Tarot Parlour Podcast ~ Don't be rushed into a decision

 

Today's reading is full of on the spot intuitive perceptions and advice. Welcome to Arizona and my home. In the quiet, amidst the calls of birds today, we dive into a grid of cards and explore relationships, personal connections, decisions, and life. If you enjoy this video, or find it helpful, please be sure to Like & Subscribe so that other people can find it too.

 

Emotional Cheating ~ 10 signs that's what you're doing

 

How do you know if you are "emotionally cheating" on your partner?  Honestly, I would've thought that the individual who is doing this would have some idea, but I've done quite a bit of reading on this topic preparing for this post, and actually, there can be quite a bit of denial going on when someone is involved emotionally.  You'll hear a lot of "we're just friends", which is either overly-stated to convince themselves, or to convince their partner.

I found a very good article on this topic, and I'm going to just post the 10 signs right off the bat, and then we'll briefly explore the rest of it.  You'll find the original source for this information at the bottom of this post, which also contains links to other topics, as well as a link to a behavioral health specialist. This post will also be added to a collective post at this blog filled with links to a variety of relationship issues, as well as some posts that are focused on the more positive aspects of relationships, promise.  The collective post...  click HERE

If anyone has a particular issue or topic that you would like to see at my blog, whether relating to relationships, tarot, spirituality, paganism, etc., send your question or suggestion to my email: witch_of_endore@yahoo.com

Top Ten Signs of Emotional Cheating

 

• You share things with the other person that you haven’t shared with your partner.
• You confide in the other person about your relationship troubles.
• You’ve become more detached and emotionally disconnected from your partner.
• You think about the other person all the time.
• You are less intimate with your partner.
• You lie to your partner about your relationship with the other person.
• You compare the other person to your partner.
• You fantasize romantically or dream about the other person.
• You hide or delete texts or emails on your phone, computer, etc.
• You become defensive and sensitive when your partner questions your relationship with the other person.

What to do about emotional cheating?

If you identify with some of the signs of emotional cheating, how do you begin to address them? 

• Be honest with yourself.

Acknowledge that you’re becoming emotionally involved with someone other than your partner.

• End the emotional affair.

To bring yourself back to the reality of your relationship with your partner, break off the relationship completely, rather than setting boundaries to continue this relationship.

• Reflect on what is missing in your current relationship.

Identify what you were getting from this other person that you weren’t getting in your current relationship. You may even want to involve a licensed behavioral health specialist to help.

• Discuss your emotional needs and reasons with your partner.

Whether or not you decide to let your partner know about your emotional affair, you do need to let your partner know that your relationship needs work. You might be surprised to find that they feel the same way. Be open and clear about what you both need in your relationship – emotionally, physically and intellectually—then make each other’s needs a priority.

• Recommit to your relationship.

Agree on dedicated time together. Be supportive of one another. Check in with your partner regularly and communicate what’s happening in your life. Enjoy dates with each other and find new ways to have fun together.

Source:
bannerhealthcare.com

For the complete post 
& helpful links:

click  HERE

Your Daily Cards ~ updated @ The Witch's Corner

 

I Updated “Your Daily Cards”, found in the right side-bar at The Witch’s Corner, if you’re viewing on your phone, you need to click on “view web version”…
https://amythystraine.blogspot.com/

YOUR DAILY CARDS:

Welcome, visitors, to The Witch’s Corner. The reading found here is created specifically for this space and for you. If you have stumbled upon this humble little sidebar and this reading, be assured that it was Spirit’s intent that you find it.

The cards: King/swords; The Empress; 4/cups; 9/wands; Temperance (the deck, Vintage Tarot)

And the story continues ~ There is a definite change of plans for an unexpected future

 

Yesterday I laid a group of cards and got the frame work for their story, you'll find that here, in this blog post:

These Cards Need Time to Flesh Out Their Story

The story continues to unfold:

There's someone who's been very focused on a specific very complex and involved goal, so much so that they sort of have tunnel vision about it, this goal possibly centers around education and work.  They know that they need this kind of focus and dedication to make this happen and reach this new plateau.

What's happened, or about to happen in their life, is totally unplanned, it's not something they intended to happen or even thought about at this point in time.  This is just something that the universe sort of drops on them unexpectedly, something totally out of the blue.  (Cupid does that, you know, you have no intention of meeting anyone, or falling in love, or becoming involved, and then -- bang -- there you are).

There's still the idea of something happening very fast, accelerated energy all around, a whirlwind still; and this time the cards are telling me that this is all driven by passion, and someone speaking their truth, either to someone else, or to themselves, or to both.  It's an "aha" moment of clarity and realization.

And this does indeed change everything.  The future is spinning, realigning itself; there is a change of plans.

There's still lots of decisions to be made, but the cards are telling me that they're no longer being made for one person by one person.  These plans involve two people now.  Groundwork is being laid for the future.

These Cards Need Time to Flesh Out Their Story

 

I just laid these cards very early this morning, when I was finished watering the flowers, and I was hot and sweaty from being outside in this dark, barely light, overcast, 90+ degree morning.  And here they are.  As I turned each one, I spoke its message out loud, doing my "scratchings" in my notebook, as I usually do, so the story already has a frame.

Today I'll give you a picture of the cards and the "outline" of their story, those first words that came to me with each card.  Then I'll let the cards lay, as along as it takes, so they can tell their story, so they can give us a more complete picture.

