Did you know there are several kinds of "soul mates"?

 
I did not know this.  

I've found another wonderful blog out there penned by a professional intuitive who gives readings to clients all over the world and is the author of seven nonfiction books.  Follow this link to learn more:

The source for this post:

mindbodygreen.com
author: Tanya Carroll Richardson

click HERE

Are there people you feel you were destined to meet, or people who make you feel at home whenever you're around them? Those same people might occasionally drive you nuts, or even contribute to your most transformational wounds. These are people with whom you have a strong soul connection, or what we often refer to as soul mates.

What is a soul connection?

A soul connection is when two people feel they are linked on a soul level in a significant or extraordinary way. It's the sense that your link transcends the earth plane, transcending the practical details of your relationship, like being co-workers or lovers, and that something much more brought you together or is at play. You might feel you have known each other in a past life, or that your souls agreed before this life to meet up now.

"When I hear someone use the word soul mate, it often seems to connote exclusivity," Tess Whitehurst, spiritual teacher and bestselling author, tells mbg. Whitehurst, who has been in a romantic relationship with the same partner for 20 years, feels that the opposite is true -- we, in fact, have many soul mates. And as we're all part of a common humanity, or spiritual consciousness, we're actually all linked on a soul level.

How do you recognize a soul mate? Let's look at different types of soul connections, remembering there can certainly be overlap. Someone could be your soul mate in many different ways.

Types of soul mates:

1. Soul partners

There are certain souls you agreed to partner with in this lifetime -- the most common type of soul mate. You might have agreed to be best friends, in-laws, raise children together, or open a business together. A soul partnership could be with someone you know intimately for your whole life, like a beloved sibling, or it can be with someone you barely know for a short time, like an influential person in your industry who offers you a big break in your career. Soul partners are specifically designed to help support you in this life emotionally, professionally, or in any other way you require to accomplish and experience what your soul planned to do here on earth. None of us can do this life alone, and soul partnerships remind us how beautifully, masterfully, and intricately our lives are woven together.

2. Soul ties

When you feel a soul tie, it's simply the sense that another soul is in your life for a reason. For example, if your life is very busy, yet you meet a new potential friend or potential business partner, the sense that you have a soul tie to this person could inspire you to make room in your life for the relationship. Perhaps you're not in the market for a pet, but when a friend says they need to give up their pet because they have to move overseas unexpectedly, your clairsentient, or feeling, psychic pathway might give you the feeling that you have a soul tie with this animal and bringing it into your home is the right thing to do for both of you. You might think of soul ties as the ties that bind, like the Bruce Springsteen song!

3. Past-life soul mates

Many Eastern religions and philosophies discuss the concept of past lives. I can always tell when a client has met someone they knew well in a past life by the way they describe the connection. If the connection is manifesting as a romance, they might say, "I've never felt this way before!" When two souls have shared a significant past life together (or perhaps several), and if they meet again in this life, they may be inexplicably drawn to each other and the sexual chemistry can be off the charts.

What these people are feeling is the built-up energy over other lifetimes together and a soul recognition. Although you can have a soul recognition with any type of soul mate, the past-life ones (whether you were at odds or best friends in a past life) are extremely powerful. According to Brian Weiss, M.D., psychiatrist and past-life regression expert, two souls could agree to reincarnate and navigate toward each other after spending 1,000 earth years apart, which is quite romantic!

Yet just because you had a significant past life with someone and are feeling all the feelings, it doesn't necessarily mean you are supposed to partner, romantically or otherwise, in this lifetime. Judge the relationship by who you both are today and how you treat each other now. If you suspect a past-life connection with a current lover, try to bring more healing to the situation, even if you break up. This might look like releasing them with love, wishing them well yet out of your life. Often when souls come back together in this lifetime, they are looking to heal something or do better this time around.

4. Karmic soul mates

Karmic soul mates are sometimes called "wrecking ball soul mates." But instead of thinking of karma as good or bad, or a system of punishment and reward, think of it as merely a neutral energy of cause and effect. The earth plane is very much a dimension of cause and effect. We create karma with other people all the time, through both small and significant interactions. Every interaction with another person creates energy that can turn into karma. This isn't anything to fear, but something to be mindful of. Karmic relationships may come into our lives as change agents who facilitate (through positive, negative, or neutral interactions) opportunities or invitations to improve our karma (how we operate in our lives and the world) so we can grow and evolve. Keep in mind that the soul craves new experiences, growth, and evolution.

5. Romantic soul mates

After giving thousands of intuitive readings to clients all over the world, there are a few things I know for sure, as Oprah would say. One is that when we enter a significant romantic relationship, or fall in love, there's a possibility we'll partner with this person. What's not only possible but definite is that we are being given the opportunity to heal, learn, and grow because of the relationship. Even in the happiest or healthiest relationships, romantic soul mates can tend to tap dance on your biggest wounds, or challenge you in uncomfortable ways. When two souls enter a romantic relationship, they're also entering a classroom together.

I've had many clients who met their ideal partner and said, "I feel like I've been waiting my whole life to meet this person." It's always worth the wait! Find ways to fall in love with life, work on believing a great romantic relationship is possible for you, and get help to heal those romantic wounds from the past.

6. Twin flames

This popular term describes an intense soul connection, and some people believe twin flames are actually one soul that was split into two bodies. According to the theory, twin flames can love, challenge, teach, and heal each other in a unique and powerful way. Yet Whitehurst cautions against feeling like you need another person to complete yourself. Just remember, there can be a shadow side of trying to fit people into a certain category in your life, including a spiritual category. While some believe the twin flame is the ultimate romantic experience, remember, every relationship you enter with another person (romantic or otherwise) has the potential to help you achieve more enlightenment.

7. Companion soul mates, aka soul mate friends

Not all soul mates are romantic ones. Your companion soul mates, aka soul mate friends, can be equally important in your life. If you think of earthly life as a temporary journey for the soul, as some spiritual people do, you'll want to have interesting supportive companions for the trip, just like any character in an epic story or legend picks up companions along the way. Think of them as spiritual sidekicks, people who seemed destined to be in your path so you both, in turn, can give each other love and encouragement when needed to keep going on your earthly odyssey. Don't underestimate the importance of soul mate friends. Whether they are in your life for the long haul, or just a few months, soul companions are necessary nourishment. Just like the human body needs food and water, the soul requires companion soul mates.

