My Ex-Wife & New Wife Don't Get Along

Question: 

I am a 41-year-old man who has been married to my second wife for two months. I have been divorced for over two years from my first wife and am having problems with my new wife. She thinks I am not making her the priority in my life. She feels run over when it comes to my first wife, especially when dealing with my two children from my first marriage. I have a 12-year-old girl and 8-year-old boy. 

My first wife can be very manipulative. Knowing that has caused some strife, but nothing we both weren't aware of before we got married. 

My wife is mother of two, and our children mix well together. I guess I try to avoid conflict with the ex, which probably doesn't help with my new wife. I just want all parties to get along as best we can, but that seems not likely anytime soon. My wife has been divorced for over seven years and her son lives with his father five hours away. My ex lives five minutes away, and so we deal with my ex on a daily basis because of my kids. Any advice is welcome. 

— Husband in the Middle

Dear Husband,

After only two months, you admit you both knew the issues “before we got married.” Did you think marriage would change things? Your problem is exactly what you sheepishly admit: “I guess I try to avoid conflict with the ex, which probably doesn't help with my new wife.” Dude, when a woman marries a man, she expects that he’ll protect her. If she “feels run over” by wife number one, she’ll feel run over by a lackluster you. Here’s what to do:

1) You’re not in Switzerland, so stop your “peace at any price” fantasy.

2) Start taking an obvious stand on your new wife’s side.

3) Refuse your exwife’s manipulations.

Unless you alter the behaviors that remain from your first marriage, you’ll just be repeating the same steps in a different ballroom.

 — Dr. Gilda

Source

https://www.today.com/health/help-my-ex-wife-new-wife-dont-get-along-8C11563939

Dr. Gilda Carle is the relationship expert to the stars. She is a professor emerita, has written 15 books, and her latest is “Don’t Bet on the Prince!”—Second Edition. She provides advice and coaching via Skype, email and phone.

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Sex and Witchcraft

This is a rather saucy topic for this mundane blog devoted more to mundane everyday life, but here you go. This blog post was originally posted at my other blog, Magickal Connections in October 2015. This post was created with interview questions provided to me from a journalist for a magazine interview.

1. When did you start practicing witchcraft? What drew you to it?

I cast my first spell in the basement of my grandmother’s house when I was seventeen. What drew me to it?…Necessity. I was involved in an unfortunate relationship with a boy, and I wanted him to go away. So, without a lot of heavy thought, it just seemed to “pop into my mind” to get rid of him with a flaming candle and a photo. As I recall, this also involved a little incantation, some spitting, and foot-stomping (I was 17, and angry). I honestly don’t know why, or how, I thought of using magick to fix a mundane problem. This was back in the 1970.  There were no books on witchcraft in our local library, there was no internet. I figured this one out all by myself.

The biggest, and scariest, thing about this adventure…it worked.

Two to three days later, after this novice attempt at spell casting, the boy’s mother called my grandmother. She was hysterical and angry, and I honestly don’t know what would have driven her to contact my grandmother with this information, but she said that her son had been rushed to the emergency room hemorrhaging profusely from a stomach ulcer that they did not know he had. This information was bone jarring and riveting to me! In the course of this spell, I had used a pen with red blood-like ink to draw a large angry line through this boy’s mid-section.

This was an “Aha!” moment…I realized, without a shred of a doubt, that witchcraft and magick were both very real, and spell casting is both very powerful and can be very dangerous. It also frightened me to the point where it would be several years before I took up the torch and resumed this path. It had not been my intention to hurt this young man, but to make him go away. My in-experience and unbridled emotion mixed with the awesome energy of magick had been untamed, scattered, and out-of-control.

The lesson learned:

Be careful what you do.

Don’t cast spells in anger.

Think about all the possible consequences, and then think on it some more.

Stay on the light side of magick for the most part, but at the same time, don’t be afraid to protect yourself and your family if the situation warrants it.

Be very specific…you’re working with pure energy, and pure energy has no conscious thought process but will take the route of least resistance.

 Love when you can.

 Hate in moderation.

 Try something positive before you do something negative.

2. Does your witchcraft and practice factor into your sex life? If so, how? Has it changed or influenced your ideas about sex?

