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Saturday, January 30, 2016

Mothers-In -Law ~ What I've Learned From Mine #4

MIL#4...the mother-in-law from hell.

This one takes my breath away.  I'm not even sure where to start.  If you want to really understand the definition of the word "mean-spirited", meeting this lady would give it to you.  I've never met anyone, before or since, who is as cold-hearted, cruel, calculating, controlling, and manipulative. 

I said once to my then husband and her son:  "I believe that, to make this woman the way she is, there may be two scenarios that played out in her life, one or the other-- either she was absolutely spoiled rotten as a child to an extreme, or she suffered something very traumatic during her childhood, something deep and mentally life changing, such as sexual abuse."

During the course of a phone conversation, one of this woman's own sons stated:  "I don't think anyone could get along with my mother."

I think the best thing to do for MIL#4 is to skip all the minute ugly details and simply start with a list of what I've learned from this woman:

  • Having a child does not mean that you will control this individual's life for the rest of their life.
  • Never use money as a reward/punishment tool with your children, not even (and especially) when they are adults.
  • Words can be used as weapons, and once spoken, they cannot be taken back.
  • Never deliberately belittle and embarrass your child in public, or ahead of their spouse or partner.
  • Just because you might not understand another person's lifestyle or spiritual path, don't jump to negative conclusions, and don't pass judgment.
  • Compassion, a sense of humor, and empathy are gifts that not everyone is fortunate enough to be endowed with; if you have these gifts, embrace them.
  • Kindness can impact the world, and those who are touched by it, in magical empowering uplifting ways.  Never miss an opportunity to spread a little kindness.
  • Love your child enough to let go.
  • Love your child enough to let them make their own mistakes in order to learn and grow.
  • Love your child enough to trust their choices. 
  • Love your child enough to support them in their endeavors and daily lives.

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