8. Soul families and soul groups

Large groups of souls can be linked in soul families. This can show up as actual family members in this lifetime, like a cousin who is not only part of your earthly family but also your soul family, or as people working toward common goals who never meet, like activists around the globe working for a similar cause, or spiritual seekers working to bring more love and awareness to the planet. Sometimes one soul will incarnate to try to help heal something in the family line, like a pattern of addiction, abuse, or disease.

9. Kindred spirits

Kindred spirits aren't always soul mates, but they can certainly be. Kindred spirits are simply people who really understand you. You might feel a kindred spirit is someone who shares the same spiritual beliefs you have, or agrees with you about cultural issues to the point you could finish each other's sentences. A kindred spirit might also be someone who has had a similar life experience to yours, like you are both elementary school teachers, both have newborn babies, and are both married to working artists. It's incredibly peaceful to be with another soul who just gets it, or you.

10. Soul contracts

Intuitive and spiritual teacher Robert Ohotto describes soul contracts as agreements you made on a soul level to do certain things in this lifetime. You might have a soul contract to mentor a certain child or write a certain book. These contracts can be renegotiated, so if you're in a toxic situation, leave or change the dynamic to a healthier one. Yet feeling you have a soul contract to do something challenging, like start your own business, can give you the inspiration and stamina to make it through the difficult moments of that journey. Knowing if you have a soul contract around something or someone in your life is all about learning to follow your intuition.

11. Soul teachers

A healer or mentor can come into your life, via divine timing, because they're a soul mate teacher. It could be the college professor who encourages you to go after a certain major or career path, or the counselor or naturopath who teaches you how to better manage your anxiety. Sometimes a soul mate might show up to teach you by challenging you to do something different from what they're recommending, teaching you the value of thinking for yourself. Soul mate teachers are very special sacred relationships, and each of us has been in both roles -- student and teacher -- whether we realized it at the time or not.

12. Soul crossings

Have you ever heard the cliché "ships that pass in the night"? It's a phrase used to describe someone who comes into your life but the timing and circumstances are not conducive to a long-term relationship. This phenomenon can happen with friends, or lovers, or colleagues, when for a short amount of time you are thrown together and share amazing experiences and awakenings.

Even if someone doesn't stay in your life long, like a freelancer who works at your company for nine months and with whom you become close to until they move to the other side of the country, or a lover you meet on a retreat and four months later they tragically pass, it's still a soul connection. In the case of the friend, you two might always treasure your time together and the lessons you've learned, but your lives are too busy to keep up the friendship in a significant way. In the case of the lover who passed, you might think of this person fondly for the rest of your life, or even consider them a spirit guide. Soul crossings teach us not to judge the importance or depth of a soul connection by the length of the relationship.

The Soul Mate/Twin Flame Thing ~ Clarification, and did you meet yours yet?

 

So have you met your soul  mate, or more than one of them, since apparently you can have more than one.  Or have you met your twin flame, and apparently you only have one of these, and thank gawds, because they don't necessarily sound very fun -- kind of a troubled, on again/off again relationship with lots of static and issues.

I don't know if I've met my soul mate yet or not, and I guess this statement would leave me to think that I probably haven't, and who knows if we all do.  Maybe some of us don't.  I know I haven't met a twin flame yet, because I've never met anyone I've broken up with or divorced and with whom I would want to reconnect, but I do know a couple people who have done this, my grandmother is one of them, and from my vantage point it looks pretty messed up to me, the stuff of mental turmoil and drama, maybe that's what these people thrive on.

Anyway, I'm trying to figure this all out, just like all of you, and I find it the stuff of fascinating legends and myth.  I happened upon the following article, and let's see if this one presents a clearer picture than I've seen before.  

However you look at it, soul mates and twin flames are a mystery, and we all love a good mystery.

The source for this post:

theverygirl.com
author: Beth Gillette

click HERE

Have you ever met someone and immediately knew they were meant to be in your life? Maybe talking to them felt like talking to an old friend, even though you’d just met, or maybe you suddenly couldn’t picture a future without them in it. Not to get all woo-woo on you, but it might not just be your imagination. You might have met your soulmate, or twin flame: someone who’s intertwined with your soul. So, what does it mean if you didn’t feel this cosmic connection with your partner? First, let’s get into the difference.

• What is a Soulmate?

To put it simply, soulmates are two souls that are destined to be together. But don’t get it twisted: Your soulmate can be platonic too (I stand by that because Charlotte, Miranda, Carrie, and Samantha are each others’ soulmates!). You and your soulmate might meet and click automatically (like your work-wife-turned-BFF). “A soulmate is a person you feel so connected to that the relationship runs smoothly because of the strong bond and compatibility,” said Dr. Mya Bellinger, a medical practitioner who specializes in internal medicine.

A soulmate connection will pale in comparison to other relationships you’ve had in the past. A soul mate connection will often feel very easy because you two souls will always find a way to compromise and make your relationship work. “It is with the soulmate that you finally start to ask genuine questions about yourself and love, you begin to face the answers that you’ve been avoiding, and you grow,” said Celebrity Love Architect Kailen Rosenberg.

You have many soulmates out there, so your best friend, sibling, and partner could all be soulmate connections.

• How do I know when I’ve met my soulmate?

A soulmate connection will feel easy and expand your greatness. It might feel too good to be true, especially if relationships in the past have felt like a full-time job trying to understand each other. You might feel like you’ve known them your whole life, even if you just met, and you might be more vulnerable than you’ve ever been before.

• What is a Twin Flame?

On the other hand:  "A Twin flame is a kind of relationship where the same soul is cut in two, or a mirror of each other,” said Samantha Moss, editor & content ambassador at Romantific. “This is one soul that shares an intense connection because they mirror each other’s weaknesses, emotional damages, and insecurities.” So, if you wondered why Taylor Swift called J*ke Gyll*nh*al her twin flame in “All Too Well (10-Minute Version),” now you know. Your twin flame isn’t always your perfect match because you two can bring out negative sides of each other.  However, twin flames often learn a lot from each other.

