Your Daily Cards ~ updated @ The Witch's Corner

 

I Updated “Your Daily Cards”, found in the right side-bar at The Witch’s Corner, if you’re viewing on your phone, you need to click on “view web version”…
https://amythystraine.blogspot.com/

YOUR DAILY CARDS:

Welcome, visitors, to The Witch’s Corner. The reading found here is created specifically for this space and for you. If you have stumbled upon this humble little sidebar and this reading, be assured that it was Spirit’s intent that you find it.

The cards: King/swords; The Empress; 4/cups; 9/wands; Temperance (the deck, Vintage Tarot)

Some Ex-cellent Ex-advice

 

In an ideal world, breaking up with someone would be clean cut and hassle-free. People would admit and accept they're not compatible, then move on with their lives. In reality however, being human means that splitting up is often a lot more complicated. We have separations that are a little too friendly, ones that are highly contentious, and some which are downright confusing, simply because we’re actually not very sure what happened. If any of these scenarios sound familiar, here’s some advice on how to balance a past lover with your new one.

• “…he’s one of my best friends.”

As wonderful and new age as it may seem to you, no one entering into a relationship wants to hear their new partner uttering these words, or anything to this effect. It’s not that your new flame is necessarily hoping the breakup with your ex was a bitter one, it’s simply that it can be uncomfortable joining this particular club. The club being one where everyone has some intimate experience with you, whether sexual, mental, or emotional. Letting go of deep connections with an ex, if you choose to do so, can be empowering. You make way for a new person to become your best friend and you allow them to re-discover all the reasons, and more, why others have loved you.

• “…but I don’t mind if he talks to his ex.”

It’s very commendable to know you’ve chosen the right partner, whom you can trust with their own ex, but don’t be overly encouraging of their attachments to the past. You may be utterly confident about a relationship they could hypothetically have, but if they don’t want that freedom, then let it go. Don’t use it to try and balance the presence of your ex in your life. We’re not suggesting you totally cut people off here, but you must acknowledge when someone new deserves time that is uninterrupted by your previous lovers. In our opinion, dating an ex-collector is the most uninspiring type of threesome there is. No one wants to feel like they’re living in someone else’s shadow, or that they can’t get close enough because the vacant position is actually still half filled.

• “…I hate my ex, she was a complete @*@%@$^@.”

Hating your ex passionately can be just as damaging to a new relationship as still loving them. If you can’t forget the reason for your break up, the next best move is to heal from it. Walking around with a heart filled with anger, malice or regrets isn’t attractive and could potentially get in the way of new experiences with other people. Another tip is that no matter how positive the allusions may be, don’t compare the habits of your new love to those of your old. Don’t tell your new partner how much better, slimmer, more intelligent, or rational they are. Take them on the merits they present, not how they stack up against an ex.

• he’s the father of her kids, I have to put up with him.

It’s true, dating someone that has a good relationship with their co-parent is far easier than dating someone who’s constantly fighting or bickering with them. Having said this, there should still be limitations on the amount of influence ex-partners have over the two of you. As long as children are safe and cared for, the relationship you have with their parent and how you run your joint lives should have minimal input from anyone else. This includes how the household operates, how you manage your finances and your life as a family unit. If you’re the newcomer, don’t allow yourself to be dictated to, and if you’re the one with the interfering ex, put some clear boundaries in place.

Source:  I'm not posting a link to this source simply because I haven't personally checked out this company, or their website.  This wise advise on universal relationship issues was posted by a UK based international matchmaking company.  Basically, they're saying if you're going to start a new relationship, don't f*** it up with left-over garbage from your previous relationship.  You can't build something new and amazing if you're not building in a clean spot on solid ground.  (And this is my two cents on this subject)

23 (Very Down-to-Earth) Signs You've Found Your Soul Mate

 

• 1. You enjoy doing boring things together like shopping, going to the pharmacy or filing tax returns.

• 2. You have a better time eating out on the sofa than having dinner in a three-star restaurant.

• 3. One of the things you like the most about him is being able to eat anything you want without worrying about what he will think.

• 4. The moment you really fell for him was after seeing him sleep, his face relaxed with his mouth open.

• 5. And you’re just as comfortable with the idea that he sees yours … drooling and everything.

• 6. Obviously, you like it when you are on your 31. But you both just as much like to see yourselves in pajamas, or your favorite worn t-shirt, natural!

• 7. You cherish his handwritten cards and little words, even more than any expensive gift he has given you.

• 8. He reminds you of such and such a thing whenever necessary and vice versa.