8/pentacles:  someone at work

The Fool:  the beginning of something new

Ace/cups:  a relationship

Knight/swords:  happens fast, a whirlwind

Wheel of Fortune:  changes everything

7/cups:  a lot of decisions to make

I can't wait to hear more of the story.  If this resonates with you, keep thinking about it, the universe (and spirit) will connect the dots, just like magic, works every time.

EDIT: 07-23-22

The story continues to unfold:

There's someone who's been very focused on a specific very complex and involved goal, so much so that they sort of have tunnel vision about it, this goal possibly centers around education and work.  They know that they need this kind of focus and dedication to make this happen and reach this new plateau.

What's happened, or about to happen in their life, is totally unplanned, it's not something they intended to happen or even thought about at this point in time.  This is just something that the universe sort of drops on them unexpectedly, something totally out of the blue.  (Cupid does that, you know, you have no intention of meeting anyone, or falling in love, or becoming involved, and then -- bang -- there you are).

There's still the idea of something happening very fast, accelerated energy all around, a whirlwind still; and this time the cards are telling me that this is all driven by passion, and someone speaking their truth, either to someone else, or to themselves, or to both.  It's an "aha" moment of clarity and realization.

And this does indeed change everything.  The future is spinning, realigning itself; there is a change of plans.

There's still lots of decisions to be made, but the cards are telling me that they're no longer being made for one person by one person.  These plans involve two people now.  Groundwork is being laid for the future.

This outcome also appears in a new blog post:

And the story continues: there is a definite change of plans

Your Questions: Will he come home to me and his kids and find peace within himself?

 

     

Before we start...

Let's talk about "the future"...

Our future is not set in stone, it's fluid, and it keeps evolving according to choices that we make and directions that we take. Always remember this, that whatever answer you are given with any form of divination, there is always the probability that people's decisions and deliberate changes that they make in their lives, or ideas, or plans can alter the future. So often people seem to resign themselves to a divination outcome as being the last and final word on what's going to happen in their life. It is not. It only shows you a picture of how things are NOW, at this moment.

• With that said, let's see what the cards have to tell us

Your Question:

Will he come home to me and his kids and find peace within himself?

The Answer:

At this time, there is something unresolved.  This is something that needs to be taken care of before anything can proceed and everyone can move forward.   If it's not addressed and the issue fixed, nothing will change.

The King of Wands is usually all about control, but this King has apparently connected with a more fluid, gregarious, wild-side.  When this happens to someone, it usually means that not only will thier behavior and patterns abruptly change, they will be learning new things about themselves and the world around them as well.  It's a time of discovery; it's a learning experience.  And quite frankly, it has it's moments of delight and wonder.

With the idea of "limbo" that this man and yourself are caught in at the moment, there seems to be a total turn about, a different direction to dreams and goals and wishes.  I get the feeling that what someone thought they wanted might not be what they actually want anymore.  

There is the idea of someone finding balance and seeking enlightenment.  The cards are telling me that this man may be trying very hard right now to find this balance in life and enlightenment that will change his future.  It feels as though he is standing on a threshold. Sometimes this is a solo journey, and sometimes this is a journey that is taken with a kindred spirit.

Tarot

Your Questions

(free mini-readings)

*Note: Please don't give me any information surrounding your question, that makes my job harder. I prefer to go into a reading with no information and let the cards tell their story.

I'm going to continue a practice I started a while back. If you have a question that you would like me to answer anonymously in a tarot video, email me at --witch_of_endore@yahoo.com -- and there will be a chance that I could select your question. I can't promise to answer every request that comes in, but I'll do my best.

Of course, your question may be very personal, and it will be answered with complete anonymity. It's almost a sure thing that as personal as a question will be, there's no doubt that it may also have a universal appeal and could help other people in a similar situation.

[EDIT] I've had several people inquire if they can ask me any type of question, not just a personal tarot question for themselves. That would be fine, ask away, whether it's tarot related or not. If there's something that you're curious about, if there's something you've always wanted to know, whether related to tarot, spirituality, witchcraft, wicca, magic, or something else that you've been wondering about. Send me your question at my email: witch_of_endore@yahoo.com, and there may be a chance that I'll select your question for a video.

Your Questions: Will I have a relationship with my ex-girlfriend again this year?

 

Your Questions ~ free mini-reading

I'm going to start off first by addressing the idea of being "friends with benefits" with an ex, and this is coming, not from the cards, but from my own observations and experiences over the past 65 years.

Frankly, this doesn't work; this never works.  This is an awful idea.  You're either in a relationship together, or you are not.  Keeping one foot in and one foot out of a relationship creates a state of "limbo".  

First, I have never seen such an arrangement with an ex-romantic partner where the emotions and feelings, the memories, and the original connection can just be put aside.  It's not humanly possible for most people to lay these emotions down and focus solely on the animalistic function of sex with an ex-partner, someone we loved, and someone that we probably still have feelings for even if we don't admit it, even to ourselves.  Human beings aren't wired that way.  From an evolutionary standpoint, we're inclined to create meaningful, sentimental, and deep emotional connections that will keep us together to raise children and grandchildren -- and even when this doesn't work, or isn't realistic, we keep trying to do it anyway.

With this scenario -- "friends with benefits", one or both of the partners may have in the back of their mind that there will be a second chance, that the lost relationship can be revived, that there is the possibility of a new future together.  It's keeping hope alive, sometimes quite unrealistically.  It can be creating a fantasy that is fed with each physical connection.

This arrangement also prevents people from moving forward with their lives.  It prevents people from finding and connecting successfully with a new partner.  And if the couple are not only clinging to this old sexual relationship, but also trying to bring new partners into the mix at the same time -- whether openly, or in secret -- it opens a whole new can of worms.  Most individuals are not going to want to start a relationship with someone who is still closely tied to their ex, and especially when this still includes a physical relationship.  It's too crowded, it's an invasion of personal space.