Because these relationships can be so transforming, some experts believe you can’t meet your soulmate without having learned the necessary lessons from a twin flame connection first.

But what if you’re dating and in love with your twin flame? Don’t panic. Twin flames teach us a lot about ourselves, and when aligned, you can also bring out the best in each other. These relationships might not come with as much ease as a soulmate connection, but you can end up extremely happy with your twin flame for the rest of your life.

• How Do I Know When I've Met My Twin Flame?

Did you ever meet someone and wonder how you could possibly be so alike? A twin flame is like a mirror version of yourself. You may be surprised by how similar you are and how natural conversation feels.

But if you haven’t met your twin flame yet, don’t feel like you need to plan a cross-country road trip in search of them. Not everyone will have a twin flame, and that’s OK, it just makes finding your soulmate that much easier.

 

• What’s the Difference Between a Soulmate and a Twin Flame?

While they share similarities, you’ll feel like you were destined to meet them and they can both bring a lot of healing and growth to your life, they’re also very different connections. The main difference is that while your twin flame is two halves of the same soul, soulmates are two souls that belong together. Because of this, twin flames aren’t always your perfect match in terms of romantic relationships or friendships, whereas once soulmate connections meet, it’s difficult to ever imagine them apart. “A twin flame relationship is meant to challenge us in order to get you closer to the best version of yourself,” said Amy Javier, Intuitive Wellness Guide.

If you’re looking for long-lasting committed romantic love, you’ll find that with your soulmate. Javier explained that unlike twin flames, soulmates are a “reflection of all your great qualities.” While you can end up with your twin flame, a romantic soulmate connection is more likely to last long term.

In this vein, the same person cannot be your soulmate and twin flame. You also can meet many soulmates in your lifetime, but you only have one twin flame.

 

• Should I Be With My Twin Flame or Soulmate?

One connection isn’t necessarily “better” than the other, as both can lead you to grow and can have long-term success. This all depends on how you’re looking to grow and the work you’ve already done. Twin flames can be more intense and chaotic, but they teach us a lot about ourselves. Maybe you had a whirlwind romance in your early 20s that taught you how to love and broke your heart into a million pieces, and now you’re dating in your 30s, ready to meet your soulmate. Perhaps you just ended a long-term relationship and are looking for an intense kind of love that will change your life. Platonically, a twin flame could be the toxic best friend that turned everything between you two into a competition, or it could be your sibling who feels like your other half. It truly all depends on where you’ve been and where you’re going. 

• What If I’m Non-Monogamous?

The idea of soulmates and twin flames in relationships is antiquated for some, as it entirely relies on monogamy to work. The concept that there’s one single person out there for everyone goes against all the various types of relationships people may have, especially those who practice ethical non-monogamy and polyamory.

• How Do I Find Mine?

Don’t put too much pressure on finding your soulmate or twin flame, as they will come naturally into your life. “The point of understanding both types is not to seek out these types in romantic relationships, but to allow yourself to vibrate at a level that encourages your connection with someone who matches that vibration,” said Rev. Lisann Valentin, shamanic amplifier and intuitive coach.

Valentin explained that you’re a magnet for your twin flame and soulmate connections, but you have to do the self-love work to get there. “Trust that your light will act as a beacon to bring you whatever experience your soul calls for... be it a soulmate, or your twin flame.”

Are You Spiritually Connected to Your Partner ~ here's 7 signs you are

• 1. Your instincts work at their best

You just know this person is right for you. There’s no reason for it. You simply know it and there’s no room for any doubt. When you are spiritually connected with someone, your instinct works well, and you don’t have any logical reason for it.

• 2. You feel extremely secure, both emotionally and physically

When you are spiritually connected with someone, their presence calms you. All your anxiety, nervousness, and fears go away in their presence. You feel safe when they are around, and you feel like you can take over the world with them by your side. Their presence alone makes you feel calm and peaceful.

• 3. You feel liberated around them

You find a free flow of expression whenever you are with them. There’s no restlessness in you.  Nothing holds you back. There’s an immense sense of liberation within you, and you feel free to be whomever you truly are.

• 4. You feel you have known them since ages, even if you have met recently

Their presence strikes a chord in you. It occurs to you that you have known them in a previous life, and it’s quite unbelievable for you that the two of you have only recently met. There’s some sort of familiarity in them which draws you closer to them and makes you feel you are spiritually connected with them.

• 5. You trust them blindly

You don’t even blink an eye before trusting them. You just know that they are the ones you should be trusting, and not just because you are drawn to them, but also because they are good and trustworthy people. There is something about them that always makes you believe them, and you feel that if you can’t trust them, you can’t trust anybody.

• 6. You communicate in silence

Silence is one of the ways the two of you communicate. When you are with someone you are spiritually connected with, you don’t need to express your joy, or anxiety, or fear. They are empathically aware of how you feel. They understand your moods and reciprocate, and they know exactly what to do to make you feel better.

• 7. You have deep conversations with them

Conversations with them are never shallow. You always explore your inner self when you are with them. When you are spiritually connected with someone, you have deep conversations, each one of which ends in an increase in your knowledge of yourself and the world around you. Every conversation with them is enriching, eye-opening, and emotionally and intellectually stimulating.

SOURCE:

themindsjournal.com
author:  Emilia Gordon

To read the complete article,

click  HERE

Twin Flames ~ Do we all have one?... and other questions

 

Definition:  A twin flame is an incredibly intense soul connection. A more apt description of a twin flame is a “mirror soul” or a person’s “other half.”

What are the signs of a Twin Flame?

1. Instant Recognition and Intense Attraction.
2. Synchronicity.
3. Intense Emotions.
4. Amplified Insecurities and Doubts.
5. Feeling Drawn to the Other Person.
6. The Relationship Is Turbulent.
7. You're On-Again, Off-Again.
8. You're Inspired to Be a Better Person.

What's a Twin Flame & How Do You Know If You've Found Yours?

