From The Witch's Desk ~ Spilling the Tea

 

Stepping up to the plate

You didn't think this one simple innocent individual, or this one obvious (to you) choice, could throw such a wrench in your relationship, your marriage.  But there it is.  Truth is, you didn't even do anything wrong.  You were just being responsible, making decisions that need to be made, stepping up to the plate, as they say, taking care of business, taking care of someone who can't take care of themselves.  

But your partner didn't see it that way, did they?  And this surprised you, didn't it, stunned you actually.

Suddenly the quaint idea of "we're in life together", "what affects you, affects me", "we'll handle life's problems side by side"... it all kind of fizzled into empty cliques, didn't it?

You expected your partner to be as willing to step up to the plate as you are, but this didn't turn out to be the case, did it.

Now what?

You've been through all the arguments together and experienced the nasty words thrown around trying to work this out; you've been through all the wishful thinking you could manifest; and you've worried that your relationship may not be strong enough to survive this, or you might not be strong enough to stick to your decisions.

Stepping up to the plate isn't always easy for the responsiblie partner.  Being a partner to someone who suddenly finds themselves stepping up to a very unexpected and not particularly pleasant responsibility isn't easy either.  Neither one of you saw this coming, to be honest, and you both had very different reactions to it.

Now what?

Someone's got to draw the line somewhere -- both of you, actually -- and you'll find that your boundaries are going to be very different. You have to acknowledge that there are "deal breakers" for relationships and marriages, and you may have just run into one. You might be finding yourself having to choose between this new responsibility and your relationship, literally. You might find yourself caught in a stagnant stalemate, at least for a while. And you most definitely will find yourself at a crossroads, and ultimately, you are the one who will have to make that final decision.

You can do it.  Do you know how I know this?... You already stepped up to the plate.