From Casa Monteraine ~ don't be so stubborn, they're advice is good

 

Advice is coming from an isolated source,

Spirit tells me. Don't be afraid to accept it.

When Does Flirting Become Cheating ~ 9 red flags

 

• A Note from The Boundary Fairy:  

It’s hard to believe that there are people who really don’t understand these boundaries, but there are. So to those people, and to uncomfortable or suspicious spouses/partners, here’s some confirmation that you have a right to be giving your better half the stink eye.

SOURCE: 

Read the complete article at this link.

https://www.livescience.com/15015-flirting-cheating-red-flags.html

• 1. When it's secretive.

If you are deleting your emails — either to a second party or from a second party — that's a red flag. Because by deleting them, you are guessing that your spouse/partner would be upset if they read them, and that you are covering up something. 

Moreover, ask yourself this question: How would I feel if I knew my spouse (or partner) were corresponding to an attractive person in the way I talk to X?  

If you feel an uncomfortable knot in your stomach upon answering that question, there you go.

• 2. If it has a sexual agenda.

This isn't always obvious, of course. But if you notice that your correspondence with this person feeds your sexual fantasies (because an affair is often about sexual fantasy), then you are probably in dangerous waters. If the communication consists of subtle sexual overtones, watch out. 

If it feels like foreplay in anyway, that’s not good.

• 3. If you're spending a considerable amount of time talking to him (her).

According to marriage therapist Allyson P., a person needs to consider not only the content of the messages sent back and forth but also the amount of them. For example, if you are emailing a "friend" 15 times a day, that's a tad extreme, even if the content is about SpongeBob Square-Pants. 

A friend of mine confessed to me that she would spend two hours every night on Facebook chatting with an online buddy until she realized that was more time than she was spending with her husband.

• 4. If you are rationalizing.

"They are just a friend" is a statement that you don't say to yourself when you're involved in innocent communication. Do you feel the need to justify a very safe friendship? No. It's obvious to you and to your mate that the companionship is completely appropriate. 

However, you may very well be investing in an unsafe friendship if you are constantly wrestling with guilt or feel the need to rationalize.

• 5. If it's meeting your personal needs.

If you are getting your intimacy needs met in an online relationship or with a co-worker with whom you playfully banter, you might stop to ask yourself why. Be especially careful if you’re sharing intimate sentiments with that person that you don’t share with your spouse/partner, or if you feel like your online companion understands you in a way that your spouse/partner doesn't. Be on guard if you are receiving satisfaction from this person in any way that you don't at home.

• 6. If you talk about your marriage or your spouse.

It's disrespectful to share intimate details about your marriage/relationship or your spouse/partner, and especially in a discourteous manner or with a flippant attitude. Imagine that your spouse/partner were overhearing your entire conversation. Would you still say it?

• 7. If your spouse doesn't like it.

You have just won a red flag if a spouse or partner has expressed disapproval of your communication with X, because it usually means that either the content of the correspondence or the amount of it is off balance.  This is a warning that the interaction isn't totally appropriate, or the time spent talking (online or offline) with this person is distracting from family life.

• 8. If your friend voices concern.

Pay attention if a good friend asks you why you are talking about this person so much, or if they say something like, "Wake up. You are in a committed relationship. They are in a committed relationship. You need to focus on what you have and stop obsessing about what you don't." 

Friends, sisters, and mothers can often identify the red flags before you are willing to recognize them yourself.

• 9. If your intentions are wrong.

Let's say your spouse/partner is constantly knocking you down, nagging at you, telling you to lose 20 pounds because they didn't intend to marry a beached whale. The natural, or at least easy, thing to do is to find a new attractive person who will feed your ego and tell you that you’re sexy, funny, smart, and so on. 

Some folks may unconsciously seek out an admirer to get their spouse or partner to take notice of them. It can be effective! But it's also manipulative. There are healthier ways to increase your self-esteem.