You’ve heard of soul mates, but what about twin flames? While the two concepts might seem similar, they’re significantly different.

While there’s a lack of scientific evidence proving that twin flames exist, some psychologists say the phenomenon is real — and worth exploring... (click the title link to continue reading)

Are Twin Flames meant to be?

Twin flame relationships are thought to be the most intense relationships we can have in our lives -- but they're not always meant to last. Sometimes, twin flames go through a separation period, and whether the separation ends up being permanent depends on that particular pair.

Why Twin Flames Separate & What To Do If It Happens

But make no mistake: Twin Flame relationships are also challenging and can quickly become toxic when one or both parties aren't ready. "The very fact that a person believes you are "meant to be'" can cloud their judgment about issues in the relationship," Spinelli notes... (click the title link to continue reading)

Can Twin Flames look alike?

Their souls are similar, but their genes are not, which means some of their physical appearances will be similar, and some will not be. For example, the facial structure of both twin flames will likely be different.

Do Twin Flames Look Alike?

Twin flames often have the same eyes, whether it’s eye color or eye shape. This is because Twin Flames come from the same soul, which means they have the same energy signature. The energy signature is what’s reflected in their eyes.

...If one twin flame looks into the other twin flame’s eyes, they will see their own reflection because their energy signature is the same. Other people will often pick up the similarity because energy comes through the eyes... (click the title link to continue reading)

Do you only have one Twin Flame?

The difference between the two is you can have many different soul mates in life, but you only have one twin flame. Your twin flame is the person who simply understands you the most out of everyone you meet.

The Seven Stages of  Connection You'll Experience If You Find Your Twin Flame

Your Twin Flame is someone who makes you feel like you're meeting a part of yourself that you have yet to discover, but somehow feels incredibly familiar. This person adds to your life in ways that no one else has before. They don’t complete you — because you’re complete all on your own — but they complement you in ways that support your personal growth... (click the title link to continue reading)

How do you know if you've met your Soul Mate or your Twin Flame?

Whether you encounter a Soul Mate or your Twin Flame, the theory surrounding how you will feel is the same. The bond will be deep and meaningful from the offset. Whether you have known this person for five minutes or five years, the pull that you feel will be hard to resist...

How to Tell the Difference Between Your Soul Mate and Your Twin Flame

Do you believe certain people are fated to be in your life? If you’ve ever met a stranger and felt an almost magnetic pull toward them, there could be a reason for that. The theory of Soul Mates and Twin Flames suggests that this individual shares an ancient connection with you. They are part of the very fabric of your soul. So, what’s the difference between these individuals, and how will you know when you meet each of them?... (click the title link to continue reading)

Does everyone have a Twin Flame?

No. Twin Flame connections are very rare as they require a split in the soul to be created. Those who don't have a twin flame have yet to experience this fracture.

Twin Flames ~ Understanding the Connection

 

Over the past few years, our collective karma has accelerated dramatically. More people have been meeting their twin flames or are realizing they have had this unusual encounter.

When twin flames meet, they recognize each other and remain energetically linked through life, as they fulfill a deep catalystic mission in each other’s further life course.

Here are some interesting facts to know about twin flames.

• The Meeting

You will meet your twin flame in the settings where and when you least expect a romantic encounter.

The meeting will bring a sudden rise of energy and a state of euphoria, followed by a deep melancholic feeling of something “long gone missing”, suddenly right now.

• Developing a Connection

You’ll meet again in unexpected circumstances, brought back together by some unusual synchronicity. 

You feel you “recognize” that person rather than gradually getting to know them. You may be struck by a sudden thought like “Oh, it’s you! Where have you been?!” Your spiritual and emotional connection grows intense already at the early stages of acquaintance. You both bump into signs that bluntly bring you back to one another.

Somewhere at this point you may hear your twin flame drop a phrase like “I am your reflection” or “I am your personal messiah” and so on. Your interest and attraction to each other will keep on growing. 

You both will just be wondering what is going on.

• The Merging

Twin flames will share a few unforgettable encounters together where they will both feel “drunk on happiness”. But will part shortly after, overwhelmed by the intensity of a connection and not knowing what to do next.

• The Separation

Twin flames separate and move on further with their lives. However, they develop a strong telepathic connection and continue communicating through thought forms and shared dreaming.

The less physical contact TFs have in separation, the keener they feel each other on a distance. Both will try to start new relationships or concentrate on their current partners.

This, however, won’t be leaving them satisfied – in the depth of their heart something will be missing. Both start to investigate and read more about the peculiarity of an experience they shared, and here is where they often come across the term “twin flames”.

• Twin Flames and Loyalty

There is an interesting phenomenon of twin flames' loyalty. TFs separate for years but nevertheless have a feeling of belonging to each other. Being with other partners feels like cheating. There is always a silent phantom of a "third". It’s unreasonable, doesn’t make sense, but it’s there.

• Twin Flames and Soul Mates

Unlike the relationship with a twin flame that always brings you unrest, relationships with soul mates go effortless and smooth.

The reason is that soul mates secure our zones of comfort, keeping it safe and familiar for us to be in. While twin flames push each others comfort zones to edges, and protective walls of fortresses are shaking.

• Facing the Self

Twin flames will feel like running back to what felt normal and familiar, but at some point, they won’t feel satisfied with their older versions anymore. It’s like their twin has shown them that they can be better, and keeping the status quo is like lying to yourself. Personal changes are inevitable.

• Other Interesting Facts About Twin Flames

1. Both TFs have noticeable similarities in physique or personality. Both TFs feel each other well on a distance and often share the same moods and physical symptoms. If one twin is in pain, another one will have similar phantom-like sensations.
2. In separation twin flames oftentimes feel illogically angry at each other, being jealous of each others popularity and competitive in their achievements. Both twins feel the depth of a connection and admit there is a certain mystery about each other that they cannot completely figure out.
3. Twin flames’ birth dates may repeat the numbers or follow each other. There is always an interesting math or play of numbers involved between the two...  For example, when I summed the letters of my first and second names and those of my twin flame, we both got 11 / 11. 11:11 is a code of twin flames, mirrored aspects of the 2; numbers of the Fibonacci sequence, and the signature of your energetic and spiritual ascension. You may start seeing 11, 10, 0, 1, 7, 8, 22 and repetitive numbers more often. You’ll notice significant changes in all aspects of your life.