• 9. No smartphone required. You have a lot more fun with your little corner smiles after a shared private joke during a meal, or at any other moment of sharing that you are the only ones to understand.

• 10. He excels in encouraging speeches, but nevertheless refuses to pamper you too much.

• 11. You talk – and laugh – openly about how the body works.

• 12. When you go to a wedding together, what you prefer is not necessarily the moment of emotion but simply the act of enjoying a quiet corner in a cozy huddle.

• 13. You have developed your own lexicon: words and expressions invented or not but which have a special meaning for you.

• 14. You know each other so well that you would probably answer 9 of the 10 questions we would ask him about Action or Truth.

• 15. The sweet little words that you use in your private conversations are not so sweet… They are rather nicknames such as: “idiot” or “buddy”. And in fact, you prefer as much as it is.

• 16. You don’t feel sick when he has the flu or is sick, because all you care about is taking care of him.

• 17. His problems and issues are your problems and issues, and vice versa. 

• 18. You can experience moments of silence without being embarrassed.

• 19. In fact, relaxing together in complete silence without feeling the need to find topics for discussion is one of the things you prefer in your relationship... that and reading books.

• 20. You would never betray yourself by watching an episode of “Criminal Minds” without the other. You’ve made a deal, the full CMs sessions are done together, and you’re both planning to stick with it!

• 21. He buys you your favorite candies or delicacies, and when he buys you flowers, he knows they will be dried and put to good use.

• 22. He makes you laugh in extremely serious and inappropriate situations.

• 23. You would rather spend a zero day with him a thousand times than go to the most extraordinary meeting in the world with another.

Source for this blog post:

https://livetheglory.com/relationship-advice/23-signs-not-very-romantic-that-you-have-found-your-soul-mate/

Planning a Wedding When You're Over 50

Planning a wedding doesn’t necessarily change because you’re older, of course.

If you’re having a pretty traditional event, you’ll still need all the basics, from officiant and music to rings and food. But how you think about it, and what matters to you, might be a little different now. I’ll be 51 when I walk down the aisle for the first time this September, so goodness knows I’ve had plenty of time to consider our Big Day.

But the truth is that quite a few things I would have obsessed over in my twenties or thirties don’t seem very important (or even appropriate) now. There will be no bouquet-tossing, no wearing of white, no wedding theme or colors, no string of bridesmaids (though I would never begrudge any bride at any age these things.) “One of the great things about getting married or remarried after 50 is you and your fiance are at a stage in life where you know what you want,” says Stacey Colino, a writer in Chevy Chase, Maryland, who married for the second time last November at 52. “And because you’re likely financing the wedding, you can do it your way, in a style that appeals to you, without having to worry about pleasing your parents or other people. John and I planned our wedding together every step of the way.”

Rather than scrutinize every detail, at this stage of life I'm simply trying to ensure that the day goes smoothly and that my fiance Fred, and I, along with our guests, get to really enjoy ourselves. For us, nothing matters more. So with that in mind, here’s some advice from a first-timer on how to plan a wedding later in life, plus a few words of wisdom from Stacey:

Hire a wedding planner if you can afford it. 

We decided against doing so, but now I’m beginning to regret that choice. If we had skimped on some other things to pay for a planner she'd likely be saving me the endless back-and-forth with vendors that I’m dealing with right now. I found out the hard way, too, that if you're planning your nuptials in under six months (this is considered "last minute" in Wedding World), you may be hard-pressed to get the florist/DJ/officiant/string quartet of your choice, especially if you’re getting married in high season, which starts in the autumn in many places.

Be honest (with each other) about who you really want at the wedding. 

Culling the guest list down to my essential family and friends hasn't been so difficult for me, but Fred has worried over leaving some people out, especially work colleagues we almost never socialize with and whom I hardly know. I could invite many more people (and might have done so in my younger years), but not only can we not afford a huge wedding, the idea of talking all night to a bunch of people I don't care that much about just isn't what I want out of my wedding day. What I’m looking forward to the most is the probably not-to-be-repeated chance to have all the people we love most in one room. Stacey concurs: “You may need to be extra-selective about whom to invite if you want to stick to a budget and keep your guest list manageable; after all, by now, you both know a lot of people so it’s easy to over-invite.”

Decide what matters most to each of you and spend there. 

