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"Amythyst Raine is an author known for her work in the realm of spirituality, witchcraft, and the metaphysical. Her books often explore themes related to paganism, tarot, and spiritual practices. On Amazon, you can find a variety of her published works, including titles like "Tarot: A Witch's Journey", where she combines personal experiences with tarot wisdom, and "The Spiritual Feminist", which delves into the empowerment of women through spiritual practices. Raine's books are often praised for their accessible writing style and insightful perspectives, making them popular among those interested in exploring spiritual paths and the divine feminine. If you're curious about these topics, her works can serve as a thoughtful guide on your journey."
This is an excellent article and sound sage advice. Having that third party hanging over a new relationship, especially when the ex doesn't respect boundaries, is like trouble just waiting to happen. If you need help figuring out how to disengage from a clingy ex who just doesn't get it, you'll find this article extremely helpful.
Below are key points that are very direct and absolutely on the mark.
1. Directly state that you want him/her out of your life.
You have said it—in so many words (you didn’t want to be mean, and how many other ways are there to interpret “It’s over”?).But when a former partner you used to be connected to won’t let it go, you have to be as blunt as possible, without being cruel of course. Call them, don’t text them, in order to avoid any misunderstanding. Florida State University psychologist Roy Baumeister tells Psychology Today that it sometimes does more hurt then help when you try to sugarcoat it. Psychology Today explains, “A misguided attempt to spare a partner pain can leave him or her hopeful [that] there might be a chance at future reconciliation, which can hinder the efforts of both parties to move on.”
Use the most direct wording—short and to the point—in this situation. Say, “Please stop contacting me.” Don’t be afraid of being "mean". You are firmly establishing what you need, and they should honor that.
2. Do not respond to any of his/her communication.
This can be really difficult. Interestingly, there is research indicating that people react to rejection like a drug user going through withdrawal. According to Psychology Today, Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher believes that the activation of addictive centers in response to breakups also fuels stalking behavior, which is why they may be calling and texting so much. They may be struggling post-breakup, but it’s not up to you to comfort them or make them feel better, and doing so may make their feelings of withdrawal worse. After you have made your boundaries clear, do not respond if they reach out again. Even by responding to their“Hey, thinking of you” text with an “I'm good, hope you are well, too” adds fuel to their fire to keep contacting you. They are fishing for anything from you, so cut the cord, and don’t respond.
3. Social Sites ~ unfriend, unfollow, and consider doing the same with your ex's friends.
We live in the social media era, which means they have easy access to pieces of your life. If you remain “friends,” you may be tempted to check in on them. The easiest way to prevent this is to remove your Ex from your networks. It may seem a little absurd, but even asking your close friends to unfriend them is another option. Finally, if it isn’t been done already, set your profile to private.
4. Have his/her emails sent directly to trash.
There are some other great technology tools out there to nip unwanted communication in the bud. Here’s how to have your Ex's emails delivered directly to your trash folder in Gmail:
On a computer, open Gmail.
Check the box next to the emailyou’d like to create a filter for.
Click “More.”
Click “Filter messages like these.”
Fill out information about the emails you want to filter. Click “Create a filter with this search” at the bottom right.
Check the box for what you’d like to do with messages that fall into that filter. If you want them to get sent to “Trash,” check the box for “Delete.”
Learn about different ways to create filters.
5. Block his/her number.
It’s frustrating to have to constantly delete voicemails, and it can feel harsh to ignore all those friendly or maybe even pleadingly romantic text messages. But, thankfully, you can stop your Ex's calls and texts in their tracks. To do this, go to your telephone service provider (AT&T, Verizon, etc.),or investigate your phone’s (Android or iPhone) capabilities for blocking.
6. Don't check on him/her.
You may be tempted to ask your Ex's friends how they're doing, but this might only kindle further communication. Russell Friedman, executive director of the California-based Grief Recovery Institute and author of Moving On, told Psychology Today that he warns against prolonged back and forth communication, as it often instigates arguments and causes more hurt. If your Ex's friends want to talk about them or ask any questions, change the subject.
In the ideal world, we would all be buddies with our exes post-breakup, but sometimes it’s just not possible, and often it's not advisable, especially for those who've moved on to new relationships. If your Ex can’t give you the space you need to heal and move on, you can take the initiative to facilitate a clean break.
To tell you the truth, I don't often listen to readings for myself. I'm not sure why. But YouTube put this woman's video in front of me today, and she's absolutely amazing! Be sure to check out her YouTube channel... HERE
Libra~Next 48~Aug 5/6~YOU vs.THEM~They Chose You!..3rd Party Gets Cut!!!
