From The Witch's Desk ~ Spilling the Tea

 

Think before you speak, and stop lying... er, embellishing

Someone has been searching for a long time for happiness through a successful relationship and a building of positive familial contacts.  This someone has probably been searching for a long time because something is holding them back, and the things that have been holding them back from success are:  

• the fact that they only look in one direction -- they have tunnel vision

• the fact that they lack empathy and self-awareness that's needed when attempting to connect with people and especially someone new

• the fact that they get all hopeful, super enthusiastic, and overly positive when they do meet someone new, and they don't realize that their hopefulness and enthusiasm is a fantasy that only they are embracing -- it's usually one-sided, and it often comes off as creepy.  They move too fast, going from 0 to 100 mph in seconds, from "Hello, nice to meet you", to dropping the "L" word only days after meeting.  They can, in fact, be inappropriate in a blind and foolish way.

But alas, do not dispair.  Believe it or not, there may still be  hope for this someone, and as the old adage goes... there is someone for everybody, it's just a matter of finding them.

But once you find them, how can you connect and make a positive connection that holds any promise for a future?

1.  Turn around.  Look in a new direction.  Your world is so solitary that you depend too much on your own fantasies.  You like to preordane how everything will go, what a new person in your life will look like, what kind of profession they will have, where they will be from, their social class, as well as they're financial situation.  Leave yourself open to infinite possibilities.

2.  Stop embellishing.  I'm falling just short of callingt this lying, but the line is thin, and dishonesty leaves a recognizable stench.  Be honest.  Be yourself.  Don't spin wild fantasies about your family, your job, your work, your wealth, your potential.  You'll fall flat on your embarrassed face when these ramblings of grandeur are exposed in the glaring light of day.

3.  While being all hopeful and inspired and enthusiastic, also be realistic and honest -- with yourself first, and then with any potential new partner.  It keeps life simple, makes things easier, and you won't have to do any shameful back tracking.

Spilling the Tea