1) Does witchcraft and it’s practice factor into my sex life? ~ There's this little thing called Sex Magick.  Where do I start?  Magick is just the manipulation of energy.  To cast a spell is to manifest a thought or desire into the physical world and make it a reality.  You need a heck of a lot of energy to do this.  Some magickal practitioners have learned how to harness the incredible physical energy of an orgasm and use it during spell casting or a magickal ritual.  With that said, my answer to your question is a profound "Yes".

2) How can witchcraft affect your sex life? ~ Magick can be used to affect any area of our lives, and sex is no exception. I am inundated, on an almost daily basis, by people who want to fix their love lives with magick. Probably the most significant way that magick can affect someone’s sex life is to speed it up, or slow it down, whichever route is the desired one. (There are herbs and spells to do both.)

The most requested and popular magick is a spell to get someone attracted to you in the first place; only second to this is magick to keep them faithful.

The most unusual request I had was from a transgendered individual who wanted to know if there were a spell to allow them to switch back and forth between male and female sexual organs (literally).  No, there is not. No one likes to think of magick as having limits, after all it’s the “Endless Possibilities” that attract most of us to magick in the first place, but real magick does not break the laws of physics, and that’s a good thing.

3) Has witchcraft changed or influenced my ideas about sex? ~ As a Pagan, my attitude and ideas about sex were already outside the proverbial box and middle-of-the road suburbia mindset. As an example, I don’t believe that we are eternally connected to one partner for our entire lives, till death do us part. (I had an interesting discussion once with a Fundamentalist Baptist wife who foot-stamping declared to me that God had ordained her to be with her husband till the end, no matter how much he hit her.)

I believe that people come into our lives at various stages and phases for a reason.  I believe that we learn something from each individual we connect with on such an intimate personal level. I believe that there is a time and season for everything, and people change, circumstances change, and some relationships will come to a natural conclusion. Most people who live long healthy lives will have several partners during this lifetime, and I believe this is the natural way of things.

My paganism also influences my ideas about sex in that I’m very open to accepting other people’s views and practices, even if their lifestyles or activities would not be something that would be part of my own life. Basically, when it comes to the bedroom and intimate relationships, whatever is agreed upon mutually by consenting adults is no one else's business.

3. Has your witchcraft taught you anything about sex, or your personal sexuality?

Actually, witchcraft has taught me many things about sexuality ~

Embrace your sexuality and celebrate the beauty and mystery of it.

Sexuality is natural and healthy, do not load it down with the spiritual guilt that most often accompanies mainstream religions.

There are many different types of sexuality and sexual practices, each deserving of respect and tolerance in their own right.

Witchcraft is all about the movement of energy to generate and manifest physical changes in the world, sex is pure energy, this energy can be harnessed to magickally manifest change.

4. Have you ever cast a sex spell or created a love potion? If so, can you explain a little about the process?

Yes, I have. One of the love potions I created has a rather unique story behind it.

Last summer my family and I were filming a television pilot for a documentary/reality series based on my life and spiritual practices. During the course of this filming, the producer wanted some witchy B-roll, so they sat me down in the middle of my “Wytchy Room”, comfortably nestled on the carpet, surrounded by my Big Black Book, bottles and herbs, stones, incense, and candles. I was suppose to start “doing what I do”, so I decided to create a Love Potion.

Don’t talk, they told me. (So I’m assuming this is going to be some of that slow-motion pretty witchy visuals used for editing purposes.) I started with a quart jar.

With two cameramen sitting on opposite sides of me, squatting on the floor, their cameras balanced on their shoulders, and the director and producer watching from monitors in the other room, I began. I added oil to the bottle, filling it half way. To this oil I added some herbs, taking my time, sprinkling them in slowly for the cameras…cardamom for love and lust; nutmeg for fidelity; a stone of rose quartz for love and friendship; and the final icing on the cake: a beautiful whole dried rose blossom.

As the rose blossom sank in the oil and landed delicately on top of the rose quartz, bubbles began rising from the bottom of the jar, floating gracefully to the top.

Suddenly the producer’s voice cuts through the silence: “Why is it doing that?”, he asks.

I’m bent over, fascinated, my nose to the jar, watching in mystified delight. At first I said, “I don’t know, it’s never done this before.”

And then there was a sudden jolt to my system, and in one clairvoyant moment, I knew.

“It’s not me.”, I said. “It’s you guys. Love is just flowing along for someone in your crew.” And I look suddenly at each of the two cameramen seated before me. The energy was outrageously “rosey”. I knew it had to be one of them. And it was.