Patron's Page ~ view free exclusive videos at The Witch's Corner

 
On this page you’ll find private videos that are created exclusively for The Patron’s Page. Some of these videos will be free, but they will be posted as private unlisted videos at YouTube and will only be viewable on this page. These videos may include tarot readings, special information and previews on books and other upcoming projects, magical information and spells, as well as videos of my personal life and reflections.

There may also be videos on this page that you have to purchase to view..
When you make a purchase, be sure to include a working email address. The link to these private unlisted videos will be emailed to you.

https://amythystraine.blogspot.com/p/patrons-page.html

Whimsical Tarot ~ Spirit knows...

 

Here's a few precious seconds of positive energy and a look on the bright side... Spirit knows, Spirit encourages, Spirit imbues

"Limerence" ~ an obsession

 
"Limerence"... is a romantic obsession with an individual you are not with. This is often an Ex.  But it could also be a stranger, a casual acquaintance, or even a celebrity.

*Note: when an individual has been separated from an Ex for a period of time, their brain starts to remember only the "good" things about being with them, burying all the problems and flaws, this is called the "Halo-effect". 

Can you be "just friends" with someone you are experiencing limerence with? No... to recover from the obsession, you have to go No Contact.

Whimsical Tarot ~ You'll find...

 

This is a few seconds of relaxation and a look on the bright side.

Patron's Page ~ The Devil & The Hedonist

 

I just uploaded a private video for the Patron's Page. The only place you can purchase this video is at this link:
https://amythystraine.blogspot.com/p/patrons-page.html

After you make your purchase, I'll email you a YouTube link to the video. Make sure you include a working email address with your purchase.

• Patron's Vid #5 ~ The Devil & The Hedonist

The Devil made me do it. So, what's your poison?

 
This video embraces the awkward world of the hedonist and their addictions. This video gives advice to the innocent people caught in the web of someone else's weakness... heed it.

Romantic obsession ~ know when to let go

 

Welcome to my channel! If you enjoy this video, you would be doing me a huge favor by liking it, leaving a comment, or by subscribing to this channel if you haven't already done so. It's our way of letting Youtube know these videos are here and people are WATCHING them. Thank you!

Like and Subscribe at my YouTube Channel:

click  HERE

Manipulating the manipulator

 

Welcome to Casa Monteraine and another informal video chat. As I announce in this video, I am no longer giving personal tarot readings, but you will find a plethora of videos and info at my website The Tarot Parlour, and I will continue to produce new videos for my YouTube channel. 

The Tarot Parlour ~ 

http://tarotreadingswithamythystraine... 

My Youtube Channel ~ 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdCN... 

The Witch's Corner ~ 

http://amythystraine.blogspot.com 

Every Cat Has a Tale ~ 

http://everycathasatale.blogspot.com 

Magickal Connections ~ 

http://wytchymystique.com 

My books @ Amazon ~ 

https://www.amazon.com/Amythyst-Raine...

Whimsical Tarot ~ Seek the forest and the moonlight

 

You'll find your answers in the wise twinkling eyes of the crone, the mysteries of the forest, and the visions you'll see in the moonlight.

Slightly Expanded version, aka what I originally wrote for the narration:

• Three of Boons…

Someone so much more experienced in life and in the ways of the world is stirring the pot of manifestation. With a gleam in her eye and a twinkling of her cauldron, she see’s what the future can be, she knows the paths you should be taking, and she knows the short cuts through the dark woods.

• The Forest Lord…

He is complacent in his position within the forest. He knows who his stalwart defenders are. The Forest Lord is neither rushed to reach his goal, nor is he anxious for the final outcome. He has set his course, checked his defenses, and is sure of his power.

• Moonlight…

As the silver light and mystical shadows fall upon the clearing, the truth is hidden somewhere close by, in those dark places so many of us are afraid to go. Don’t be tricked by the whimsical face of the moon, lift the fern, look behind the branches of the trees, watch the reflections on the pond for visions that bring clarity.

A new connection brings new issues

 

For some of you Gemini, there is a new relationship on the horizon, but as positive as that sounds, it may bring with it a myriad of problems and issues that need positive resolvement.