• When Twin Flames Reunite

Twin flames don’t reunite easily in the form of a regular romantic relationship. As long as we try to enforce it, it will be slipping away. Much personal and self-developmental work has to be done first on the part of both before the union is possible, and external obstacles are only a reflection of TFs current internal un-readiness.

As long as you keep thinking “He or she has to change so we can be together”, you are still not ready. You get closer to reunion when You are starting to change. Twin flames always instigate each other to develop further – that is their real esoteric purpose, and that is why they keep each other in unrest.

In a direct or an indirect way they always ‘help’ each other understand what in themselves is missing for completeness.

Twin flames give us the phantom of a home that we are longing to go back to. But each walks there at their own pace on their own road.

The source for this blog post:

https://themindsjournal.com/twin-flames/

23 (Very Down-to-Earth) Signs You've Found Your Soul Mate

 

• 1. You enjoy doing boring things together like shopping, going to the pharmacy or filing tax returns.

• 2. You have a better time eating out on the sofa than having dinner in a three-star restaurant.

• 3. One of the things you like the most about him is being able to eat anything you want without worrying about what he will think.

• 4. The moment you really fell for him was after seeing him sleep, his face relaxed with his mouth open.

• 5. And you’re just as comfortable with the idea that he sees yours … drooling and everything.

• 6. Obviously, you like it when you are on your 31. But you both just as much like to see yourselves in pajamas, or your favorite worn t-shirt, natural!

• 7. You cherish his handwritten cards and little words, even more than any expensive gift he has given you.

• 8. He reminds you of such and such a thing whenever necessary and vice versa.

• 9. No smartphone required. You have a lot more fun with your little corner smiles after a shared private joke during a meal, or at any other moment of sharing that you are the only ones to understand.

• 10. He excels in encouraging speeches, but nevertheless refuses to pamper you too much.

• 11. You talk – and laugh – openly about how the body works.

• 12. When you go to a wedding together, what you prefer is not necessarily the moment of emotion but simply the act of enjoying a quiet corner in a cozy huddle.

• 13. You have developed your own lexicon: words and expressions invented or not but which have a special meaning for you.

• 14. You know each other so well that you would probably answer 9 of the 10 questions we would ask him about Action or Truth.

• 15. The sweet little words that you use in your private conversations are not so sweet… They are rather nicknames such as: “idiot” or “buddy”. And in fact, you prefer as much as it is.

• 16. You don’t feel sick when he has the flu or is sick, because all you care about is taking care of him.

• 17. His problems and issues are your problems and issues, and vice versa. 

• 18. You can experience moments of silence without being embarrassed.

• 19. In fact, relaxing together in complete silence without feeling the need to find topics for discussion is one of the things you prefer in your relationship... that and reading books.

• 20. You would never betray yourself by watching an episode of “Criminal Minds” without the other. You’ve made a deal, the full CMs sessions are done together, and you’re both planning to stick with it!

• 21. He buys you your favorite candies or delicacies, and when he buys you flowers, he knows they will be dried and put to good use.

• 22. He makes you laugh in extremely serious and inappropriate situations.

• 23. You would rather spend a zero day with him a thousand times than go to the most extraordinary meeting in the world with another.

Source for this blog post:

https://livetheglory.com/relationship-advice/23-signs-not-very-romantic-that-you-have-found-your-soul-mate/

The Witch's Desk ~ Q&A

All questions are posted as received, No Editing (except to delete identities), as all questions are posted anonymously. These questions were originally posted at my blog, Magickal Connections.

• 1. Well I don’t really know how to cast a circle and there are some things about a money bottle I don’t understand and the mojo bag also help thank u

Note: I have to say that I get this type of message quite often, actually A LOT.  This is obviously a person who has not picked up a book to read or learn anything on the subjects in question.  Basically, they want someone to do everything for them, in essence, it's like they want me to "learn" for them, or just tell them everything they need to know.  Learning the old-fashioned way is too much work.

This is re-posted from my blog Magickal Connections, June 2014. I had the time and patience then to sit down and respond to messages like this.  I don't have either now.  If I received this message now, I would give them a link to my books, which contain all the information they would need for these topics.  I would tell them that they need to find the time to read, and study, and learn, and then, if they still have questions, ask them... Here's a link to My Books.  (Available in paperback or kindle)  Okay, I'm done ranting now... on with my reply:

Witch’s Bottles ~

Witches’ bottles are an old form of magick wherein the spell, in the form of personal effects, herbs, and a variety of objects, are deposited in a glass jar or bottle. The container is then sealed up with wax and used in a variety of ways, depending upon it’s purpose. Money bottles can be kept near the front door where they are visible and handy, and you can grab them and give them a shake from time to time to keep the energy moving towards manifestation. Witches’ bottles for protection might be buried on your property, as near the threshold of your front door as possible. A wild and woolly bottle, meant to kick some magickal butt or get rid of a pesky problem, will be buried as far away from your land as is physically possible and reasonable. A bottle meant to conjure love, well, I’d tuck that beneath the bed, where the energy will pool and puddle, perk and boil, till the damn bursts and love and passion bloom.

You can use any kind of bottle that has a mouth large enough to deposit some of the more unusual items you might have for your spell. This creation can be very unique.  Witches’ Bottles are easy spells to cast, fun to put together, and long potent lasting magick.

Circle Casting

You’ll find a circle casting ritual at my website by clicking HERE.

To cast most magick, you will want to create sacred space in which to work; space that is cleansed, consecrated, and reinforced against negative energy and entities. This space will hold and contain magickal energy as it builds, until you are ready to release it into the universe, sometimes with explosive abruptness. This space will give you the reassurance of protection, so that you can concentrate on your spell casting or ritual, knowing that you are safe– physically mentally, and spiritually– knowing that nothing will interfere with you or the energy within your circle. This space will provide a place of beauty and serenity, in which to invoke Deity.