It was a guarded secret among this production crew that two of them were actually a couple– the tall handsome Russian cameraman, and the beautiful petite field producer. She asked if she could have this bottle of Love Potion to use at weddings and handfastings, and of course, I gave it to her, still in the dark about the total magick of it all.

It wasn’t until later that we found out the full story. This young couple went on to get engaged and were married this year. I like to think of my beautiful Love Potion perking away on the west coast, sprouting love matches, life-long commitments, and beautiful passion.

5. Is there anything related to your practice that a non-practitioner may be able to incorporate into their sex life? What lessons can they learn from witchcraft about sex and sexuality?

If a non-practitioner incorporated some of my occult practices in their sex life, that would make them practitioners. (I just thought I’d point that out.) Most non-practitioners I know would not be open to using witchcraft and spells to influence any part of their lives, much less their sex life. That being said, if couples are having trouble for example with impotence (male), or lack of sexual desire (female); as I said, there are herbs and spells for this type of thing, something that would help put a couple back into sync with each other. This is a topic that’s so common and that has such mundane roots, I would think even non-practitioners would not be hesitant to give it a gosh darn try.

What lessons have I learned from witchcraft about sex/sexuality? I’ve learned the most important lesson of all…We never stop learning.

You will find the following blog post at
Magickal Connections:

Sex & Green Witchcraft:
Getting Down and Dirty

This article will contain information
on the following topics ~

Fidelity
Attracting Love
Increasing Sex Drive

Decreasing Sex Drive

Hints & Helpful Magickal Tips

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

Traces of desire and love are often left behind after a relationship ends and can be easily recognized. In this article, I go over several signs that may indicate your ex wants to get back together with you.

If you can identify at least two, if not more, of these signs, it could indicate that you might have a chance with them. This is the foundation for coming up with the right plan to reconnect with your ex to repair a once-broken relationship.


This information is not a simple guide to show you how to have a successful relationship. It is also not a get-your-ex-back guide. It is simply to help you understand more about what they might be feeling and provide some guidelines that might be helpful for you as you try to proceed.

The 13 Signs That Your Ex May Still Want You Back

1. You still have feelings for them.
2. You and your ex stay in touch.
3. You talk frequently.
4. Your ex contacts you first.
5. Your ex waits a few weeks (or months) to get their stuff back from you.
6. They contact you more than you contact them.
7. They frequently show up where you are.
8. Your ex calls you for random reasons.
9. They seem comfortable with you when talking or ask about your social life.
10. Your ex can't look you in the eye.
11. They ask you if you're okay or if you're dating anyone.
12. They act differently around you.
13. You continue physical intimacy with them on a regular basis.

If You Want Your Ex Back

 
Here are some quick tips if you want your ex back. These are all easier said than done—but their purpose is to make sure you don't give over all of the power and decision making in the relationship to them.

• Do not be the first one to contact them. Let them reach out to you. (Especially if they broke up with you.)
• Do not offer to give them their stuff back. Let them ask for it.
• Do not sleep with or be physically intimate with them because this can get tricky later on.
• Do not initiate contact with them more often than they initiate contact with you.

Sign #1: You Both Still Have Feelings for Each Other

 
The longer you were in the relationship, the more of an emotional impact it will have on you when it ends. When you commit to a long-term union, you share memories and experiences that will forever be a part of you both.

In the time immediately following a breakup, it is natural for you to put all of your focus on the negative things in the relationship. However, it is very important to realize that the emotions and feelings you had for your ex will not go away immediately. Your heart is not a light switch. The emotional bond will still be present.

Sign #2: You and Your Ex Stay in Touch

 
Do you keep in contact with your ex? If so, how much, and how do you make contact? The way your ex contacts you after the breakup can tell you if they're still craving a relationship with you. The more direct their communication, the better.

Often times, an ex will use texting or email to contact you. This may seem like they are just being nice and trying to keep a friendship going, but it can also mean they're keeping an eye on your life and what you’re up to. This form of communication is the easiest way they can keep you in their life without having to make any quick decisions about the fate of the relationship.

If you are getting phone calls from your ex, they have chosen the most direct form of communication—this is a great sign. This is very up front and keeps you in real and direct contact, making it feel as if the relationship really isn’t over for good. Of course, meeting in person is always best, but if they want you back it will come to that point.

And finally, making physical contact is always the best outcome. This means that they are not ready to let you go. They may want to stay broken up, but they are also doubting the decision in the first place. This is where the face-to-face meeting is the most helpful. Seeing you may just help them make up their mind.