The Cottage Fairy

 
I've discovered another beautiful YouTube channel... The Cottage Fairy. This lady tapes some of the most visually gorgeous videos without a ton of expensive cameral equipment, which makes her creative process and final product even more amazing.  She's a very talented videographer, has an interesting life style and interests, has a beautiful soft calm voice, and her channel is just so appealing on so many levels.

Enjoy!... and go subscribe.

From Casa Monteraine ~ the best-laid plans of mice and men

 

Something is not going to work out as originally planned. So look around you... if something doesn't work out as planned, Who Will Benefit from This Turn of Events???

Desert Reading ~ caught in the middle

 

There's someone in the middle of everything just stirring the pot and maliciously watching the results. She's a nasty woman... a nasty, nasty woman (to the tune of Nasty Boyz)

The Month Ahead... what can we expect?

 

• 1. What is an important theme in my month ahead? 
• 2. A secret that will unfold this month. 
• 3. A blessing that will appear this month. 
• 4. Where can I look to the find magic in my day to day. 
• 5. What can I do to practice my magic this month? 
• 6. How an I build trust in my intuition? 

(Note: the number of positions in a tarot spread is not indicative of the number of cards drawn. I draw as many cards as it takes to get an answer.) 

THE TAROT PARLOUR ~ 

http://tarotreadingswithamythystraine.blogspot.com

Casa Monteraine Reading ~ this Queen is opting out

 

In the past this person may have been there for emotional support, advice, and camaraderie. That is no longer the case.

Riding the fence won't bring a solution

 

You can't agree with both sides and find a solution to this issue, or a desired outcome with an individual. If you don't want to get involved, say so.

THE TAROT PARLOUR

Tarot chat ~ you need to do a bay wish spell, someone's taking the 5th, plus much more

 

THE TAROT PARLOUR    

Talk to the right person, you'll get the true picture, weave your own story

 

If you talk to the right person,
you'll get the real picture

Don't wait for someone's decision,

weave your own story...

including the ending.

Highly Recommended ~ Danu's Irish Herb Garden

 

Another visually beautiful video with an uplifting message. These videos manage to be informative, inspiring, visually enchanting, and relaxing. Some of them have an almost ASMR quality about them. This lady has a very soothing soft voice that's very comforting and the ability to make you feel as though she's speaking directly to you.

You'll find all sorts of herbal information including how to videos for making remedies and tinctures; natural household products; natural body care products; as well as interesting holiday tips; and much more. You'll have an opportunity to see some gorgeous Irish countryside and learn some Irish lore.

Cheating and Sexual Addiction ~ 6 Types of Cheaters

 
Here's another post I'll add to the Relationship Links.  This one is a doozy, and one of the first articles I've found that actually acknowledges habitual cheating as a sexual addiction.  Though I believe it could also be an emotional addiction as well, coming from someone who is extremely insecure and in constant need of validation that they are attractive and desirable.  One thing this article doesn't go into is the link between cheating -- sexual addiction -- and pornography, but I'm pretty sure I'll eventually find an article that links these topics as well.

Read on.  Do you recognize anyone in your life as one, or a combination, of these types?  Do you recognize yourself? Have you experienced this type of addict?  Did you confront them?  What was their reaction?  Denial?  Or did they adamantly claim to you that "this will never happen again"?  If it's the latter, there's a probability that they've been saying this repeatedly to every partner they've ever had, because remember... we're talking addiction here.

This article has been excerpted from the book:
Addicted to Adultery: The Other Reason Spouses Cheat 

Here is an explanation of the different “types” of cheaters and the six types of sexual addicts identified by Dr. Weiss.

• 1. The Hunter Cheater

It is the cheating heart, who is very intentional about his behavior, that I term “The Hunter.” This addict is mostly looking for participants in his game. This could take place at weddings, their child’s birthday party or even on their honeymoon where they are cruising for victims. They are looking for the weak, needy or another sex addict for a quick hit. They tend to have pickup lines or a clear modus operandi to capture their prey. The hunter rarely is looking for an equal, because an equal could hurt them. This could be a doctor or lawyer whose prey is the secretary, waitress or woman at a bar. I often have to highlight for hunters they are really picking up wounded sparrows, not hunting for eagles. They tend to be the smart, successful, smooth-talking guy who exudes a certain sexual or narcissistic energy. It’s all about them and their needs. The stench of entitlement is also present in the hunter’s heart.