Let's talk about "the future"...

Our future is not set in stone, it's fluid, and it keeps evolving according to choices that we make and directions that we take.  Always remember this, that whatever answer you are given with any form of divination, there is always the probability that people's decisions and deliberate changes that they make in their lives, or ideas, or plans can alter the future.  So often people seem to resign themselves to a divination outcome as being the last and final word on what's going to happen in their life.  It is not.  It only shows you a picture of how things are NOW, at this moment.

• And now that we've got that out of the way, let's see what the cards have to say about it:

What the cards are telling me at this moment, as shown with the five of cups, which I drew as I was asking your question out loud:  

Will I have a relationship with my ex-girlfriend again this year?  

No, there does not appear to be another relationship with this ex-partner occurring during this year.

The cards drawn for this reading are amazingly similar to a general reading I did that pointed to a relationship where one party was going to be able to move on fairly easily, with an optimistic outlook for the future; and the other partner was stuck in the past, shackled to all kinds of negative emotions and thoughts.  You might want to check this reading out, just in case there is a connection, on any level, here for you.

The cards I laid for you today speak of great change and transformations coming, and some of them may come with little or no warning.  The cards also speak of an intense voyeur to all of this, perhaps a third party -- another romantic interest, a sibling, or friend who has some sort of vested interest in the outcome between you and your ex-girlfriend.

The final thought I'm pulling here, is once you get past and accept the idea of a conclusion to this connection, you may discover a renewed enthusiasm for some things in life that you have been neglecting.  Once a final decision has been made and the emotional and physical cords cut, you may also (much to your surprise) experience a feeling of freedom and lightheartedness. I don't think you realize how heavy and preoccupied the energy around you is at this time.

The Anatomy of a Tarot Reading

 

My Notes & Scratchings (automatic writing):

King/pentacles:

Someone "at the top" or "behind the scenes".

One part of a couple attempting to move on from a relationship, the other partner trying to hold them back.

The Tower (reversed):

Causing a fiasco, or directing a fiasco.

It upended something previously stable.

He's good at manifesting what he wants/He's good at making you believe he can manifest what YOU want.

Ten/wands (reversed):

Either feeling no sense of responsibility, or avoiding or passing off responsibility.

Contact and interaction with him will lead to huge and unexpected changes in your life.

The Magician & Death

Someone is working so hard to manifest change, and someone else is trying so hard to hold them back.

This is the tale of a couple, most likely a married couple that is no more.  The cards don't tell me specifically about their life together, because that's no longer the point.  What's past is water under the bridge.  The point is the here and now, the point is their separation, or their divorce, and the energy and interactions that are happening as we speak.

One party is calmly trying to pick up the pieces and move on constructively, in anticipation of building a new life with new beginnings and new opportunities.  There is a hopeful feeling of looking to the future, an excitement about new things "right around the corner".  This individual is infused with the bright energy of "happiness in the face of great change".  The ultimate optimist.

The other party to this couple is seething, angry, steeped in jealousy, regret, the loss of control.  This person is not looking to the future but is stuck in the past, thinking over all the "what if's", seeking vainly for answers and miracles that could fix what's broken, looking for ways to keep their former partner in a state of limbo.  And in this energy, this person feels they can keep the future at bay.  They seriously believe this.  It feels so dark, so dark that it goes beyond the idea of a pessimist.

• The cards are giving me this advice:

To the optimist:  detach completely from your former partner, their connection is poisonous and will only prevent you from rebuilding your life and finding new happiness.  Focus on YOU.  Focus on your plans and goals and dreams, and make practical preparations to carry you through to all these things.  It's okay for you to be happy.  It's okay for you to feel positive about your future, as you should.  Leave all negativity behind and follow the sunshine... you deserve it.

To the King of Pentacles:  seek therapy.  You need to talk to someone.  You need to talk to someone to regain a healthy focus on your life and the situation that you're in now.  You need to talk to someone who can help you work through all these negative feelings that will hold you back and prevent you from building a new and healthy life for yourself.  You need to talk to someone who can teach you how to get in touch with positive energy.  You need to leave the darkness behind... and you need to leave your former partner alone.

The Story Finally Had to be Told

 

These cards have been laying on the table beside my computer for days.  Sometimes, when I've sat down, I would pick a notebook up and jot down impressions from the cards.  I did this two or three times, until a story started to unfold.

The story is about a couple, a young couple it seems, and how a jealous bystander, whether in the form of a "friend", sibling, colleague, etc., played into the near destruction of their incredible connection.  No matter how strong a couple thinks they are, repeated and malicious invasive thoughts in the guise of "advice" from an outsider can chip away at the strongest foundations.  It's a mind game, and it's insidious.

The couple were, of course, affected by the negativity of this individual and the insipid cloying conversations that ensued in the guise of good advice, and things this person "just thought you should know" -- no matter how false and fabricated the stories.

And the really vicious thing about it is this individual was apparently befriending both parties separately, worming their way in as a confidant and sounding board, someone with a shoulder to lean on, someone who (or so the individuals thought) had their best interest and the interest of the relationship at heart.  (So untrue, all of it, the only thing this poisonous connection wanted was to ruin something because it was beautiful and amazing and they didn't have one like it.)

There's people out there like that, you know, as much as we might not want to believe it, or think about it.