Whether or not the boundaries of your magick circle are marked with physical objects…a ring of stones, a silver cord, bouquets of flowers, or candles; you most likely will feel the invisible energy of this circle as a shift in temperature, the sensation of being closed within a small space, a tingling sensation on the soles of your feet, or a slight change of pressure around your head or inner ear. Some people experience a physical sensation within the circle, and others do not. It may depend on an individual’s physical sensitivity to various energies. Even if you experience no sensations within the magick circle, know that this space, when properly cast, is as solid and real and sacred as the most intimidating cathedral, or the quaintest neighborhood church.

Mojo Bags

The ancient practice of combining spell ingredients for particular intentions in small bags and pouches is an ancient one, and a magick that has proved particularly powerful. Mojo bags can be carried in your purse or pocket, tucked beneath your pillow, worn from a cord or chain around your neck, tucked in an enemy’s personal space, or even dismantled and thrown to the wind…I bet you’ll know what to do.

I have a whole section in my book Natural Magick the Gray Witch Way devoted to mojo bags, including directions on making your own with correspondences for a number of intentions…"These enchanting magickal charms can be carried and integrated into your life in a variety of ways. Mojo bags to enhance your dreams or to prevent nightmares can be tucked beneath your pillow, releasing their magick and fragrance right under your nose each night. Mojo bags for prosperity can be carried in your purse, rubbing elbows with your wallet or checkbook, bringing you success and abundance in the financial world. Mojo bags for love and employment, for protection and hexing, can all be created to move energy along, to invoke spirits, to create change, and to shake up the mundane world in a million different magickal ways.”

• 2. Hello Amythyst this (Name Deleted) and you once did a reading for me and was about who thought at the time was my soul mate only to find out for my goddess Hecate my true soul mate is Gabriel and that the (Name Deleted) guy was just somebody I was sing to help. It turns out that I am still waiting for my true soul mate and I want him in my life and I feel alone and want somebody do love me too. I feeling confused with my life and want to know why my life. I want to know why I am never lucky with anything I do? I feel like I never get anywhere and I think more about helping other people but am to worried to help myself. I feel that if I try to make my life better that everything will not work out. I just want to be happy. I am not happy with the way my life is. Can you help me?

I see several questions within this question.

First, can I help you?…Basically, no. Up to a point, I can listen to you, I can encourage you, I can comfort you, I can advise you, I can do a reading for you, I can make suggestions; but in the end, ultimately, you are responsible for your own happiness, you are responsible for your own decisions, you are responsible for your own actions or inaction.

“I feel that if I try to make my life better that everything will not work out…"  So you’re saying that you’re so afraid of failure you’re not even going to try? (If you don’t try, you’ll never succeed.) Are you saying that it’s better to live a life of unhappiness and discontent, rather than to make the effort to change it?

One of the first questions to ask yourself is: What do I have to do to improve my life? 

Think about every area of your life, from relationships, to employment, to spirituality, to health (both mental & physical).   Make a list.  What do I need to do to improve my life?  How many things on this list are do-able in the short term, like now; and how many things on this list are long-term issues that you should start working on now in order to make the future better?  Once you’ve made this list, you can’t just sit forever and ponder on it, you actually have to get out there, contact the right people, and start things in motion.  You have to put effort into Action.

One thing about this that irks me is the fact that women in general have a tendency to be thrown completely for a loop when a relationship doesn’t work out.  It’s sad.  Yes, it’s disappointing, but it’s not the end of the world. You need to be a whole and complete, happy and content human being on your own before you’re ready to enter into a relationship with anyone.  I actually think that some women benefit from a period of time on their own, time to find their center, time to learn about who they really are and what they really want out of life.  Some women need a period of time to themselves to gain confidence in their ability to fend for themselves, to make good decisions, to handle business, to delve into their creative sides.  Some women just plain benefit from time to themselves, period.

My advice?…Stop pining for this guy you broke up with. Stop looking for imaginary spiritual mates in the ether world. Concentrate on this world, this life.  Take the idea of potential partners out of the picture all together. What do you want to do with your life? You said that you wanted to help people.  How do you intend to do this?  Does this touch your soul and make you feel good inside, good about yourself, good about the world? 

If you’re meant to find your soul mate, you will, when the universe and Spirit decide it’s time.  Stop wasting so much of your energy fretting over this issue.  In order to draw good things into your life, you have to surround yourself with and project positive energy.  Work on this.

Learn to love yourself.

Source:

Magickal Connections
April, 2014

Signs He's a Keeper ~ Yeppa'

Some people find their true love and life-time partner right off the bat and spend the next five to seven decades in harmonious coupledom.  But there are others of us who will spend a life time searching for "The One".  And during this arduous, often tempestuous, and discouraging search, we will run into people and relationships that we thought were the right one, only to recognize a mistake, often well after it's been made.

When you finally hit the jack pot at the end of the proverbial rainbow, and your One True Love, aka Prince Charming, comes along.  You need to recognize him.  You need to acknowledge him.  You need to appreciate him.  And you need to Keep Him!

Good luck, Ladies!... I hope you are as fortunate as I am.

• EVEN WHEN LIFE GETS CRAZY HECTIC, YOU ALWAYS FEEL LIKE HIS NUMBER ONE PRIORITY.

If he were to list all his priorities, where would you rank in the pecking order? If you think you’d come first, which is the only place you should be, he’s a keeper. Your guy should value your relationship above anything else. Yes, that includes sports, nights out with the guys, or past partners.  That’s not to say he can’t or shouldn’t have a life outside of your relationship but that you should feel loved and valued in the midst of it all.

• HE’S THERE FOR YOU EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T REALIZE YOU NEED HIM.

Is your guy there for you during a crisis, even if things get a little messy, or if the timing’s inconvenient? You know you’re with a good guy if he goes above and beyond to help you through a rough time. If you’re looking for a long-term partner, it’s essential for him to show you compassion, consideration, and empathy when you need it the most (and even when you don’t realize you need it).

• HE CAN’T IMAGINE A FUTURE WITHOUT YOU IN IT.