Sign #3: You Talk Frequently

 

How often your ex contacts you is a sign of how much they actually want to be with you again. Someone who still wants you in their lives will make a way to keep in contact. If they keep in touch after the breakup, it is a strong sign that they are unsure they made the right decision in leaving you. Another thing to look at is who makes contact more often? Is it you or your ex? If they get in touch with you out of the blue, you may be back together soon!

Sign #4: Your Ex Contacts You First

 
As long as your ex is second guessing their choice to leave you, they will try to keep in touch. Knowing this, the sooner they make contact, the more you know they miss you and are not sure of their decision.

If your ex is the one to contact you first, you have a great sign! This can mean that they feel that they rushed the decision and are now in great doubt. Often times, an ex will make contact for a non-specific reason, such as just wanting to say hello or find out how you’re doing. These may sound like lame excuses, but just think of what they mean! What they are really trying to do is find any possible reason to contact you.

If you are the first one to make contact, you may find yourself the weak party. If you were the one who was dumped, this is especially true. You don’t want to come off as desperate or needy, so try your best to wait for them to contact you first. If you get that communication a few weeks after your breakup, this is a great sign. They need the time to see if they have a change of heart.

Sign #5: Your Ex Waits a Few Weeks (or months) to Get Their Stuff Back From You

One of the biggest reasons that exes see one another again is that they have to get things back from each other. This is your best shot at seeing how they feel about you after the breakup. You can’t avoid meeting because you need your things back, so look at it in a positive light because it is an innocent manner of running into you!

If they are still feeling emotional towards you, they will be in no hurry to break off contact. The best case scenario is that they come for their things, and in a few days they call to say they forgot an item. It is likely they “forgot” on purpose so they had an excuse to come back over.

If they want their stuff back right away, this can mean that they are still feeling hurt, bitter, angry, etc. They likely are feeling hot-headed and thinking with the pain in their heart. This is especially true if things ended very badly. So, if they wait to get their stuff for a few weeks, it is a much better sign. No matter which way this step goes, it's possible that they are still not sure what they want, and that is always a sign of hope.

Sign #6: Your Ex Contacts You More Than You Contact Them

 
Even though the levels of communication will be varied, it is always a good sign if your ex is the one making the most contact. There are many ways that they can do so; texting, calling, emailing, social networking, or simply showing up. If your ex is starting up more and more communication with you, then take this as a strong sign that they are clearly thinking of you and missing you!

When you are the one doing the contacting, make sure you have a solid excuse to do so. It will be difficult, but you have to do things that will make them miss you and make them wonder why you’re not contacting them all the time. This will make them contact you even more!

Now, if you are the one who does most of the contacting, it is not the best way to go about things. It may seem like you are chasing after them and that lowers your chances of getting them back. If you are sending messages, the replies you get may only be sent so as not to be rude and you don’t want to have your ex in your life out of pity. If you just have to make contact, do so once and then see where your ex takes it from there.

Sign #7: Your Ex Frequently Shows Up Where You Are

 
If your ex is popping up in the same places that you just happen to be, this is a sure sign that they are feeling jealous and want to keep an eye on you. These chance encounters are a great sign they want you back! The bottom line is, if they keep showing up where you are, it is either a sign of jealousy or regret. Either way, it is good for you.

Many people who were once in a relationship have the same friends. This means you will likely see each other in group gatherings. They may not be checking up on you in these instances, but watch out for their body language. You will be able to tell how they are feeling by their body language, expressions, etc. Pay close attention to these things without being too obvious that you are paying attention.

When seeing you after the breakup, they may not know how to act with you. This may make them keep some distance. This doesn’t mean that they are not interested in you anymore but it does mean that they now have the chance to start missing you.

Sign #8: Your Ex Calls You for Random Reasons

 
Your ex typically won’t call you for no reason or out of the blue. Usually, they will first find a good excuse to make contact with you. Pay attention to these “reasons” and you will be able to figure out what they are really thinking by contacting you.

Sign #9: They Talk About Themselves or Ask About Your Social Life

The way your ex talks to you and what they talk about will tell you a lot about how they are feeling. They will have a certain aura about them and their attitude will speak volumes. Hiding strong emotions in the presence of someone you have cared for is virtually impossible to do.