I'm not sure what turned events around, what opened this couples eyes to the truth and to each other, what betrayed the wolf in sheep's clothing, what exposed the jealous plot to divide this couple.  Who saw it first; how did they approach this individual, if at all; how did they come to a joint realization that they were actually on the same page and didn't need any outside assistance to maintain their relationship, thank you.

I don't have that information.  The cards wouldn't tell me this.  But that's okay, I don't need to know.  The cards showed me the end of the story, the good part, the happy ever after ending, the ending that gives credence to loyalty and forever-love and magical life connections.

The couple survived this onslaught, and I'm sure that they learned much from this experience, and needless to say, this will probably never happen to them again, because now they are "aware", and once you "know", you can never "unknow".

True love prevails... it's true, it really does.

The Dominant Relationship ~ Your Mother or Your Spouse

 
Good morning, World! Here's our cards for today and a very important question/issue for someone out there. So, which is it? Always remember, tomorrow's a new day, changes can be made, boundaries drawn, things done differently. It's never too late to turn over a new leaf.

#tarot #divination #cartomancy #dailycards #intuitivereadings #psychicreadings #relationships #family #couples #lifecoaching #inspiration #advice

So Personal ~ At the end of the day...

 

The cards are being very precise and personal this morning and focusing on an issue that is very close to the heart.  I have no idea who this reading is for, but I also have no doubt that you will definitely know if it is you.

At the center of this situation is an older male, feels like a father or father figure, and a younger individual, could be either male or female, but my feeling is that there is a deep familial connection between these two, and it isn't always smooth.  Much head-butting and arguments here, but then, they feel incredibly alike, so that's understandable.

At the center of the latest confrontation lay:  1) a decision and 2) a new relationship that has some pitfalls and drawbacks, or baggage, connected to it 3) big changes, or something coming to a completion -- or both.

So, younger person, are you going to listen to the pros and cons (probably mostly cons) from your elder?  And elder, are you going to listen to the pros and cons (probably mostly pros) from your young person?

I feel that the important issue in this group of cards is not the new relationship or any final decisions being made about it; the important issue is the relationship between father and child.

Spirit is advising that you do not let decisions and disagreements (and stubbornness) in this physical world of man destroy a soul connection that is eternal.

• To the elder:  their decision may be a mistake (and it may not be), but if it is they will learn from it and move on.  This may be something that they are suppose to experience in order to learn and progress.

• To the youngster:  it's difficult being a parent and setting free the small child (that you will always be in their mind and memory) and allowing them to go down a path that they feel is wrought with difficulty.  All parents want to spare their children from experiencing unpleasantness.

At the end of the day, give each other a hug and persevere.

Two Video Readings ~ 1) Meet the Scheister (hang onto your money) & 2) To a Couple (get on the same page)

 

Meet the Scheister

To a Couple: 

Today's early morning readings are full of on the spot intuitive perceptions and advice. Welcome to Arizona and my home. This morning we dive into a grid of cards and explore relationships, finances, personal connections, and life. If you enjoy this video, or find it helpful, please be sure to Like & Subscribe so that other people can find it too. 

And if you haven't already purchased my new book, The Little Handbook of Spiritual Awakening, you can do that using the link below. If the Spirit moves you, leave a brief book review or a few words at Amazon, that would be amazing! Please and thank you in advance! My book, The Little Handbook of Spiritual Awakening, is up at Amazon and available for purchase. Follow this link:

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The Soul Mate/Twin Flame Thing ~ Clarification, and did you meet yours yet?

 

So have you met your soul  mate, or more than one of them, since apparently you can have more than one.  Or have you met your twin flame, and apparently you only have one of these, and thank gawds, because they don't necessarily sound very fun -- kind of a troubled, on again/off again relationship with lots of static and issues.

I don't know if I've met my soul mate yet or not, and I guess this statement would leave me to think that I probably haven't, and who knows if we all do.  Maybe some of us don't.  I know I haven't met a twin flame yet, because I've never met anyone I've broken up with or divorced and with whom I would want to reconnect, but I do know a couple people who have done this, my grandmother is one of them, and from my vantage point it looks pretty messed up to me, the stuff of mental turmoil and drama, maybe that's what these people thrive on.

Anyway, I'm trying to figure this all out, just like all of you, and I find it the stuff of fascinating legends and myth.  I happened upon the following article, and let's see if this one presents a clearer picture than I've seen before.  

However you look at it, soul mates and twin flames are a mystery, and we all love a good mystery.

The source for this post:

theverygirl.com
author: Beth Gillette

click HERE

Have you ever met someone and immediately knew they were meant to be in your life? Maybe talking to them felt like talking to an old friend, even though you’d just met, or maybe you suddenly couldn’t picture a future without them in it. Not to get all woo-woo on you, but it might not just be your imagination. You might have met your soulmate, or twin flame: someone who’s intertwined with your soul. So, what does it mean if you didn’t feel this cosmic connection with your partner? First, let’s get into the difference.

• What is a Soulmate?

To put it simply, soulmates are two souls that are destined to be together. But don’t get it twisted: Your soulmate can be platonic too (I stand by that because Charlotte, Miranda, Carrie, and Samantha are each others’ soulmates!). You and your soulmate might meet and click automatically (like your work-wife-turned-BFF). “A soulmate is a person you feel so connected to that the relationship runs smoothly because of the strong bond and compatibility,” said Dr. Mya Bellinger, a medical practitioner who specializes in internal medicine.

A soulmate connection will pale in comparison to other relationships you’ve had in the past. A soul mate connection will often feel very easy because you two souls will always find a way to compromise and make your relationship work. “It is with the soulmate that you finally start to ask genuine questions about yourself and love, you begin to face the answers that you’ve been avoiding, and you grow,” said Celebrity Love Architect Kailen Rosenberg.