Since I was 16, and we had to plan our ideal wedding in my high school Human Relations class, I’ve known that four things would matter a lot to me: my dress, the cake, flowers, and the photographer. So, I’ve spent more time finding these, and I feel good about the choices I've made for each. I know I should probably care a little more about the dinner, appetizers, and drinks; but those are being handled by our venue, which will also host and manage the ceremony. While these parts of the wedding may not be 100% to my taste, I know the venue will do a very good job, and most important, I don't need to worry about them. For Fred, a classical music lover, the choice of music for the ceremony and reception are paramount, so he's vetting these folks to choose who we go with. Together, we're tackling the rest... rings, vows, invitations, officiant, ceremony readings, and beyond. (For us, the "divide and conquer" approach seems to be working pretty well, though an up-to-date spreadsheet helps a lot.)

Do it your way. 

If you’re anything like me, when you get engaged everyone will tell you to plan your wedding the way you want... choose the location, the date and everything else that works best for you and your fiance. You will do so, and they will complain. Stick to your guns. Trying to please everyone is a sure route to insanity. It is your day, and the people who need to be there almost certainly will find a way to be there. (Remember how many weddings you’ve had to move heaven and earth to attend over the years.) It will all work out, at least that’s what I tell myself. Stacey says she and John knew they would make their wedding their very own: “For the ceremony, we walked each other down the aisle (we’re too old to be given away!) and wrote our own vows. One of my best friends was our celebrant,” she recalls. “John’s … younger daughter read a beautiful passage about the power of having a welcoming, loving home, like the one we’ve created, to come back to after adventures. It was from The Lord of the Rings and incredibly touching!”

Stacey says that in the end, her best advice for anyone planning a wedding when you’re a little (or a lot) older “is to think about the style and vibe you want to create, figure out how much you want to spend, then design your wedding your way,” she stresses. “Think of it as a celebratory party as much as an official union. You’ve earned it at this stage of your life!”

It should be said, too, that for us, marrying later in life means Fred and I can afford to pay for a few more special touches than we otherwise could have had we married in our 20s. Which is very nice. Since we’ve waited a long time for this day, we know that the only real difference between marrying young and marrying not-so-young may be this:

We understand just how remarkable it is to find the right person and we feel profoundly grateful that, finally, we did.

Source:

https://www.getold.com/planning-a-wedding-after-50

7 Things Crazy-In-love Couples Do

Did you know you can transform your relationship in 20 seconds?

If you truly want the best relationship possible, don't leave the fate of your "happily in love" connection to luck or chance. Trust me, couples who thrive for the long-term actively choose behaviors that keep them in a good place with each other.

As a marriage therapist who has been happily married and counseling for 40 years, here are the top 7 habits I see ridiculously happy couples practice faithfully:

1. Spend time together.

It is staggering how many couples come to my office having not spent a single meaningful moment together since their last session. I know, I know — Kids and jobs quickly derail your chances of alone time. But come on! You can't connect if you never spend time together. It's the most obvious and basic step of keeping love alive.

So get with it, pull out your calendars, set a date to spend some time together, and then honor it. Create a space where you can breathe together, that is when meaningful connection and conversations occur.

2. Know your partner's love language.

This one is so important. Just because your mom sang your praises for cleaning up your room doesn't mean your partner is as impressed by the act. We each value different loving behaviors and gestures in our relationship. Often, couples have completely different love languages.

If you don't know what your partner's is, ask. Your honey has probably tried to share theirs, but you may have missed it. So, find out today.

Just ask, "What things have I done that make you feel the most loved?" Perhaps it will be the time you surprised her by cooking dinner. Perhaps his will be just touching him affectionately.

Unsure of what the different love languages are? Make a date to flip through The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman together. Discovering your partner's love language makes showing appreciation and affection truly fun and fulfilling.

3. Commit to 20-second hugs twice a day.

I'm not talking about a polite, A-shaped hug. I mean a hip-to-hip, really holding each other bear hug. Why must it last 20 seconds? Because that's how long it takes for your oxytocin to kick in (otherwise known as "the cuddle hormone"), which gives you that delightful feeling that all is right with the world (and your relationship).

I regularly "prescribe" 20-second hugs to my patients because the gesture is powerful medicine. So, every morning before you leave for work and then again when you get home, spend 20 full seconds in an embrace. I guarantee you, one or both of you will quickly slip into your happy place.

But remember, because it works so well and feels so good, if you skip this ritual too often, your partner will soon feel uncared for. So, commit to it and enjoy it!

4. Learn to listen (without interrupting).

Nothing says "I love you" more than really listening when your partner speaks... about their thoughts, about their feelings. Even about that big meeting with their boss and their stressful busy day.

Authentic listening is a skill most people struggle with. It means shutting off your screens, dialing down your own thoughts, making eye contact, nodding your head in an appreciative way — you know, actually caring and being present. Supportive grunts and high-fives are also appropriate. Bonus points for touching your partner's arm at appropriate moments to show you're genuinely paying attention.