You know he’s not leading you down the garden path if he talks about you in his future. Does he ever mention you when he talks about his life goals? If he can’t imagine going through any stage of his life without you by his side, that shows he’s thinking long-term and means business about your relationship. Yup, he’s a keeper.

• HE WANTS TO GET TO KNOW THE OTHER PEOPLE YOU KNOW AND LOVE.

Your friends and family are important to you so they’re important to him too. If he’s invited to a family party or a friend's birthday, he’s excited to go with you. He considers getting to know the people who’ve helped shape the woman he loves a privilege, and that’s a rare thing.

• YOUR SUCCESS BRINGS HIM JOY.

Some men are intimidated by successful women. Their egos are too fragile so they can’t hack it when their girlfriends are totally killin’ it in everything they do. This can lead to jealousy, bitterness, and filthy arguments. If your guy’s genuinely happy for and proud of you for smashing one goal after another and even brags about your accomplishment to others, he’s a keeper. Your guy should be your biggest cheerleader, after all.

• HE ACTUALLY LISTENS TO YOU BECAUSE HE CARES ABOUT YOUR DAY TO DAY LIFE.

Does he not just hear what you have to say but actually absorb the information? If you have a big interview coming up or a daunting meeting ahead, does he remember? A simple text wishing you good luck, or a call to ask how it went, shows he genuinely cares about you and your well-being. Sure, he might not always find these things super interesting, but they interest him because they have to do with you.

• HE HELPS YOU BECOME THE BEST POSSIBLE VERSION OF YOURSELF.

Your partner should make you feel like a million dollars:  confident, fabulous, and beautiful. If you ever find your guy slowly chipping away at your self-confidence, or putting you down, kick him to the curb. The right guy for you will make you feel like a superstar every single day.

Can he make you feel better when you feel like poo? Whether he reminds you of an inside joke you share, surprises you with wine, or submits to binge-watching The Good Witch, he always knows how to put a smile back on your face.

• HE HAS HIS LIFE TOGETHER AND IS TRULY READY FOR A MATURE RELATIONSHIP.

There’s no point wasting time trying to turn a boy into a man. If you want to make long-term plans with this guy, he should have his own apartment because he’s done with the bachelor lifestyle. He should be focused on his career and happy to start settling down. Make sure you’re both on the same page with this, otherwise it’ll only lead to upset.

• HE TRULY VALUES YOUR OPINION.

Although he doesn’t always take your advice, he always asks for your opinion when it comes to major life choices. This is a sure sign he appreciates your input and takes you seriously. That’s the kind of guy you want to be with, right?

SOURCE:

https://www.bolde.com/man-10-things-hes-keeper/

Second Time Around ~ Should You Remarry Your Ex?

Rarely, do you hear someone say they want to remarry their ex. After all, they are divorced and presumably have moved on. But there are times that remarriage does occur. In fact, according to one study, as many as 10% to 15% of all divorced couples will reconcile.

In those cases, the couples may have realized that the grass really wasn't greener on the divorced side. Or, maybe time did heal all wounds. Whatever the reason, remarriage between divorced couples does happen on occasion. If you're thinking of rekindling the romance with an ex-spouse, there are some critical things to consider first.

Why Divorced Couples Get Remarried

While the reasons for getting remarried vary from couple to couple, many people realize after the anger and frustration dissipate that they actually miss their former spouse, especially if they were married for any length of time. Then, they start to wonder what they could have done differently, or if the marriage could have been salvaged. Some people even wonder if they made a mistake.

Here are some other possible reasons divorced couples consider remarrying one another.

• Realize single life is unsatisfying and difficult
• Recognize they divorced impulsively or for stupid reasons
• Realize they're still in love with their ex
• Experience some personal growth that led them back to the relationship
• Miss the familiarity they had with their ex
• Forgive and/or forget the things their ex did wrong
• Maintain a positive relationship with their ex

Things to Consider Before Remarrying

Before you remarry your ex, you need to be sure you are both ready for the work involved because it won't be easy.  If you and your ex-spouse are committed to the idea of getting back together, you need to remember these three things:

• The odds are against you.
• You must take things slowly.
• You should see a marriage counselor and take a marriage education course.

Making Your Second Time Around Together Successful

If you are committed to remarrying your former spouse, you should plan on being in a loving relationship for a minimum of a year before tying the knot again.

During that time, you need to address the reasons why you divorced in the first place. After all, you are marrying the same person. While you both may have experienced some personal growth since the divorce, there still will be things about your ex that annoy you. Here are some suggestions to improve your chances of having a successful second marriage to one another.

Get Counseling

Marriage counselors agree that you must learn from your marital history or the two of you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes. Unresolved and unfinished business will resurface.  Honestly look at what caused your divorce. If the marriage failed because of finances, be clear on how you will spend money. If problems revolved around parenting issues, work this conflict out first. If the divorce was due to infidelity, process the unfaithfulness, forgive, and rebuild trust.

You also may want to read a marriage book together and take a marriage workshop or course. The more work you do on the front end of your relationship, the better off you will be after you remarry. Building a new foundation takes time and effort. You have to confront past issues that caused conflict and learn new ways of interacting.

Take a Personal Inventory

When divorce happens, no one is blameless. Even if infidelity was the primary reason for the divorce, there are bound to be other issues in the marriage. And while those issues do not excuse the unfaithfulness nor can they be blamed for it, they still need to be addressed.

Admit to your role and responsibility in what went wrong in your first marriage. If you can't readily do this, you will continue to struggle in this marriage. You also need to keep things completely honest between the two of you. There should be no game playing, no mind reading, and no unspoken expectations. Share with one another your hopes, dreams, and expectations.

Consider Your Children

Getting back together just for the sake of the kids is a bad idea. Get back together because you love (and like) one another and want to be together again. If you do have children, don't let them know you're dating again for a while. They could get their hopes up that you will reconcile. These hopes also could put pressure on you to remarry even if things are not going as well as you would like.

Be Realistic

It is important to recognize that the first marriage is dead. As hard as this may be, do not let that ghost hurt your new marriage. Don't dwell on the mistakes you made in the previous marriage. Instead, focus on your future together.