There are several different ways that your ex might react to you when you talk. They might:

• Be dismissive: This is not a great sign
• Talk about themselves: This might mean that they're comfortable around you
• Talk about their life: This could be a bad sign. They might be moving on!
• Ask about your social life: They probably want to know if you've found someone

Dismissiveness...

Often times your ex will not feel comfortable talking with you, even if it is a simple chat. The reason for this may be that they want to keep distance between you two, sending a message that says getting back together is not an option. This is usually true if they were the one who was dumped by you. There is no sign that is stronger of your ex not wanting to get back together then if they are totally dismissive while talking to you. But, the dismissiveness may be because they are nervous around you now. You know them best so it is you who will know which is which.

Talking About Themselves...

If your ex is constantly talking about himself or herself, it may come off to you as self-centered. But think about it like this; if they are talking about themselves, this can mean that they are perfectly comfortable around you—comfortable enough to share personal things. This is a good sign. Keep in mind though, that there are several reasons why keeping your ex as a friend is not a good idea. Watch out for falling into the trap of going from lover to friend. This is a bad zone if you want them back!

Talking About Their Social Life...

Pay close attention to the talks you two have. If you are hearing them say things about their social life a lot, watch out! They may be preparing to move on or already have—putting you in the friend zone. Or, they are making sure you understand that just because you’re talking doesn’t mean you’re back together or will be back together.

Asking About Your Social Life...

If your ex asks about your social life, it is likely they are trying to see if you are seeing a new person even if they are not prepared to take you back right off the bat. It is, however, a sign that they don’t like the idea that you may be seeing someone else.

Sign #10: Your Ex Can't Look You in the Eye

There is much you can tell just by the way your ex behaves around you. If you pay close enough attention to what they say and their mannerisms, you can tell how much they still feel for you. If they are acting in a friendly way, they are likely trying to appease the situation between the two of you.

No matter how the breakup went down, acting friendly shows that their aim is to create comfort around you again. If they cannot look you right in the eyes, it may be that they are afraid to because it makes them feel conflicted about how they still feel about you. Again, this is a good sign.

Try to look at it like this: if they didn’t care about you anymore, eye contact would be simple. Avoidance means that either they regret letting you go or that they don’t quite know what to say to you. Either way, it is a good sign.

Sign #11: They Act Differently Around You

A change in behavior is another sign that your ex may want to rekindle your relationship again. Some changes will be noticeable right away, while others will take some time to surface. Stay vigilant so you can spot these changes when they happen. Honestly, there is no good reason that you two can’t be friendly around each other, but remember, showing friendliness doesn’t always mean something. However, if the behavior change around you is a radical one, it is definitely a good sign.

When you do see your ex again, they may either be pleased to see you or they may seem like they are in a bad mood. Either can be a good sign. If they are happy to see you then they probably miss you. If they act all moody, they may be upset because they feel conflicted about the breakup. Either way, try to stay positive.

Sign #12: They Ask You If You're Okay or If You're Dating Anyone

If your ex isn’t putting any effort into moving on from you, the breakup is something that they are questioning. What questions should you be on the lookout for?

Are You Okay?...

The first is the “are you okay” question. If they are checking to see if you’re ok after the breakup, they still care. They also want to know how you are dealing with the situation and if you have plans of moving on without them. If they know you’re ok, it may bring on two feelings. For one, they may be relieved if they know you’re ok and/or moving on. Or, it could be that they are worried that you will move on.

Are You Dating Anyone? 

If they ask about your dating plans, it is because they fear that you are ready to see others. What this basically means is that they are seriously doubting the breakup. This is the point where you can easily convince them it may have been a bad choice.

But, don’t give away too much in the beginning. If you seem mysterious, that’s a good thing; it will keep you on their mind more. They may want to have the single life but they also want to have you. This is the point where they will choose one or the other.

Four Reasons They Might Call

 

• They want their things back: If they made just one call for their things to be returned, this may not be the best sign. They may want a clean break from you and don’t feel comfortable with you anymore. The main reason they may feel uncomfortable or uneasy around you is that they are worried that things are still too fresh and they may buckle on their decision and go back into the relationship without thought. Try to figure them out after the breakup so you know how to approach them in the best way without making them uneasy.

 

• No real reason: On the other side of things, your ex may keep calling without any real reason for doing so, like asking about your mom, or something like that. They are not really calling to check on your mom! They are calling to talk to you and felt that they needed to come up with some kind of excuse, no matter how lame it may be. They want a reason to connect with you but don’t quite know how to go about it! Again, this is a very good sign.