• 2. The Hero/Nice Guy

Ken is the nice guy at work. He does his job and seems to make time for chitchat. He gravitates to the females at work. He asks about their work load, their husbands or if they need help with a project, even a home project, especially if the woman is divorced. He is always quick with a compliment on how a woman is dressed and knows when to tell a slightly off-colored joke or two. As a woman, you will always feel special around Ken.

This is the person who “wants to help.” This type of cheater can see a victim’s need a mile away, and they want to rescue the maiden in distress, so to speak. This person wants to be a friend to their victim, talk about the victim’s life, marriage, kids or job. This nice guy wants you, the victim, to know they really care.

The hero/nice guy’s adulterous heart is quick to praise, quick to appreciate and quick to pick up on cues as to whether you are starting to trust them. They get excited when the victim trusts them, because they are close to the kill. Even after sex, they want to be seen by the victim and themselves as a nice person. This addict will victimize a woman, engage in several sexual encounters and will exit the relationship, because he loves his kids or thinks the victim should give her husband another chance. Even after victimizing the other person, they want to be thought of by everyone as the nice person they need to believe they are. It takes a little while to see themselves as perpetrators, because they really want to hang on to the image of a hero or nice person. Honestly, heroes and nice people don’t cheat. It’s that simple.

This is the person who is most likely to tell the victim they care for them, love them and tell them they’re special or that they have a future together. They don’t really mean it, but it does make them feel better as to why they are cheating.

• 3. The Hurt/Wounded

Max is depressed, a little overweight, enjoys video games and goes to the sports bar. He seems like a loner. He’s attractive but acts shy. If approached, he lights up and is quick to tell you about his parents dying, the last job he lost or his feelings about the last team that lost. He looks like a lost, little puppy that with just a little love from the right kind of woman could make a man out of him.

The hurt or wounded type of cheater is exactly the opposite of the others we have discussed so far. This man plays the victim role. Their spouse doesn’t love them, appreciate them or have sex with them. This is the person who is looking for someone, anyone to help them in life. They are the person you feel sorry for. That is their way of reeling in their victims. The addict wants the victim to feel like she is helping him, and she is significant, respected and valued by him.

This person tends to underachieve in life and, in relationships, just can’t seem to get it right until their victim comes into their life. They are constantly looking to be saved, helped or delivered from their circumstances or current bad marriage. They attack victims by their neediness.

Oftentimes, this type of cheater doesn’t want to grow up. He wants others to do the hard work of life and be responsible. If they grew up, they wouldn’t know how to attract victims since this has been their method of acting out for so long.

I remember a female sex addict and I discussed her hurt, wounded, cheating heart. She said something like, “I go out to the bar, act like I need help, tell them how my overweight husband won’t have sex with me, and it works every time.” She was able to see that she was the predator, and her lure was this hurt, wounded girl who needed to be rescued from a lack of sex. Unfortunately, neither she nor her husband chose recovery, and she continued acting out.

• 4. The Opportunist

Sharlene is a 35-year-old, never married, southern bell. She talks like she’s from the South, wears tight clothes and has an amazing smile. She spends a lot of time in public places, looking for that smile to be returned. She’s quick to say hello and asks a few questions, needing some advice from men regularly. She is always touching men on their arms or shoulders and giving that look wondering, “Do you like what you see?” She’s had sex with six married men in just a month, and she really likes each one.

This cheating heart is the trickiest to detect. They don’t necessarily have a victim profile at all. Their victims are any shape, age and socioeconomic class. This heart is looking for the magic look of interest or energy. The other person could be twenty years older or younger, fat or skinny, rich or poor. This heart is exhilarated by being wanted or desired. It’s as if their heart has a gas tank of “want me,” and anyone who does want them lights the match and wham. It doesn’t matter what the package is, be it the cleaning woman, nanny, pool boy, secretary or dog groomer. It only matters that there is an opportunity.