Giving your partner the floor without needing to put in your own two cents (or stealing the spotlight) shows that their thoughts and feelings are as important to you as your own. Just make sure to mirror back what your partner says (without editorial comments, of course). Don't tell them what to do, simply reflect what you heard them say and your understanding of how it impacted them.

5. Keep each other in the loop.

How can you know when to celebrate or commiserate with your partner if they don't keep you informed about what's going on in their life? If your partner believes their entire work future depends on keeping this current client happy, you can suggest dinner out to toast occasions when those happy client moments occur. Or when your partner shares that they're working through tension in a valued family connection, you can smile and show support when they report that speed bump was successfully smoothed over.

We all want and need to come home to someone who carries us in their mind as we face the challenges and joys of our day. Knowing that your partner cares about your life outside of just your relationship together makes you feel protected, cheered for, and like your place on Earth matters.

6. Actually plan your future together (on an actual calendar).

Most of the stuff that matters in relationships won't happen unless it's on the calendar. This includes sex, getting together with friends, and making time to see each other. Making time every month to set goals together will increase your sense that you're on the same journey together, planning a meaningful future that you both prioritize and value.

Remember, you're on a team, so pull together, whether it's around the children, your individual career goals, your sex life, or just figuring out what you want to do this weekend.

7. Reassure each other often.

Everyone needs reassurance from time to time. Don't wait until one of you needs it to give it. Frequently affirming how much you care keeps the other person relaxed and feeling safe in your relationship. Sometimes an out-of-nowhere, heartfelt "I love you" instantly makes up for all of those moments when you didn't understand each other.

And nothing keeps us feeling secure in our relationship like hearing all of the ways our partner appreciates us. It's hard to slip into insecurity about their love when they've just mentioned two reasons why they're so glad you're in their life. 

 

Human beings survive across the ages because our brains evolved with a negativity bias... remaining ever alert to what's possibly wrong. Our brains feed us flashes of every potential danger which often means we're imagining some of them. When you see your partner panic and "make up" a problem, rather than get mad or defensive, reach out to them calmly. They just need some reassurance to quiet that primal part of their brain.

The common thread of the 7 habits above is that they each teach happy couples to focus on what is going right in their relationship versus what is going wrong. So celebrate what you want to see more of.

Compliment instead of criticizing. Deep down we all yearn for the feeling found in the beautiful words of Mr. Rogers: "I love you... just the way you are." Challenge yourself to let go of criticism, and invite your partner to rest in the happiness of being loved for exactly that.

As a marriage counselor and partner to his wife for over 40 years, Dr. Jim Walkup helps couples build their relationship to last a lifetime. Visit his website for a copy of his eBook "A Marriage Counselor’s Secrets To Making Your Marriage Sizzle". Or, if you're in the state of New York, to schedule a Skype appointment or an in-person office appointment, call 914-548-8645 or drop Dr. Walkup an email at jimwalkup@gmail.com

When You Fall In Love With the Guy Who's Still In Love With His Ex

• When you fall for a guy who’s still in love with his ex, you probably won’t realize it at first. He’s hooking up with you.  He’s obviously not that broken up about his last relationship.

• When you fall for a guy who’s still in love with his ex, you may begin to notice that he has good days and bad days. Sometimes it seems like he can’t keep his hands off you, and other days he’s standoffish, impatient, and sharp. Or he treats you with disinterest, or as an irritation.

• When you fall for a guy who’s still in love with his ex, you’ll eventually pick up on the unusual tone in his voice when he speaks of her.  Maybe he brings her up too frequently in conversations and a wistful look comes over his face, or he'll become emotional talking about an incident that made her sad or unhappy.  You’ll awkwardly stand and listen.  You don’t want to rudely interrupt him, but you’d rather discuss just about anything else in the world than this.  Or maybe it’s the opposite – each time you ask a casual question about her, he wears a pained expression and changes the topic as soon as possible. It’s evident that he would rather discuss just about anything else in the world than this.

• When you fall for a guy who’s still in love with his ex, you may spot her name pop up ever so often on his phone, or he may attempt to hide her in his contacts under another name.  You try not to dwell on it.  It’s perfectly normal, in certain situations, for exes to remain friends and nothing inconvenient comes from it.  But something doesn't feel right.  Your intuition kicks in, and you realize the amount of contact going on is not normal, and the secrecy surrounding this contact is definitely not normal.  He's treating this connection with his ex like a man who's having an affair.