 

• They "found" someone else: Now this part may sound weird, but honestly, some exes will call to let you know they found someone else. Chances are that they haven’t and are just trying to see how you will react to make you jealous. If they know you’re jealous, they know you’re still into them and that is what they wanted to know in the first place; asking directly would be too easy! If this happens, try not to get angry, remembering that it probably isn’t the truth. They are already questioning the breakup!

 

• They want your advice or opinions: Finally, one of the best signs is your ex calling you for your advice or opinions on things. This shows that they still care what you think and that they want a reason to contact you. If they are calling with a trivial question, they are not just calling for your answer. They are calling for your voice. They miss you and are thinking about turning back to you.

Source:

click HERE

My Interview with DJ Martin ~ revisited

It was my pleasure to be interviewed by DJ Martin,
herself an author and herbal witchy woman.

When did you start writing and what prompted you to do so?

I was always writing. I started journaling when I was 12-years-old and continued for years, way into my 30s. I regret that at various stages of life, I decided to discard some of those early diaries, thinking them filled with nonsensical adolescent drivel. I’m thankful for the ones I saved, detailing much of our family life and my children’s births.

When I was 18, I got a wild hair and typed out a short magazine article that I sent off to a major woman’s magazine, to their office in New York. I was lucky, the rejection was handled by an incredibly kind and sensitive editor who wanted to encourage creativity and writing in a hopeful, but very naive, adolescent. I don’t know who this person was, but they are probably the main reason I didn’t stop writing, and I continued to believe that one day I would be a published author.

Do you have a favorite book on witchcraft – perhaps one that influenced you?

I do– Green Witchcraft by Ann Moura. It was delicious. It was filled with the magick of the herbal world, encased in green leaves, and small cauldrons, and candles, and infinite possibilities. It was such a gentle book, a gentle magick, and I was enchanted with the spiritual connections. Coming out of a Catholic Parochial school background, the Virgin Mary took on a new dimension for me, as Ms. Moura led the way into magickal rituals using familiar spiritual icons. I recommend this book as a first book to any newcomer dipping their toe gingerly into the world of witchcraft. It is the most beautiful introduction.

How long have you been practicing & how did you come to your path?

Technically, I started practicing when I was 17 and cast a notorious spell in the basement of my grandmother’s house. The journey to my present-day spiritual path would be life-long, filled with explorations covering everything from Catholicism, to Judaism, Spiritism, to Atheism, as well as other explorations through books by far-thinking people on an introspective subject. But I would always return, full circle each time, to the realm of witchcraft. This seemed the most “normal” practice, the most fitting form of spirituality. And when I finally reconciled myself to this path, the learning process was an incredible journey, one I believe is so large and so infinite, it will take the course of several life-times.

After years of reading other people’s books (on witchcraft), years of thinking that I had to follow “their rules”, because this is how I was conditioned through my traditional childhood path, I was brought to the sudden realization that my spiritual path was an incredibly personal path, and only I could forge this path, building it brick by brick, to conform to my own beliefs, my own way of practicing, building it to fit my own unique spiritual connections.

I call my path, “Gray Magerium”…it’s a unique combination of Wicca (mostly Dianic Wicca); Hoodoo; and Green Witchcraft. This path is explored somewhat in my book, The Gray Witch’s Grimoire, and it will be expanded and embraced even more in my next book, The Spiritual Feminist. It’s been an evolution.

What was the hardest lesson you had to learn – one that you credit your path for teaching you?

I actually think there are several hard lessons learned. The most significant to me is that some people are drawn to me, with unabashed curiosity and off-the-wall enthusiasm, just because I practice witchcraft. They seem to have very unrealistic ideas of what I really am, or what my life is like, and they have some fantasy of it all playing in their heads. To the few I’ve actually met and gotten to know personally, in the real world, their enthusiasm (and their friendship) was short-lived when they realized that I was just as ordinary as they were. The novelty wore off, you might say. I think they liked friends’ and relatives’ reactions when they would introduce their new friend as a “Witch”.

What this has taught me is invaluable: my spiritual path is not “a phase”; my spiritual path helps me direct my life and maintain some semblance of control; my connection with Spirit is priceless in my journey to find and understand myself. There is something larger than us out there, a greater power, a spiritual entity, whatever name you want to give it. Destiny is a very real thing, and when you listen and watch carefully, you’ll realize that many of the decisions you make are drawn from that small voice in your head. Our decisions are being directed by a greater force than ourselves. There is a reason for everything, nothing happens by chance.