If you’d like me to do this reading for you (in audio format), go to the newly updated Home Page of The Witch’s Corner, scroll down, and you’ll find it in the right hand column. You can purchase this reading there. ~ https://amythystraine.blogspot.com/
Be sure to include a working email address with your purchase so I can email you a photo of your cards and the audio file of you reading.
Hecate is one of the triple goddesses, often depicted in art as a single body with three heads. She is the goddess of witchcraft; the moon; the spirit realm; nature and night visions; considered protectress of the Witches. She also protects women in childbirth, is the guardian of the spirit world, and “Queen of the Crossroads”– a place of dark magic, spiritual wisdom, and terrible power.
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The moon’s shadow fell as a pattern on the dirt road beneath the trees. The young woman’s cloak hid her face as she leaned on her knees to dig a small hole, depositing a knotted scarf holding herbs and stones, a tiny carved image, and her menstrual blood. Her lips moved silently as she invoked the presence of Hecate.
As the young woman covered her sacred bundle with earth and rose from her knees, the sound of a hound baying at the moon echoed in the distance. The breeze picked up, moving the tree limbs above, shifting the shadows on the road into eerie patterns. A chill ran up the woman’s spine, and she gathered her cloak more tightly about her shoulders, shivering with the knowledge that the great goddess Hecate was moving through the crossroads.
Embracing the Goddess:
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. So often women are under the impression that someone else is responsible for their protection, but this isn’t true. We’re responsible for protecting ourselves, and sometimes this can mean making difficult decisions.
Hecate’s correspondences:
Herbs: garlic, lavender, honey Animal: dog Color: purple Planet: Jupiter Day: Thursday Element: Earth Feminine Face: Crone Symbols: a torch; a dagger; the crossroads;
the moon; the serpent; fire
Invoke this goddess in the sacred darkness of night, at a crossroads, which is her favored realm, in the light of a fire. The presence of a dog is desirable, and this creature will not only be pleasing to Hecate, but may very well announce her beautiful and terrible presence before you are aware of it.
I’m delighted to bring you this reading from the Sonoran Desert, San Tan Valley… Arizona. This is a general reading. If you’d like a personal reading, go to The Tarot Parlour.
Photo: I found this at Amazon, for sale, 3 used copies of the 1st edition of my book, which is out-of-print. How funny! Follow this link to buy a 2nd edition copy at a much more reasonable price, $18.95 ~
Free Reading, Pick a Card ~ for some you, indecisiveness is only creating problems, you need to suck it up and make some choices and commitments. This seems to be a recurring theme. What else is in the cards??
Ace/Cups ~ With the ace of cups you hold in your hand all of the visions, dreams, and love you will experience in this lifetime… every relationship that touches your existence, every dream-scape that you travel in your sleep, every vision you experience through Spirit spills from the ace of cups. You swim within this realm enveloped by the magic of it all. The real dilemma of this ace comes in managing all of the images, emotions, and depth that you experience with feeling, really FEELING, life.
With the ace of cups, you will learn the importance of filters and boundaries.
Reversed: Beware. There is the danger of being entangled in fantasy, deluged with paranoia and narcissism, caught in the web of self-deceit.
Be prepared to sort out reality from delusion.
My Personal Connection: The Ace of Cups has been my biggest challenge in life (me, the Libra, forever connecting in partnerships), forever pursuing love and a fairy tale ending, not anticipating what each encounter would bring to me, what I would learn from it, what I would suffer for it, what I would take away from it. The Libra in me has not been content unless I was one of a pair, from the time I was 15 years old. There has only been three years in my 20s and going on three years in my 60s that I have been a single entity. And I realize now, looking back in reflection, that these single years have been the largest periods of growth and development for me.
This beautiful cup full of promises and love, commitment and passion, had to throw the water it contains in my face to wake me up, in order for me to see and recognize destructive patterns in my life, in order for me to break these patterns. Does this mean that the belief in fairy tale endings has been washed away? The idea of love and passion that never dies? The idea of soul mates and magical connections? No, of course not, but it’s the realization that those things must be chosen carefully, that you can’t take such big steps at face value and wish for the best outcome. It’s also made me realize that if those things are not for me, or not for me at particular periods of life, that’s okay too.
It’s taken a lifetime, but I’m finally at peace with the Ace of Cups.
4/swords (R) ~ Some of us need to try harder. It’s so easy to become complacent when we’ve either tried and failed too often, or been brain-washed to believe that we can’t succeed in the first place.
I'm not feeling the sense of "burdens" that this card is usually connected with. There's more of a feeling about everyone being on the same page for some major transition, project, or job. It's going to be important for some of you to have co-workers, a spouse, friends, or family all looking in the same direction, all working towards the same goal. You will at least need their support and positive energy, as negativity or a lack of support will only make your task more difficult.
