- 1. All About Her
Does he steal special moments by talking about her and the past. If he sabotages good times by piping up with a story about having exactly the same, or similar, or worst, better experience with his ex? If the story becomes a rambling memoir that he cannot stop himself from telling, and at the end of the tale, he releases a wistful little sigh. He is probably still in love with her.
- 2. There's a Very Fine Line Between Love & Hate
Does he talk about her with too much emotion. The opposite of love is indifference, not hate. If your guy talks about his ex with sadness and sorrow, as if he misses her, or if your guy talks about his ex with anger and bitterness, as if he resents her...he's probably still in love with her.
- 3. Comparing You to Her
Does he compare you to her way too often? When he does, do you feel as if ex is his ideal, and he secretly worships her, and nothing you do can live up to her? These kinds of comparisons are insensitive and demonstrate his inability to move forward with a new woman. You just might wake up one morning very soon, to realize you are in a rebound relationship, and he's not there for the long term. Even if the comparisons he makes puts her in a negative light, it's still not a good sign because he's still obsessing about the past in an unhealthy way. Either way, these constant comparisons indicate he's probably still in love with her.
- 4. She's The First to Know
Does he rob you of celebrating the milestones of his life by telling her the good news first? If every time something wonderful happens in his life, you are the second to find out. If she knows about his promotion before you do and announces it on Facebook before he even tells you. If she is the first person he thinks of to tell of a death or birth in the family. If you feel she enjoys her position in his life, and she is taking your relationship hostage. The worst, if you feel he betrays your confidences by discussing them with her, he's probably still in love with her.
- 5. What Does She Think?
Does he still look for her approval before making a big decision or making a change in his life? Does it feel as if he still needs his ex's approval, and he's involving her in every life decision he makes, including the one to take your relationship to the next level, he's probably still in love with her.
- 6. Password Protected
Does he hide his texts from her from you citing privacy? A man who hides texts from his ex, is probably saying things to her that are inappropriate and would make you question his loyalty. He may make the argument that what goes on between them is none of your business or private, however, if openness and honesty about his communications with other people are not part of your relationship, then you might want to consider why he has such an excessive need for personal privacy in the first place, and if that's a trait you can tolerate in a long term partner. If he's secretive about his ex, he's probably still in love with her.
- 7. He is still in contact with her, but he doesn't want you to ask questions about her, and if you do ask questions, they go unanswered
Often, if he's keeping information about his ex to himself, he secretly believes there's a chance they'll get back together, and he doesn't want you to know too much about her, or know her. It also, in his mind, curbs suspicions you may have about her. Of course this doesn't actually work, and in fact, increases suspicion, but he doesn't know that. If he believes that not answering your questions about his ex will save you from disappointment, he's probably still in love with her.
- 8. In a Relationship With?
Are you still waiting for him to update his Facebook relationship status to being in a relationship with you? A man who refuses to update his Facebook relationship status with your name may still be trying to protect the feelings of an ex or even actively cheating with her. He might even tell you he doesn't want to announce his commitment to you on social media because it might upset her. If he puts his ex's feelings before yours, he is not committed or loyal and you have every right to be suspicious of his behavior. He's probably still in love with her.
- 9. Harmful Flirting
Is your guy flirting endlessly with his ex on Facebook or other social media. Facebook is ultimately a publicity tool and when two people decide to flirt with each other on each other's wall for the general public to see then you can safely conclude that your current boyfriend does not have much respect or consideration for you, and neither does his ex. (This applies if he's using Facebook for private flirtations as well) They deserve each other! He's not only still in love with her, but he's a real jerk!
- 10. Who's She With?
Does he seem jealous of his ex's new partner? This can include mild forms of depression and heart tugging angst, as well as jealous outbursts. This is a huge red flag and does not bode well for your relationship. It might be time for you to suggest he follow his heart's desire rather than string you along any longer, because he's probably still in love with her.
- 11. Too Touchy
Do they touch each other when they talk? Kiss and hug when they meet and greet each other? If your boyfriend and his ex are physically affectionate, then there's a chance they are both still into each other. He can claim it's "just innocent", but he's probably still in love with her, as well as being an insensitive jerk.
- 12. It's Not In Your Head
He gaslights you if you find evidence of infidelity. When men tell their women that their suspicions or fears are all in their heads, it's called Gas-lighting. This term comes from the 1944 thriller Gaslight, about a man who slowly manipulates his wife into thinking she is crazy, doubting her own perceptions and memories, so no one will believe her claims that her husband is trying to kill her. Whether they're aware of it or not, men who cheat, or are still seeing their ex, practice a version of this by telling their partners they are just jealous, unstable or even crazy to imagine a disloyalty or an affair. He may tell you that you are obsessed with his ex. If this is your situation, get out now. He's not only still in love with her, he's a cheat, and a manipulative creep.
- 13. Love The One You're With
He treats you as an option rather than a choice. When a man is in love with a woman he does not allow intrusive influences of any kind to interrupt the peace, bliss, and security of his relationship. He shows his total commitment and loyalty to that woman and she must feel like she is #1. If you feel like #2, or one of many options, then it is time to find someone who has more respect for you. He's probably still in love with her, or maybe just himself.
- 14. Emotional Betrayal
Does his behavior toward his ex feel like emotional infidelity? Are you caught in a situation where his attitude towards his ex puts you in a very uncomfortable position? Do they share private, or even secret, conversations, texts, or emails? Do you feel like a third wheel? Does it feel like there are three people in your relationship? This is a betrayal of loyalty and shows that she still has his heart, and he's probably still in love with her.