Thursday, October 10, 2019

5 Good Reasons for Transparency in a Relationship

Transparency in a romantic relationship is one of the most important, yet perhaps one of the least understood, factors in building a healthy relationship. The lack of importance placed on transparency in relationships likely arises from confusion over what exactly “transparency” means.

Some people interpret transparency to mean that neither partner has any private thoughts, private space, or life apart from their partner. Others interpret transparency as meaning that there is nothing about either individual's life that the other doesn’t have the knowledge and, in some cases, veto power over.

None of these are quite what relationship experts mean by the notion of transparency in romantic partnerships. Rather, healthy transparency in a relationship means that each partner feels fully comfortable to be honest and forthcoming with the other.  It means that issues are brought up directly, and that there is no obfuscation, lying, or hiding.

Transparency in relationships doesn’t mean giving up your private thoughts and personal spaces.  It means having those spaces and allowing your spouse to have access to them, without fearing that something nefarious is going on.

1. Transparency in relationships builds trust

Being transparent with your romantic partner helps to build trust. When you and your significant other know that you can be honest about anything and that you will always engage transparently, it makes it easier to trust one another.

In a transparent relationship, both partners know the other is acting in good faith.  They are less likely to be suspicious of each other both because there is a track record of honesty and because they know direct questions can be asked and answered.

2. Transparency in relationships fosters intimacy

Transparent relationships are ones in which each partner commits to open honest interaction. Such interactions mean that partners get to really know each other on deep levels.

Since no topic is off limits, and each partner knows the other is acting with honesty, it is possible to learn a great deal about your partner’s values, beliefs, experiences, and thoughts. Because transparency also means being heard without judgment, partners may feel more able to be vulnerable in sharing and broaching even difficult topics.

3. Transparency in relationships fosters a low-conflict relationship.

While no relationship is ever without conflict, transparent relationships tend to be low-conflict. This is because there is a deep level of trust between partners that issues will be discussed in a timely, open, and honest fashion, and that each partner is committed to acting with integrity in resolving the problem.

People in transparent relationships also tend to keep short accounts.  They discuss issues as they arise, rather than letting resentment build until all past grievances come rushing out at once.

4. Transparency in relationships makes each partner’s expectations clear

Most people who hide things in a relationship don’t do so because they want to hurt their partner. On the contrary, people hide or lie about things because they don’t want to hurt or disappoint their partner.  Oftentimes, however, these people are operating on a false understanding of what their partner actually expects from the relationship.

Transparency in a relationship allows for negotiation around expectations and discussions of how to navigate mismatched expectations.  When expectations are clear, people are much more likely to be able to meet them, or at least to be honest when they fall short, without hiding out of fear or repercussions.

5. Transparency in relationships foster a sense of security in the relationship

Transparency gives both partners a sense of security in the relationship. They know that there is nothing going on behind-the-scenes that would undermine the health of the relationship, which fosters a sense of well-being and safety.  Transparency can also help to foster a sense of personal security in each partner.

Because each individual knows they can be their full self without judgment, they will feel free to come to their partner for support, and can expect full honesty about any issue... the issues of insecurity that plague many relationships – that you are not enough for your partner; that you will be judged or not heard; that you will have to look outward for support, are reduced or even eliminated.

People who feel secure in their romantic relationship, and who feel that their relationship is secure, are much more likely to invest in continued growth.

There’s a lot to be said for making transparency in your relationship a priority.  Not only does it help to promote trust, reassurance, and peace, but it also enables you as a couple to explore new opportunities and experiences, because you now have elevated trust and intimacy which keeps on growing.

Transparency is a gift to a relationship and one that the wise will cherish.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.