Jealousy is most often caused by low self-esteem, insecurity, and fear of abandonment. The fact that jealousy is caused by personal fears explains why divorced people so often feel jealous of their ex-spouse, even though the jealousy makes no logical sense. After all, most divorced couples have no emotional connections with each other, so why feel jealous? In spite of being an irrational feeling, feeling jealous of an ex-spouse happens all the time, especially when he or she begins dating, gets engaged, introduces his or her new love to the children, or gets married and starts a new family.
Causes of Jealousy
Jealousy and Control
Interfering with Relationships
Dealing with Jealousy
Feeling jealous of an ex-spouse is difficult to control because it’s caused by irrational anxieties and fear of loss. If you are divorced, even if it wasn’t your idea, that relationship is over, and you need to get on with your own life. Focusing on a lost relationship is neither healthy nor productive. If you are feeling jealous of your ex-spouse, it’s probably because you are feeling insecure, dependent, or fear being abandoned again. Your best strategy is to see a counselor. Once you feel better about yourself, the jealousy will disappear.
Harry Munsinger practices collaborative and estate law in San Antonio. He has over twenty years experience resolving disputes involving divorce, probate, wills, and trusts. Harry was an adjunct law professor at the University of Texas and St. Mary’s University. He has published several textbooks and over forty psychological and legal articles. Harry has been a forensic psychology expert, a licensed psychologist and a litigator.