For those of you who find yourself at the threshold of something new, a decision to make, or a new transition coming up, make sure that you have your ducks in a row, that you have the necessary information you need to accomplish what you're setting out to do. Some of you may also want to look around and see where the stumbling blocks lay and get rid of them; whether they are individuals, or circumstances, or personal weakness.
Six/wands (reversed)
There's a feeling like you're just not quite there... almost successful, almost reaching out and being able to touch a goal; but your success (or your idea of success) doesn't quite match up to your reality, or your expectations. Some of you are being particularly hard on yourself, placing the bar too high, unrealistically high. Some of you are actually quite successful, but you're being fed negativity by those around you who may be jealous, spiteful, or just cruel and critical. Eliminate these people from your life, and if that's not possible, then minimize the contact you have with them.
King/pentacles (reversed)
Some of you have lost control of your own life, control of yourself, control of the decisions that you're making. Some of you may feel that you're racing through life without a game plan. Some of you may feel uprooted, or suspended and stagnant, or vulnerable. There's the idea that a few of you may not be looking in the right direction for exactly what it is that will satisfy your needs. Which way do you have to go to honor your inner voice? What choices do you need to make to gain control of your life? (Some of these choices may be difficult, even painful, but the end result will be worth the effort.)
Four/wands (reversed)
Your foundation is not solid. Find the weak spots, rebuild from the ground up, start over, start again, re-do, repeat; and keep this up until you feel that your life is on firm footing and anything you build, plan, or start from this point will be sturdy, strong, durable, long lasting... and successful.
Some of you may have noticed that this spring, and this year in fact, has seen me very quiet on my websites and blog. I even temporarily took down services and merchandise during this time at The Witch's Corner and The Tarot Parlour with very good reason. My beloved life partner Bob and I sold our houses in Nebraska and moved to Arizona. This undertaking involved weeks of working with realtors; cleaning out two houses of belongings; finding resolutions to an issue standing in the way; coordinating the sale and closing dates for two houses in two different cities/counties, as well as the purchase of a new house at the other end of the country; and dealing with all of life's normal daily activities and issues along the way.
This was the biggest most exciting adventure of my life. It was physically and emotionally exhausting, sometimes frustrating, often scary and overwhelming. It involved two flights to Arizona, house hunting, and decisions that had to be made quickly and logically for everything to fall into place and magickal timing to manifest realities.
It worked.
In the end we had three houses in three different cities and two states that wound up with the closing dates for all three On The Same Day. We literally packed a U-Haul, left Nebraska, and drove directly to our new house! It was incredible, and the coincidence (or synchronicity) was not lost on the realtors involved (fantastic ladies!)
This is so sad, and I'm really trying to understand it. A lady that I knew for years on the internet, at one time part of an online coven, suddenly and without warning, dropped her pagan spirituality like a hot potato. That was sad. The part I'm trying to understand is her husband. From the photos and the stories she told, the activities they were into, the drumming circles they participated in, the holidays that filled their year with family dinners and pagan traditions, her husband seemed as happy on his pagan path as she was. When she made her jaw-dropping jettisoned return to mainstream religion, her husband seemed to follow suit without a breath of protest.
Was he, or is he, just following blindly along as far as spirituality is concerned to keep his wife happy?
Doesn't his feelings and personal beliefs and desires count?
Did he have a choice, or is she domineering, and he chooses to do what will make his life comfortable without making waves?
Her own 180 degree turn about was mind boggling in itself. I understand that an individual may experience many types of spiritual enlightenments and spend a great deal of their life exploring this realm on a variety of levels. But it's usually a gradual thing, an interest sparked, an internal debate ensues, there will be signs and conversations, there may be gradual changes on someone's social sites, and a myriad of other signs that something is about to morph. But with this woman, it was just out of the blue, and it left friends and coven sisters shocked.
Believe me, I wished this woman well on her new old journey, and held no animosity against her. I was prepared to go on being friends and keep in contact because she was/is a sweet lady and one whom I enjoyed chatting with. However, as most people do when they make a big change in their life in this department, she wound up unfriending and abandoning many of the people that she knew and had developed close and warm friendships with in her pagan life.
Why can't people continue to be friends even though there are some major differences in certain aspects of their lives? This I don't understand. I have friends of many faiths. I have friends of various political persuasion. I have friends with polar opposite life styles.
How can someone who claimed to be your friend, who seemed to like you immensely, just one day decide to cut you off because of a shift in their spirituality? I liked this woman when she was a pagan, and I was perfectly willing to go on liking this woman as a Christian.