Also, make sure you have reasonable expectations. At the core, you will be marrying the same person. Some of the old annoying habits will still be there. And, if you discover that things aren't right, trust your gut and end the relationship.

A Word of Caution & Encouragement

Whatever you do, don't rush into a second marriage with your ex-spouse. Developing trust and making a marriage work requires a strong commitment by both of you. Take time to understand the dynamics of your relationship more fully before getting married again.

Source:

https://www.verywellmind.com/is-a-second-time-around-realistic-2300932

7 Things Crazy-In-love Couples Do

Did you know you can transform your relationship in 20 seconds?

If you truly want the best relationship possible, don't leave the fate of your "happily in love" connection to luck or chance. Trust me, couples who thrive for the long-term actively choose behaviors that keep them in a good place with each other.

As a marriage therapist who has been happily married and counseling for 40 years, here are the top 7 habits I see ridiculously happy couples practice faithfully:

1. Spend time together.

It is staggering how many couples come to my office having not spent a single meaningful moment together since their last session. I know, I know — Kids and jobs quickly derail your chances of alone time. But come on! You can't connect if you never spend time together. It's the most obvious and basic step of keeping love alive.

So get with it, pull out your calendars, set a date to spend some time together, and then honor it. Create a space where you can breathe together, that is when meaningful connection and conversations occur.

2. Know your partner's love language.

This one is so important. Just because your mom sang your praises for cleaning up your room doesn't mean your partner is as impressed by the act. We each value different loving behaviors and gestures in our relationship. Often, couples have completely different love languages.

If you don't know what your partner's is, ask. Your honey has probably tried to share theirs, but you may have missed it. So, find out today.

Just ask, "What things have I done that make you feel the most loved?" Perhaps it will be the time you surprised her by cooking dinner. Perhaps his will be just touching him affectionately.

Unsure of what the different love languages are? Make a date to flip through The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman together. Discovering your partner's love language makes showing appreciation and affection truly fun and fulfilling.

3. Commit to 20-second hugs twice a day.

I'm not talking about a polite, A-shaped hug. I mean a hip-to-hip, really holding each other bear hug. Why must it last 20 seconds? Because that's how long it takes for your oxytocin to kick in (otherwise known as "the cuddle hormone"), which gives you that delightful feeling that all is right with the world (and your relationship).

I regularly "prescribe" 20-second hugs to my patients because the gesture is powerful medicine. So, every morning before you leave for work and then again when you get home, spend 20 full seconds in an embrace. I guarantee you, one or both of you will quickly slip into your happy place.

But remember, because it works so well and feels so good, if you skip this ritual too often, your partner will soon feel uncared for. So, commit to it and enjoy it!

4. Learn to listen (without interrupting).

Nothing says "I love you" more than really listening when your partner speaks... about their thoughts, about their feelings. Even about that big meeting with their boss and their stressful busy day.

Authentic listening is a skill most people struggle with. It means shutting off your screens, dialing down your own thoughts, making eye contact, nodding your head in an appreciative way — you know, actually caring and being present. Supportive grunts and high-fives are also appropriate. Bonus points for touching your partner's arm at appropriate moments to show you're genuinely paying attention.

Giving your partner the floor without needing to put in your own two cents (or stealing the spotlight) shows that their thoughts and feelings are as important to you as your own. Just make sure to mirror back what your partner says (without editorial comments, of course). Don't tell them what to do, simply reflect what you heard them say and your understanding of how it impacted them.

5. Keep each other in the loop.

How can you know when to celebrate or commiserate with your partner if they don't keep you informed about what's going on in their life? If your partner believes their entire work future depends on keeping this current client happy, you can suggest dinner out to toast occasions when those happy client moments occur. Or when your partner shares that they're working through tension in a valued family connection, you can smile and show support when they report that speed bump was successfully smoothed over.

We all want and need to come home to someone who carries us in their mind as we face the challenges and joys of our day. Knowing that your partner cares about your life outside of just your relationship together makes you feel protected, cheered for, and like your place on Earth matters.

6. Actually plan your future together (on an actual calendar).

Most of the stuff that matters in relationships won't happen unless it's on the calendar. This includes sex, getting together with friends, and making time to see each other. Making time every month to set goals together will increase your sense that you're on the same journey together, planning a meaningful future that you both prioritize and value.

Remember, you're on a team, so pull together, whether it's around the children, your individual career goals, your sex life, or just figuring out what you want to do this weekend.

7. Reassure each other often.

Everyone needs reassurance from time to time. Don't wait until one of you needs it to give it. Frequently affirming how much you care keeps the other person relaxed and feeling safe in your relationship. Sometimes an out-of-nowhere, heartfelt "I love you" instantly makes up for all of those moments when you didn't understand each other.

And nothing keeps us feeling secure in our relationship like hearing all of the ways our partner appreciates us. It's hard to slip into insecurity about their love when they've just mentioned two reasons why they're so glad you're in their life. 

 

Human beings survive across the ages because our brains evolved with a negativity bias... remaining ever alert to what's possibly wrong. Our brains feed us flashes of every potential danger which often means we're imagining some of them. When you see your partner panic and "make up" a problem, rather than get mad or defensive, reach out to them calmly. They just need some reassurance to quiet that primal part of their brain.

The common thread of the 7 habits above is that they each teach happy couples to focus on what is going right in their relationship versus what is going wrong. So celebrate what you want to see more of.

Compliment instead of criticizing. Deep down we all yearn for the feeling found in the beautiful words of Mr. Rogers: "I love you... just the way you are." Challenge yourself to let go of criticism, and invite your partner to rest in the happiness of being loved for exactly that.

As a marriage counselor and partner to his wife for over 40 years, Dr. Jim Walkup helps couples build their relationship to last a lifetime. Visit his website for a copy of his eBook "A Marriage Counselor’s Secrets To Making Your Marriage Sizzle". Or, if you're in the state of New York, to schedule a Skype appointment or an in-person office appointment, call 914-548-8645 or drop Dr. Walkup an email at jimwalkup@gmail.com