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Tuesday, October 18, 2022

Narcissists ~ why they deliberately try to make their partners jealous


Note:  it's easier for me to write this from a female perspective with appropriate pronouns, but don't let that fool you, female narcissists will do this to their partners too.

Have you experienced this?  Sometimes it reveals itself by a spouse or partner who will deliberately tell you inappropriate stories about a female co-worker, or stories that would best be shared with a group of guys (as distasteful as that sounds), even though they know you're not interested.  Psychologists make a good point about this behavior, in the fact that many of these men suffer from low self-esteem, and it will boost their crippled ego if they see jealousy in their partner.

At the same time, there is caution needed here, as narcissists in this mental state are also often very immature when it comes to the opposite sex, complicated by their never-ending need for confirmation about their virility and attractiveness to the opposite sex.  They're also very prone to being easily infatuated with every individual that comes along who stirs their romantic interest.  

So the partners of narcissistic individuals are wise to avoid such interaction, ignore it, or not get pulled into these mind games at all.

The source for this article:  livescience.com
The author:  Stephanie Pappas
Follow the link to read this article in its entirety and for access to helpful links.

If you've ever had a partner who flirted with other people right in front of you, or chatted up attractive strangers and tried to make you feel like you couldn't measure up, well, maybe you were dating a narcissist.

And maybe they were doing it on purpose.

New research suggests that people who have a high level of narcissistic traits strategically induce jealousy in their mates as a way to meet certain goals: control, in some cases, or a boost in their self-esteem.

Types of Narcissists

Psychological research suggests that narcissistic personalities fall into two categories: 

  • Grandiose Narcissists:  The first is grandiose narcissism, marked by entitlement, extroversion and high self-esteem. Grandiose narcissists are very self-assured.
  • Vulnerable Narcissism:  The second category, vulnerable narcissism, describes people who are similarly entitled and willing to exploit people to get what they want. But vulnerable narcissists have an inherent fragility.  They are insecure, and have low self-esteem.

"... narcissists often sabotage their romantic relationships with behaviors like flirting with other people. Researchers have theorized that these love-killing behaviors are impulsive and that narcissists can't help themselves, but there might be more to the story"

Researchers asked 237 undergraduates to fill out questionnaires about their personality traits, jealousy-inducing behaviors, and the motives for those behaviors. They found that the more narcissistic the person, the more likely they were to try to make their romantic partners jealous.

Playing Head Games

The reasons for these romantic head games varied by the type of narcissism, though. 

  • Grandiose narcissists reported being motivated by their desire to gain power and control within the relationship. 
  • Vulnerable narcissists, on the other hand, tried to induce jealousy for multiple reasons: control was one, along with testing the relationship's strength, seeking security in the relationship, compensating for low self-esteem and exacting revenge for what they perceived to be their partner's bad behavior.

"They are, according to one study, inducing jealousy in their partners as a means to pursue some greater goal.  They're doing it intentionally."

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