These people don’t even make sense to themselves. They can’t see the opportunist theme until you point it out to them. Then voila, it makes sense why any shape, size or personality doesn’t matter. These people eventually snag a crazy person that can create real havoc in their life.

• 5. The Professional

Richard is a CEO of an American arm of a huge international company. He is a six-foot-six, sharp-looking man in great shape and has a commanding intellect. Richard has an attractive wife, two adult children and three homes. Richard is known to travel regularly to the same three locations: China, Brazil and Germany. When he is on his trip, he has arranged for sexual services as part of his trip. He knows exactly what days he will have available, and in two of the three locations, he has had the same women for three years.

This type of cheater is typically a man. Often, this guy is also a sexual or intimacy anorexic. He is not looking for love, nor does he care about the other person’s wants, needs or what they think of him. He wants to be serviced. He may or may not have a specific type of service in mind. He believes he is paying for the confidentiality of their sexual acts.

This person tends to have stashes of cash that nobody is aware of. They want to look normal to themselves. They have the nice wife, kids and regular vacations, but they want to be bad when they want to be bad. They rationalize, “Nobody knows, nobody gets hurt.” They don’t see their disconnectedness as a problem but as strength. If they do engage someone who is not a prostitute or stripper, then they will often control the other person with money. When they feel safe with an arrangement, they might stick to one person, because safety is more important than variety.

• 6. The Fetish Cheater

Anthony has a corporate job in a major city. He has been married to Lynn for nine years. They don’t have any children, and truth be known, they have little sex. Anthony states his overtime is to prove himself, so he can be promoted. Lynn feels alone, unwanted, like a roommate and has gained 15 extra pounds since being married to Anthony. Anthony is a cross-dresser. He likes to go out in public as a woman, and then have sex with another cross-dresser. His cross-dressing partner keeps his female clothes close by his office. He likes to go to a coffee shop or restaurant, have some food and go to his partner’s apartment and have sex a couple times a week.

This is a very specific type of cheater. They only want one flavor of ice cream. Their fetish is usually very restrictive. Oddly enough, they will pass up other available sexual opportunities outside their fetish appetite. This cheater is about one thing, the fix. It’s rarely relational. It’s about doing, watching or participating in a very specific sexual act.

This type of cheater will go to great lengths and, sometimes, great risk to receive a very specific fix. This cheating heart is also compartmentalized and often has a sense of entitlement. My experience with the fetish cheater is that, many times, they are intimacy and sexually anorexic in their marriage as well.

This article has been excerpted from: 

Addicted to Adultery: The Other Reason Spouses Cheat 

(Discovery Press, 2010) by Douglas Weiss, Ph.D. The Executive Director at Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado for more than 20 years, Dr. Weiss has had the opportunity to help many men and women break free from their sexual addiction.

SOURCE:  click  HERE  

Does anyone else feel the odd heavy energy today?

 

• Someone's chipping away, common sense will come to your rescue

They're trying to wear you down, it's all so silly and unnecessary. If you cling to common sense and don't allow yourself to get sucked into their way of thinking... you'll be okay.

• Mediation and  a meeting of the minds

Discord in the land of Couples. You're going to have to find some common middle ground. Life will be much easier for both of you if you can accomplish this.

Uncomfortable reading, I had to stop

 

There was something about the scenario of this reading that made me so uncomfortable I cut it short. Something feels eerily "disturbing" about the reconnection predicted here... an uncomfortable connection? fallout? betrayal? sneaky behavior? A dead end? unexpected repercussions? something we'll be watching on Dateline? It's hard to explain, but as I was reading, something felt almost dangerous, like a situation that could lead to catastrophe.

Sounds a little bipolar, huh?

 

This reading might be called a battle of the wills between a bipolar individual and the narcissist. Which way will it all go?

A bird in the hand, or "let them eat cake"

 

Decisions, decisions, decisions... for some of you, life throws you an unexpected twist, and for others it's an unfortunate choice.

THE TAROT PARLOUR