This unusual contact with his ex will make you feel like a third wheel.  You won't understand what your role in his life is, and you may even feel like you're interloping on their "husband/wife" relationship.   Finally, you may muster up the courage to utter the dreaded question,  “What are we?”  Because you're honestly not sure.

It took you immense effort to conjure enough confidence to ask this question, and his long stumbling detailed response to this question prompts you to ask another... “Are you still in love with your ex?”

Your boldness takes both of you by surprise. He stares at you, mouth agape, contemplating how he’s going to answer this question, but his hesitation already answered the question for you.  Your next question, "What on earth do you two talk about?" and his long astonished embarrassed silent pause confirms your suspicions.

• Deep down you know that if you fell for a man who wasn’t still in love with his ex, he would have immediately answered these questions with no hesitation.  Better yet, there would have been no signs that compelled you to even ask him about his relationship and feelings for his ex.  The issue would have been non-existent.  Most people, men and women alike, are eager to put their past relationships behind them.  If you suspect someone is not over their ex, you’re probably right.

• If you fall for a guy who’s still in love with his ex, you need to accept it and move on.  It may be hard, really hard, but what’s even harder is living with the knowledge that another woman still occupies his heart. You could put all of your energy into trying to win him over, to show him how much you love him, and how devoted to him and your relationship you are... you could cook all his favorite foods; you could perpetually be ready to have sex at any moment; and you could wait on him hand and foot, being at his every beck and call. But not only will this be futile, you don’t deserve the burden of trying to make room in his heart for you, and you alone.

You deserve a man whose thoughts revolve around you, and only you, as his partner and someone who shares his life.  You deserve someone who chooses you as much as you have chosen them.  You deserve a man who is going to put 100% of himself into the success of your relationship. 

Source:

https://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2016/07/when-you-fall-for-the-guy-who-still-loves-his-ex/

5 Good Reasons for Transparency in a Relationship

Transparency in a romantic relationship is one of the most important, yet perhaps one of the least understood, factors in building a healthy relationship. The lack of importance placed on transparency in relationships likely arises from confusion over what exactly “transparency” means.

Some people interpret transparency to mean that neither partner has any private thoughts, private space, or life apart from their partner. Others interpret transparency as meaning that there is nothing about either individual's life that the other doesn’t have the knowledge and, in some cases, veto power over.

None of these are quite what relationship experts mean by the notion of transparency in romantic partnerships. Rather, healthy transparency in a relationship means that each partner feels fully comfortable to be honest and forthcoming with the other.  It means that issues are brought up directly, and that there is no obfuscation, lying, or hiding.

Transparency in relationships doesn’t mean giving up your private thoughts and personal spaces.  It means having those spaces and allowing your spouse to have access to them, without fearing that something nefarious is going on.

1. Transparency in relationships builds trust

Being transparent with your romantic partner helps to build trust. When you and your significant other know that you can be honest about anything and that you will always engage transparently, it makes it easier to trust one another.

In a transparent relationship, both partners know the other is acting in good faith.  They are less likely to be suspicious of each other both because there is a track record of honesty and because they know direct questions can be asked and answered.

2. Transparency in relationships fosters intimacy

Transparent relationships are ones in which each partner commits to open honest interaction. Such interactions mean that partners get to really know each other on deep levels.

Since no topic is off limits, and each partner knows the other is acting with honesty, it is possible to learn a great deal about your partner’s values, beliefs, experiences, and thoughts. Because transparency also means being heard without judgment, partners may feel more able to be vulnerable in sharing and broaching even difficult topics.

3. Transparency in relationships fosters a low-conflict relationship.

While no relationship is ever without conflict, transparent relationships tend to be low-conflict. This is because there is a deep level of trust between partners that issues will be discussed in a timely, open, and honest fashion, and that each partner is committed to acting with integrity in resolving the problem.

People in transparent relationships also tend to keep short accounts.  They discuss issues as they arise, rather than letting resentment build until all past grievances come rushing out at once.

4. Transparency in relationships makes each partner’s expectations clear

Most people who hide things in a relationship don’t do so because they want to hurt their partner. On the contrary, people hide or lie about things because they don’t want to hurt or disappoint their partner.  Oftentimes, however, these people are operating on a false understanding of what their partner actually expects from the relationship.

Transparency in a relationship allows for negotiation around expectations and discussions of how to navigate mismatched expectations.  When expectations are clear, people are much more likely to be able to meet them, or at least to be honest when they fall short, without hiding out of fear or repercussions.

5. Transparency in relationships foster a sense of security in the relationship

Transparency gives both partners a sense of security in the relationship. They know that there is nothing going on behind-the-scenes that would undermine the health of the relationship, which fosters a sense of well-being and safety.  Transparency can also help to foster a sense of personal security in each partner.

