position over the other. The technique is characterized by aggressive risk-taking policy choices that court potential disaster.” — Britannia

• 2.  The insecure lover

Maybe they are the more insecure lover. Have you ever thought about that possibility? I bet you haven’t because it isn’t easy to accept that your rock might be as soft as chewing gum. They might be more insecure about your relationship than you are, and their insecurities might trigger their “toxic” behavior.

• 3.  Not in it for the right reasons

Maybe the reasoning behind your relationship might be different for the two of you. While you are in for the long run and think you have finally found your soulmate, they might hang on to you for mediocre reasons such as sex or company. An honest discussion might help and solve this issue.

• 4.  Maybe it’s you

Alright, that’s a bold statement, but since you are here to discover the truth behind the question, you should also listen to the ugly parts. What do I mean when I suggest it is you? Well, maybe you might not meet their basic needs. Your perceptions of a relationship, or of the amount of intimacy you share, can be different. But it’s not just about sex. There are many other things on the line like respect, personal freedom, or your ability to listen that might not be up to their standards.

Nevertheless, threatening to break up is a toxic habit.  We don’t only see it on TV, but also experience it in real life. Threats like the one of a break-up often appear with other habits of emotional abuse. They don’t only “prevent communication” but they also “escalate conflicts”.

“Threatening to break up, divorce, withhold love, deny sex, or anything else along those lines sends a message to your partner that you are not committed to the relationship. That kind of manipulation pushes the other person out the proverbial relationship door. This includes veiled threats.  

Furthermore, making a threat can back you into a corner and make you feel that you have to follow through, even if you don’t want to.” — Instyle