You have many soulmates out there, so your best friend, sibling, and partner could all be soulmate connections.

• How do I know when I’ve met my soulmate?

A soulmate connection will feel easy and expand your greatness. It might feel too good to be true, especially if relationships in the past have felt like a full-time job trying to understand each other. You might feel like you’ve known them your whole life, even if you just met, and you might be more vulnerable than you’ve ever been before.

• What is a Twin Flame?

On the other hand:  "A Twin flame is a kind of relationship where the same soul is cut in two, or a mirror of each other,” said Samantha Moss, editor & content ambassador at Romantific. “This is one soul that shares an intense connection because they mirror each other’s weaknesses, emotional damages, and insecurities.” So, if you wondered why Taylor Swift called J*ke Gyll*nh*al her twin flame in “All Too Well (10-Minute Version),” now you know. Your twin flame isn’t always your perfect match because you two can bring out negative sides of each other.  However, twin flames often learn a lot from each other.

Because these relationships can be so transforming, some experts believe you can’t meet your soulmate without having learned the necessary lessons from a twin flame connection first.

But what if you’re dating and in love with your twin flame? Don’t panic. Twin flames teach us a lot about ourselves, and when aligned, you can also bring out the best in each other. These relationships might not come with as much ease as a soulmate connection, but you can end up extremely happy with your twin flame for the rest of your life.

• How Do I Know When I've Met My Twin Flame?

Did you ever meet someone and wonder how you could possibly be so alike? A twin flame is like a mirror version of yourself. You may be surprised by how similar you are and how natural conversation feels.

But if you haven’t met your twin flame yet, don’t feel like you need to plan a cross-country road trip in search of them. Not everyone will have a twin flame, and that’s OK, it just makes finding your soulmate that much easier.

 

• What’s the Difference Between a Soulmate and a Twin Flame?

While they share similarities, you’ll feel like you were destined to meet them and they can both bring a lot of healing and growth to your life, they’re also very different connections. The main difference is that while your twin flame is two halves of the same soul, soulmates are two souls that belong together. Because of this, twin flames aren’t always your perfect match in terms of romantic relationships or friendships, whereas once soulmate connections meet, it’s difficult to ever imagine them apart. “A twin flame relationship is meant to challenge us in order to get you closer to the best version of yourself,” said Amy Javier, Intuitive Wellness Guide.

If you’re looking for long-lasting committed romantic love, you’ll find that with your soulmate. Javier explained that unlike twin flames, soulmates are a “reflection of all your great qualities.” While you can end up with your twin flame, a romantic soulmate connection is more likely to last long term.

In this vein, the same person cannot be your soulmate and twin flame. You also can meet many soulmates in your lifetime, but you only have one twin flame.

 

• Should I Be With My Twin Flame or Soulmate?

One connection isn’t necessarily “better” than the other, as both can lead you to grow and can have long-term success. This all depends on how you’re looking to grow and the work you’ve already done. Twin flames can be more intense and chaotic, but they teach us a lot about ourselves. Maybe you had a whirlwind romance in your early 20s that taught you how to love and broke your heart into a million pieces, and now you’re dating in your 30s, ready to meet your soulmate. Perhaps you just ended a long-term relationship and are looking for an intense kind of love that will change your life. Platonically, a twin flame could be the toxic best friend that turned everything between you two into a competition, or it could be your sibling who feels like your other half. It truly all depends on where you’ve been and where you’re going. 

• What If I’m Non-Monogamous?

The idea of soulmates and twin flames in relationships is antiquated for some, as it entirely relies on monogamy to work. The concept that there’s one single person out there for everyone goes against all the various types of relationships people may have, especially those who practice ethical non-monogamy and polyamory.

• How Do I Find Mine?

Don’t put too much pressure on finding your soulmate or twin flame, as they will come naturally into your life. “The point of understanding both types is not to seek out these types in romantic relationships, but to allow yourself to vibrate at a level that encourages your connection with someone who matches that vibration,” said Rev. Lisann Valentin, shamanic amplifier and intuitive coach.

Valentin explained that you’re a magnet for your twin flame and soulmate connections, but you have to do the self-love work to get there. “Trust that your light will act as a beacon to bring you whatever experience your soul calls for... be it a soulmate, or your twin flame.”

Are You Spiritually Connected to Your Partner ~ here's 7 signs you are

• 1. Your instincts work at their best

You just know this person is right for you. There’s no reason for it. You simply know it and there’s no room for any doubt. When you are spiritually connected with someone, your instinct works well, and you don’t have any logical reason for it.

• 2. You feel extremely secure, both emotionally and physically

When you are spiritually connected with someone, their presence calms you. All your anxiety, nervousness, and fears go away in their presence. You feel safe when they are around, and you feel like you can take over the world with them by your side. Their presence alone makes you feel calm and peaceful.

• 3. You feel liberated around them

You find a free flow of expression whenever you are with them. There’s no restlessness in you.  Nothing holds you back. There’s an immense sense of liberation within you, and you feel free to be whomever you truly are.

• 4. You feel you have known them since ages, even if you have met recently

Their presence strikes a chord in you. It occurs to you that you have known them in a previous life, and it’s quite unbelievable for you that the two of you have only recently met. There’s some sort of familiarity in them which draws you closer to them and makes you feel you are spiritually connected with them.