Because each individual knows they can be their full self without judgment, they will feel free to come to their partner for support, and can expect full honesty about any issue... the issues of insecurity that plague many relationships – that you are not enough for your partner; that you will be judged or not heard; that you will have to look outward for support, are reduced or even eliminated.

People who feel secure in their romantic relationship, and who feel that their relationship is secure, are much more likely to invest in continued growth.

There’s a lot to be said for making transparency in your relationship a priority.  Not only does it help to promote trust, reassurance, and peace, but it also enables you as a couple to explore new opportunities and experiences, because you now have elevated trust and intimacy which keeps on growing.

Transparency is a gift to a relationship and one that the wise will cherish.

Source:

http://relationshipsadvice.info/5-reasons-why-wise-couples-cherish-transparency-in-a-marriage/

Relationship Issues ~ Compilation of Links to Blog Posts

The following blog post titles are links that will take you to relationship posts.  If you recognize an issue in this list, follow the link to find out how you can cope with it, or resolve the problem.  You'll also find posts that celebrate and encourage happy partnerships.

Is Your Partner Emotionally Unstable ~ here's a checklist

Narcissists ~ why they deliberately try to make their partners jealous

Emotional Cheating ~ 10 signs that's what you're doing

Are You Spiritually Connected to Your Partner ~ Here's 7 signs you are

If An Ex Contacts You Out-of-the-Blue

Twin Flames ~ Do we all have one?... and other questions

Searching For an Ex On Social Media ~ 13 things you need to know

Mid-Life Crisis ~ the signs and symptoms

When Does Flirting Become Cheating ~ 9 red flags

Cheating and Sexual Addiction ~ 6 Types of Cheaters

Forever Engagements ~ It's a Thing!

Emotional Deprivation Disorder ~ and the inability to maintain healthy relationships

Facebook and Couples ~ browsing separately together

Relationships ~ The Serial Over-lapper

How to Get Revenge on a Cheating Husband

The Myth of the Golden Age of Marriage

8 Signs Someone is Jealous of Your Relationship

15 Signs His Friends Don't Like You

Cougars versus Dirty Old Men

8 Reasons Why Sex is Better After 50

5 Drama-Free Ways to Announce Your Engagement

Chronic Cheaters

Some Ex-cellent Ex-advice

Twin Flames ~ Understanding the Connection

23 (Very Down-to-Earth) Signs You've Met Your Soul Mate

Abandonment Issues ~ How it affects relationships

Dating After Divorce ~ Your Checklist of Do's & Don'ts

Your Ex ~ Signs They Are Over You

10 Signs Revealing His Ex is On His Mind

10 Ways to Tell He's Lying

Second Time Around ~ Should You Remarry Your Ex?

When Your Ex is Stalking You

Seven Ways to Introduce Your Boyfriend After 50

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Breakup

Do's and Don'ts ~ What You Shouldn't be Doing With Anyone But Your Partner

Text Message Cheating

When You Fall In Love With the Guy Whose Still In Love With His Ex

8 Signs Your New Partner is Not Over Their Ex

Dealing With a Jealous Ex-Spouse

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

My Ex-Wife and My New Wife Don't Get Along

Relationships ~ 4 Situations That May Be Considered Cheating

When He's Stuck in a Codependent Relationship with His Ex

The Naked Truth ~ Why Sex After 50 Is Still Hot

Advice for Those With Divorce Regret

Is Talking to Your Ex-Spouse Normal?

Celebrating Soul Mates ~ Signs You've Met Your Soul Mate

Signs He's Still in Love With His Ex

When Someone Responds to Your Boundaries With Anger

Seven Secrets to a Healthy Relationship Over 50

Divorce ~ Cut the Marital Cord Already!

Wedding Showers ~ Creating Sacred Space

Why Falling in Love Over 50 Kicks Ass

What If Your Spouse is Having an Emotional Affair?

Eight Signs You've Met Your Soul Mate

Eight Ways Lying is Poisonous to a Relationship

How To Break It Off With an Ex Who Won't Let Go...

Seven Secrets to a Healthy Relationship Over 50

Whether you've been with the same person for 30 years or you're finding new love half a century into your life, it's always the right time to brush up on your relationship skills or learn new ones. Maybe things have gotten stagnant with your spouse, or maybe you've found that dating has changed since you last tried it.

It's never too late to learn these seven secrets to a successful relationship after fifty.

