This little blog series is turning out to be rather cathartic. I'm having to reach waaaaay back, into my youth actually, before my time came to be a Pagan Mom. After I became a Pagan Mom, I was way too busy with babies and toddlers, diapers and laundry, cooking and cleaning, and finally Home-Schooling to really do anything considered Confession-Worthy.
So this is a deep dark secret that I've carried for over a quarter of a century, 32 years to be exact. (I feel like I should have a drum roll here.)
When I was 25 ( a sweet young Thang'), I had an affair with my dentist.
He was 25 years older than me (actually 49, soon to be turning 50); and I realized at the time (smart young Thang' that I was), that his affair with me was sort of a panicked grasping at his own youth, an escape from the idea of his own mortality. His mindset was that he could stay connected with his youth and virility and all that by having a relationship with me.
He could somehow stave off the dreaded 50th birthday. He was a man going through a mid-life crisis. I knew that when he finally turned 50, he would realize that the world was not going to end, that everything would be okay, that he could slide comfortably back into his everyday mundane life with his wife of umpteen years, and normality would return.
And it did.
I have never regretted this experience. I never regretted the relationship because I went into it with my eyes wide open, knowing that this was a temporary connection, that there was no real future as far as a lasting relationship went. And I was so young (and just beginning to explore the world), so I wasn't ready for that type of thing anyway.
This was an adventure!
I know, I know-- the morality of it all. I'm sure there are lots of people who will be more than happy to point out the pitfalls of this situation, and they would actually be right.
I would NOT encourage women to begin a relationship with a married man-- ever! First, because most women would not be able to go into it as honestly as I did, with no expectations and with such a realistic picture. Most women would be setting themselves up to be hurt and to face incredible disappointment.
Ladies-- I learned several things during this short-lived adventure, and I'm going to share them with you now:
1. There is no future with a married man--
no matter what he tells you-- he's living a fantasy through you. He is
not going to a) leave his wife, or b) risk his business and his livelihood.
2. His wife is never the horrible, awful, asexual, ugly, dullard that most husbands tell other women she is. When (and if) you ever meet her, you most likely will find a charming, lovely, hard-working, patient woman who's spent years putting up with this wayward husband because she honestly loves him. They've spent a great share of their lives together, and they created a family that extends to children and even grandchildren. This woman actually deserves a metal.
3. If he cheats on one wife, what makes you think he won't cheat on the next one? (Think about it.)
I have to admit that there were a couple perks I took away from this little adventure:
1. My teeth were incredible during this period, absolutely gorgeous, they were Super-Model-Material.
2. I still can't look at a dentist's chair without smiling.