• 5. You trust them blindly

You don’t even blink an eye before trusting them. You just know that they are the ones you should be trusting, and not just because you are drawn to them, but also because they are good and trustworthy people. There is something about them that always makes you believe them, and you feel that if you can’t trust them, you can’t trust anybody.

• 6. You communicate in silence

Silence is one of the ways the two of you communicate. When you are with someone you are spiritually connected with, you don’t need to express your joy, or anxiety, or fear. They are empathically aware of how you feel. They understand your moods and reciprocate, and they know exactly what to do to make you feel better.

• 7. You have deep conversations with them

Conversations with them are never shallow. You always explore your inner self when you are with them. When you are spiritually connected with someone, you have deep conversations, each one of which ends in an increase in your knowledge of yourself and the world around you. Every conversation with them is enriching, eye-opening, and emotionally and intellectually stimulating.

SOURCE:

themindsjournal.com
author:  Emilia Gordon

To read the complete article,

click  HERE

The Spirits Speak ~ Should you take this relationship to the next level?

 

• (2/cups; The Hermit; Ace/pentacles -- extra cards: 4/wands -- reversed; 5/swords -- reversed)
  
  

There's a significant relationship choice or decision here.  A unique opportunity is presenting itself, and if you're not afraid to give up your stubborn independence, you may be contemplating something, something that's possibly been on your mind for quite some time.  You've been mulling this over in your head, quite a bit actually, okay -- obsessively then, you know you have. 

The question is: Should you take this relationship to the next level?  

The big question is: Should you propose?

Some of you might find yourselves conflicted when it comes to the answers.  For a few of you, it's because you hesitate to give up your independence and the solitude that you can rightfully still claim for periods of time.  For others, there are issues within the relationship that need clarifying, issues that need to be resolved before you take the next step, issues that, so far, have been heavy on your mind, but remain unspoken.

It's time to speak up.

Is it emotional abuse when your partner threatens to leave you?

 

The short answer:  Yes, it is emotional abuse.

"Threatening to leave someone isn’t just a red flag, it’s a form of emotional abuse and a reason to rethink a relationship. Sadly, not only lovers threaten to break things off. It might be your parents, siblings, or friends who engage in such destructive behavior."

The Source for this post:

To read this article in its entirety, click  HERE

 Insider lists threatening your partner you’ll leave among the "7 red-flag phrases that could mean it's time to break up with you partner".  They add:  

The only time you should hear the words “it’s over” should be when the relationship is really and truly over.” 

If your partner is invoking a “break-up” or threatening to end it with you over a simple argument, they’re willing to make you feel unsafe in the relationship. They are showing you that they don’t care if they hurt you or risk you saying, “Okay yeah, we are over,” as long as they get the upper hand.”

Reasons Why Someone Threatens to Break Up With You

• 1.  The Brinkmanship Game

“Brinkmanship" foreign policy practice in which one or both parties force the interaction between them to the threshhold of confrontation in order to gain an advantageous negotiation position over the other. The technique is characterized by aggressive risk-taking policy choices that court potential disaster.” — Britannia

• 2.  The insecure lover

Maybe they are the more insecure lover. Have you ever thought about that possibility? I bet you haven’t because it isn’t easy to accept that your rock might be as soft as chewing gum. They might be more insecure about your relationship than you are, and their insecurities might trigger their “toxic” behavior.

• 3.  Not in it for the right reasons

Maybe the reasoning behind your relationship might be different for the two of you. While you are in for the long run and think you have finally found your soulmate, they might hang on to you for mediocre reasons such as sex or company. An honest discussion might help and solve this issue.

• 4.  Maybe it’s you

Alright, that’s a bold statement, but since you are here to discover the truth behind the question, you should also listen to the ugly parts. What do I mean when I suggest it is you? Well, maybe you might not meet their basic needs. Your perceptions of a relationship, or of the amount of intimacy you share, can be different. But it’s not just about sex. There are many other things on the line like respect, personal freedom, or your ability to listen that might not be up to their standards.

Nevertheless, threatening to break up is a toxic habit.  We don’t only see it on TV, but also experience it in real life. Threats like the one of a break-up often appear with other habits of emotional abuse. They don’t only “prevent communication” but they also “escalate conflicts”.

“Threatening to break up, divorce, withhold love, deny sex, or anything else along those lines sends a message to your partner that you are not committed to the relationship. That kind of manipulation pushes the other person out the proverbial relationship door. This includes veiled threats.  

Furthermore, making a threat can back you into a corner and make you feel that you have to follow through, even if you don’t want to.” — Instyle

When Does Flirting Become Cheating ~ 9 red flags

 

• A Note from The Boundary Fairy:  

It’s hard to believe that there are people who really don’t understand these boundaries, but there are. So to those people, and to uncomfortable or suspicious spouses/partners, here’s some confirmation that you have a right to be giving your better half the stink eye.

SOURCE: 

Read the complete article at this link.

https://www.livescience.com/15015-flirting-cheating-red-flags.html

• 1. When it's secretive.

If you are deleting your emails — either to a second party or from a second party — that's a red flag. Because by deleting them, you are guessing that your spouse/partner would be upset if they read them, and that you are covering up something. 

Moreover, ask yourself this question: How would I feel if I knew my spouse (or partner) were corresponding to an attractive person in the way I talk to X?  

If you feel an uncomfortable knot in your stomach upon answering that question, there you go.

• 2. If it has a sexual agenda.

This isn't always obvious, of course. But if you notice that your correspondence with this person feeds your sexual fantasies (because an affair is often about sexual fantasy), then you are probably in dangerous waters. If the communication consists of subtle sexual overtones, watch out. 