• 1. Open your heart fearlessly

To be successful in a relationship, you can't be afraid to be yourself and share yourself. Real love requires honesty. Honesty about who you are, what you believe, how you feel, and what you want. Total commitment to reality and honesty supports the integrity of a relationship. You must be open and willing to share, listen, and understand. A happy relationship and a full life require the intention to learn about your partner and yourself and to continue to grow.

• 2. Create emotional safety

Healthy relationships depend on both parties feeling safe with each other, trusting that you are there for each other. Your circle of trust gets more important as you get older and as you must cope with the changes and anxieties that aging involves. For emotional safety to exist, you need to feel that your partner truly hears you, sees you, and accepts you as you are and that he or she wants the best for you. And you must be this way for your partner, too.

• 3. Address conflict in a spirit of love

A successful relationship requires successful conflict. Approach every disagreement with your partner with the intention to listen fully and respond in a spirit of love. Instead of responding in a knee-jerk way when your partner says or does something that upsets you, examine your feelings and mindfully consider what the other person said. It may surprise you how big a gulf there can be between what you think you heard—what you feel you heard—and what your partner actually said. Listen as much or maybe more than you talk, focus on common threads rather than differences and look for a solution that pleases both of you.

• 4. Practice positive communication

The way you communicate with your partner is vital because what you say—and how you say it—affects how your significant other feels, and emotions drive behavior. Some key principles of positive communication:

Avoid negative language. When you use words like no and don’t, you invoke your partner's natural resistance to being controlled. Instead, tell your partner what you want rather than what you don’t want.

Avoid criticism. Remember: Success builds success. Instead of focusing on the things you dislike about your partner, focus first on what he or she does well and connect that to the behavior you'd like to see him or her change.

Give your undivided attention. One of the biggest mistakes I see couples make is that even when they both have the best intentions and follow all the advice they've read online about communication ("I" statements, etc.), they'll answer their cell phone or glance at a text message while talking to their partner. This seemingly small behavior has a big impact on how you make your partner feel. As a marriage and family therapist, the advice I give to all my patients is this: Give someone the focus they deserve.

Tell them what they mean to you. Sometimes you may start to think that your partner can read your heart and you don’t need words. Totally not true. Words are still necessary. Consciously choose to actively show appreciation—finding things to appreciate in your partner to enhance the good feelings between you.

• 5. Support your partner's independence.

No matter how close you are to your significant other, you remain individuals with your own needs and interests. Spending time alone doing your own thing, shows mutual respects, not relationship strain. Advocate for your partner's goals, and accept and support each other’s life goals.

• 6. Enjoy special time together.

Don’t forget to have fun together! It's important to go on new adventures and try new things. Don't have a typical "date night." Instead of dinner and a movie, take a class together or go on a day trip somewhere. As you grow older and face mortality, your relationship with your significant other provides an opportunity to explore your humanity and seek a better and deeper understanding of life.

• 7. Build a relationship with yourself

The relationship we have with ourselves is the key to success for all the relationships we build with others. When you are happy and fulfilled independent of others, you are most attractive to the kind of healthy, happy people you want in your life.

If you're dating for the first time in a long time, don't be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve. It’s the only way people will know what you want and what you're about. If you're celebrating your golden wedding anniversary, remember that even though it may feel you and your partner are one person, you still need to say, "I love you" and show your appreciation. Show affection. Have fun. Have sex! Love with the intensity of a teenager and the wisdom that your years on this earth have given you.

[Source:  Andrea Brandt, PHD ~ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201704/7-secrets-successful-relationship-after-50 ]

Eight Signs You've Met Your Soul Mate

Yes, soul mates exist and this is a real phenomena, just ask me.  The past year of my life led to an amazing and magickal connection unlike anything I've ever experienced.  No, the intensity of the emotions don't calm down with time, but there is a deeper understanding and a larger picture of life together that grows from this connection.

No, you won't necessarily find your soul mate early in life, or with first loves in that early stage of wonder.  Some of us have to wait a life-time.

Below are eight signs that will signal a soul mate connection for you.  Please follow the link below to read the complete article in all of it's wonderful glorious details... you're going to want to be prepared.

• 1.  You Have an Intense Intuition... upon first meeting.
• 2.  You're Best Friends
• 3.  There's Mutual Respect
• 4.  You Have the Same Vision of the Future
• 5.  You Challenge Each Other
• 6.  You Fight for Your Relationship
• 7.  You Can Be Apart, But Prefer Being Together
• 8.  You're Comfortable Being Authentic

SOURCE:  Read the complete article at this link:

http://www.thelawofattraction.com/8-signs-youve-found-soul-mate/

Updates @ The Witch's Corner ~ New Pages/New Merchandise

There are four new pages at The Witch's Corner ripe with magickal merchandise for your specific needs.  Click on the images below...