If it feels like foreplay in anyway, that’s not good.

• 3. If you're spending a considerable amount of time talking to him (her).

According to marriage therapist Allyson P., a person needs to consider not only the content of the messages sent back and forth but also the amount of them. For example, if you are emailing a "friend" 15 times a day, that's a tad extreme, even if the content is about SpongeBob Square-Pants. 

A friend of mine confessed to me that she would spend two hours every night on Facebook chatting with an online buddy until she realized that was more time than she was spending with her husband.

• 4. If you are rationalizing.

"They are just a friend" is a statement that you don't say to yourself when you're involved in innocent communication. Do you feel the need to justify a very safe friendship? No. It's obvious to you and to your mate that the companionship is completely appropriate. 

However, you may very well be investing in an unsafe friendship if you are constantly wrestling with guilt or feel the need to rationalize.

• 5. If it's meeting your personal needs.

If you are getting your intimacy needs met in an online relationship or with a co-worker with whom you playfully banter, you might stop to ask yourself why. Be especially careful if you’re sharing intimate sentiments with that person that you don’t share with your spouse/partner, or if you feel like your online companion understands you in a way that your spouse/partner doesn't. Be on guard if you are receiving satisfaction from this person in any way that you don't at home.

• 6. If you talk about your marriage or your spouse.

It's disrespectful to share intimate details about your marriage/relationship or your spouse/partner, and especially in a discourteous manner or with a flippant attitude. Imagine that your spouse/partner were overhearing your entire conversation. Would you still say it?

• 7. If your spouse doesn't like it.

You have just won a red flag if a spouse or partner has expressed disapproval of your communication with X, because it usually means that either the content of the correspondence or the amount of it is off balance.  This is a warning that the interaction isn't totally appropriate, or the time spent talking (online or offline) with this person is distracting from family life.

• 8. If your friend voices concern.

Pay attention if a good friend asks you why you are talking about this person so much, or if they say something like, "Wake up. You are in a committed relationship. They are in a committed relationship. You need to focus on what you have and stop obsessing about what you don't." 

Friends, sisters, and mothers can often identify the red flags before you are willing to recognize them yourself.

• 9. If your intentions are wrong.

Let's say your spouse/partner is constantly knocking you down, nagging at you, telling you to lose 20 pounds because they didn't intend to marry a beached whale. The natural, or at least easy, thing to do is to find a new attractive person who will feed your ego and tell you that you’re sexy, funny, smart, and so on. 

Some folks may unconsciously seek out an admirer to get their spouse or partner to take notice of them. It can be effective! But it's also manipulative. There are healthier ways to increase your self-esteem.

Cheating and Sexual Addiction ~ 6 Types of Cheaters

 
Here's another post I'll add to the Relationship Links.  This one is a doozy, and one of the first articles I've found that actually acknowledges habitual cheating as a sexual addiction.  Though I believe it could also be an emotional addiction as well, coming from someone who is extremely insecure and in constant need of validation that they are attractive and desirable.  One thing this article doesn't go into is the link between cheating -- sexual addiction -- and pornography, but I'm pretty sure I'll eventually find an article that links these topics as well.

Read on.  Do you recognize anyone in your life as one, or a combination, of these types?  Do you recognize yourself? Have you experienced this type of addict?  Did you confront them?  What was their reaction?  Denial?  Or did they adamantly claim to you that "this will never happen again"?  If it's the latter, there's a probability that they've been saying this repeatedly to every partner they've ever had, because remember... we're talking addiction here.

This article has been excerpted from the book:
Addicted to Adultery: The Other Reason Spouses Cheat 

Here is an explanation of the different “types” of cheaters and the six types of sexual addicts identified by Dr. Weiss.

• 1. The Hunter Cheater

It is the cheating heart, who is very intentional about his behavior, that I term “The Hunter.” This addict is mostly looking for participants in his game. This could take place at weddings, their child’s birthday party or even on their honeymoon where they are cruising for victims. They are looking for the weak, needy or another sex addict for a quick hit. They tend to have pickup lines or a clear modus operandi to capture their prey. The hunter rarely is looking for an equal, because an equal could hurt them. This could be a doctor or lawyer whose prey is the secretary, waitress or woman at a bar. I often have to highlight for hunters they are really picking up wounded sparrows, not hunting for eagles. They tend to be the smart, successful, smooth-talking guy who exudes a certain sexual or narcissistic energy. It’s all about them and their needs. The stench of entitlement is also present in the hunter’s heart.

• 2. The Hero/Nice Guy

Ken is the nice guy at work. He does his job and seems to make time for chitchat. He gravitates to the females at work. He asks about their work load, their husbands or if they need help with a project, even a home project, especially if the woman is divorced. He is always quick with a compliment on how a woman is dressed and knows when to tell a slightly off-colored joke or two. As a woman, you will always feel special around Ken.

This is the person who “wants to help.” This type of cheater can see a victim’s need a mile away, and they want to rescue the maiden in distress, so to speak. This person wants to be a friend to their victim, talk about the victim’s life, marriage, kids or job. This nice guy wants you, the victim, to know they really care.

The hero/nice guy’s adulterous heart is quick to praise, quick to appreciate and quick to pick up on cues as to whether you are starting to trust them. They get excited when the victim trusts them, because they are close to the kill. Even after sex, they want to be seen by the victim and themselves as a nice person. This addict will victimize a woman, engage in several sexual encounters and will exit the relationship, because he loves his kids or thinks the victim should give her husband another chance. Even after victimizing the other person, they want to be thought of by everyone as the nice person they need to believe they are. It takes a little while to see themselves as perpetrators, because they really want to hang on to the image of a hero or nice person. Honestly, heroes and nice people don’t cheat. It’s that simple.