Woman Speak 3-6-2015

This week the goddess is Airmed.  The topics are herbs and green witchcraft.  Our project-- we're going to create a Witch's Bottle for Love Magick.  You'll also find a section at this video on precautions for love magick, encouraging common sense, as well as the use of mundane efforts to keep your life running smoothly, and to keep yourself safe.  The National Domestic Abuse Hotline number will be found at the end of this video.

 

 

My Life...Right Now

 

Love Life...I am relishing my time with my husband Joe.  I think that people who've had to spend more of their life searching for their Soul Mate will appreciate the circumstances and the coupling more deeply when they finally make that magickal connection.  It's not something that we take for granted-- having come through several less than satisfactory relationships to get to this point, I can tell you.

 

Do we fight? You bet your sweet booty we do.  We're both very strong and independent individuals.  But we love each other deeply, so we don't stay angry with one another for very long, and neither of us is happy with life when anything is off kilter between us-- it makes the whole world feel slightly ajar.

 

And then...making up is a lot of fun. :)

 

I've never felt so connected to anyone in my life-- this man calls me the moment he clocks out from work, as he's on the way home; we very rarely go anywhere one without the other; he is the first person I see in the morning and the last person I see before I go to sleep at night.  When he gets home from work, in the wee hours, we will spend two or three hours talking, watching a movie-- and laughing...laughing...laughing.  (The kids must think we're nuts.)  I've never laughed so much in my life with anyone-- it is absolutely the most wonderful thing.

 

I would tell my daughters-- "Don't marry a man who can't make you laugh."

 

It's a "forever" thing, My Joe.

 

 

Work...As everyone probably knows (and is tired of hearing about), yes, I'm still working on my next book.  I've never revealed what it's about, but I'll give you a teaser now:  it's a book specifically written for women, to inspire women, to uplift women, to help women.  It is the most important close-to-my-heart project I've ever worked on and is the most important thing I've ever written.

 

This is a book women will read to find inspiration and empowerment; and it's a book men will read to better understand women.

 

And that's all I can say on this subject right now.

 

I would love to do more tarot readings, but in our area there just isn't a strong market for this type of thing, and readings through other means (email, phone, etc.) comes and goes in spurts, which makes it undependable as income, even though it's a lot of fun and very rewarding.

 

There might be other projects coming up (and some in the works), but for now, at this moment, I've got to stay focused on The Book.

 

 

Kids...This summer my oldest daughter will turn 40, and my youngest daughter will turn 14.  Isn't that amazing?  Between Joe and I, we have nine (that's 9) kids.  It makes life interesting, to say the least.  Most everyone gets along with everyone, most of the time, but we do have our trials and tribulations, just as any family will.

 

One just got her first car, another a Learner's Permit; some have had changes in jobs; new apartments; a new managerial position in a local store; a new job in Omaha; breakups with beaus; wedding anniversaries; cross country trips, etc., etc., etc.

 

We have our calm and quiet times, and then again, we'll have some life crisis going on-- never a dull moment.  They're all good kids.

 

 

Thoughts...

 

I'm delighted to have discovered another lady who enjoys the ghost-busting/house blessing venture; someone who can inspire me to pick up Reiki studies where I left off and who will move me on to the next level; someone who enjoys all the marvelous spiritual paths and magickal activities out there, and who loves to learn and study.  It's also just plain fun to find a kindred spirit, a "Sister" in this big wide world.

 

I'm waiting for something, been waiting for something, and am now tired of waiting for something.  When it finally does dawn, I'm afraid that it will seem anti-climactic now.

 

I want, more than ever, to start a little tarot & tea shop, and I've actually found the perfect building, which just happens to be for sale.  But there is the question of financing.  We're still trying to recover financially from my husband's broken foot last summer and the accompanying doctor & hospital bills.  Money is still very tight right now; so in order to take on this endeavor, I would need financial backers.  I'm in the midst of mulling this one over-- the building is just so perfect!

 

So far, for the summer...this is my life in a nutshell.

 

 

 

Love After 50

When someone totally unexpected comes into your life, it shakes it all up, turning everything upside down/inside out...it changes everything.  It changes what you thought you wanted; it changes your plans for the future; it opens new doors; it quietly closes old ones; and it opens your heart and mind to life's adventures.

"Take me by the hand", I tell this man, "and I'll follow you anywhere."

The sudden realization of complete trust and unconditional love is an overwhelming wonderment, one of humanity's miracles.  It's as amazing to find yourself giving it, as well as receiving it.