This is the person who is most likely to tell the victim they care for them, love them and tell them they’re special or that they have a future together. They don’t really mean it, but it does make them feel better as to why they are cheating.

• 3. The Hurt/Wounded

Max is depressed, a little overweight, enjoys video games and goes to the sports bar. He seems like a loner. He’s attractive but acts shy. If approached, he lights up and is quick to tell you about his parents dying, the last job he lost or his feelings about the last team that lost. He looks like a lost, little puppy that with just a little love from the right kind of woman could make a man out of him.

The hurt or wounded type of cheater is exactly the opposite of the others we have discussed so far. This man plays the victim role. Their spouse doesn’t love them, appreciate them or have sex with them. This is the person who is looking for someone, anyone to help them in life. They are the person you feel sorry for. That is their way of reeling in their victims. The addict wants the victim to feel like she is helping him, and she is significant, respected and valued by him.

This person tends to underachieve in life and, in relationships, just can’t seem to get it right until their victim comes into their life. They are constantly looking to be saved, helped or delivered from their circumstances or current bad marriage. They attack victims by their neediness.

Oftentimes, this type of cheater doesn’t want to grow up. He wants others to do the hard work of life and be responsible. If they grew up, they wouldn’t know how to attract victims since this has been their method of acting out for so long.

I remember a female sex addict and I discussed her hurt, wounded, cheating heart. She said something like, “I go out to the bar, act like I need help, tell them how my overweight husband won’t have sex with me, and it works every time.” She was able to see that she was the predator, and her lure was this hurt, wounded girl who needed to be rescued from a lack of sex. Unfortunately, neither she nor her husband chose recovery, and she continued acting out.

• 4. The Opportunist

Sharlene is a 35-year-old, never married, southern bell. She talks like she’s from the South, wears tight clothes and has an amazing smile. She spends a lot of time in public places, looking for that smile to be returned. She’s quick to say hello and asks a few questions, needing some advice from men regularly. She is always touching men on their arms or shoulders and giving that look wondering, “Do you like what you see?” She’s had sex with six married men in just a month, and she really likes each one.

This cheating heart is the trickiest to detect. They don’t necessarily have a victim profile at all. Their victims are any shape, age and socioeconomic class. This heart is looking for the magic look of interest or energy. The other person could be twenty years older or younger, fat or skinny, rich or poor. This heart is exhilarated by being wanted or desired. It’s as if their heart has a gas tank of “want me,” and anyone who does want them lights the match and wham. It doesn’t matter what the package is, be it the cleaning woman, nanny, pool boy, secretary or dog groomer. It only matters that there is an opportunity.

These people don’t even make sense to themselves. They can’t see the opportunist theme until you point it out to them. Then voila, it makes sense why any shape, size or personality doesn’t matter. These people eventually snag a crazy person that can create real havoc in their life.

• 5. The Professional

Richard is a CEO of an American arm of a huge international company. He is a six-foot-six, sharp-looking man in great shape and has a commanding intellect. Richard has an attractive wife, two adult children and three homes. Richard is known to travel regularly to the same three locations: China, Brazil and Germany. When he is on his trip, he has arranged for sexual services as part of his trip. He knows exactly what days he will have available, and in two of the three locations, he has had the same women for three years.

This type of cheater is typically a man. Often, this guy is also a sexual or intimacy anorexic. He is not looking for love, nor does he care about the other person’s wants, needs or what they think of him. He wants to be serviced. He may or may not have a specific type of service in mind. He believes he is paying for the confidentiality of their sexual acts.

This person tends to have stashes of cash that nobody is aware of. They want to look normal to themselves. They have the nice wife, kids and regular vacations, but they want to be bad when they want to be bad. They rationalize, “Nobody knows, nobody gets hurt.” They don’t see their disconnectedness as a problem but as strength. If they do engage someone who is not a prostitute or stripper, then they will often control the other person with money. When they feel safe with an arrangement, they might stick to one person, because safety is more important than variety.

• 6. The Fetish Cheater

Anthony has a corporate job in a major city. He has been married to Lynn for nine years. They don’t have any children, and truth be known, they have little sex. Anthony states his overtime is to prove himself, so he can be promoted. Lynn feels alone, unwanted, like a roommate and has gained 15 extra pounds since being married to Anthony. Anthony is a cross-dresser. He likes to go out in public as a woman, and then have sex with another cross-dresser. His cross-dressing partner keeps his female clothes close by his office. He likes to go to a coffee shop or restaurant, have some food and go to his partner’s apartment and have sex a couple times a week.

This is a very specific type of cheater. They only want one flavor of ice cream. Their fetish is usually very restrictive. Oddly enough, they will pass up other available sexual opportunities outside their fetish appetite. This cheater is about one thing, the fix. It’s rarely relational. It’s about doing, watching or participating in a very specific sexual act.

This type of cheater will go to great lengths and, sometimes, great risk to receive a very specific fix. This cheating heart is also compartmentalized and often has a sense of entitlement. My experience with the fetish cheater is that, many times, they are intimacy and sexually anorexic in their marriage as well.

This article has been excerpted from: 

Addicted to Adultery: The Other Reason Spouses Cheat 

(Discovery Press, 2010) by Douglas Weiss, Ph.D. The Executive Director at Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado for more than 20 years, Dr. Weiss has had the opportunity to help many men and women break free from their sexual addiction.

SOURCE:  click  HERE