How does being a witch help you in everyday life?

Life is very scary sometimes, full of responsibilities, pitfalls, ups and downs, joy and sadness, success and a few failures. But I know, without a doubt, that I don’t walk this path alone. The Goddess is beside me– not in front of me, nor behind me, nor is she carrying me. We walk shoulder to shoulder. I’m not alone.

In the preface to your book, The Gray Witch’s Grimoire (which I loved, by the way), you ask & answer the question, “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” For those who haven’t read that book, would you kindly answer it again?

I am basically a Good Witch with a few Bad Witch tendencies. But what defines a “Bad Witch”?

To the general populous, she practices Black Magick in negative ways to control people and do other evil and perverted things. This isn’t my definition of the Bad Witch. I view the Bad Witch as a strong woman, a feminist perhaps, a woman who isn’t afraid to stand up for herself, isn’t afraid to take control, isn’t afraid to protect herself or her family when necessary. The Bad Witch will grit her teeth and stand her ground to fight for The Principle of the Thing. Principles and ethics are very important to the Bad Witch. Nothing in life is all black, or all white, there is a shady gray area that must be traversed. You may also be very surprised at what you find within this “gray area”…some people call it Common Sense.

What is one question you wish someone would ask you?

Will you be my friend?…but it would come with conditions: it would have to be sincere; it would have to transcend the mundane world of our work; it would have to come from the heart– sister to sister, or kindred spirit to kindred spirit. It would have to come without preconceived notions, or unrealistic expectations, or judgment.

What is one thing you’d like to accomplish before you die?

As a writer, I’d like to achieve the ultimate peak of accomplishment– I’d like to make the New York Times Best Seller List.

What is one piece of advice you’d give someone new to the witchcraft path?

Take your time. Don’t expect to absorb all there is to learn at once. Don’t be overwhelmed by all the information, the broadness of the topic.

But most important: Be still…and listen to the whisper in your ear, it will guide you to your path.

And finally, coffee or tea?

Coffee!! Actually, as I’m typing the answer to this last question, it’s Sunday morning, and I’m having special Sunday morning coffee: French Vanilla Almond.

Amythyst Raine is an author and spiritual feminist; a wife and mother; a witch and tarotist. Learn more about her at http://www.wytchmystique.com. You can also contact her via email witch_of_endore@yahoo.com.

Source:

http://www.authordjmartin.com/posts/interview-witch-amythyst-raine/

About DJ Martin & Her Books

click HERE

Compilation of Posts ~ Mothers-in-Law, What I've Learned From Mine

The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly ~ No matter how neutral, or how problematic, a relationship has been with a mother-in-law, when I sat down and thought about it, I realized that I learned invaluable lessons from each of these women.  I also got an intriguing view of women with different personalities and backgrounds suddenly dropped into situations and circumstances they perhaps hadn't anticipated.  It was fascinating to see how each woman adapted to, tackled, or manipulated the people and situations in her life to make her existence tolerable and complimentary to her personality.

Mothers-in-Law ~ What I've Learned from Mine #1 

Mothers-in-Law ~ What I've Learned from Mine #2

Mothers-in-Law ~ What I've Learned From Mine #3

Mothers-In -Law ~ What I've Learned From Mine #4

Mothers-in-Law ~ What I've Learned From Mine #5

Relationship Issues ~ Compilation of Links to Blog Posts

The following blog post titles are links that will take you to relationship posts.  If you recognize an issue in this list, follow the link to find out how you can cope with it, or resolve the problem.  You'll also find posts that celebrate and encourage happy partnerships.

Is Your Partner Emotionally Unstable ~ here's a checklist

Narcissists ~ why they deliberately try to make their partners jealous

Emotional Cheating ~ 10 signs that's what you're doing

Are You Spiritually Connected to Your Partner ~ Here's 7 signs you are

If An Ex Contacts You Out-of-the-Blue

Twin Flames ~ Do we all have one?... and other questions

Searching For an Ex On Social Media ~ 13 things you need to know

Mid-Life Crisis ~ the signs and symptoms

When Does Flirting Become Cheating ~ 9 red flags

Cheating and Sexual Addiction ~ 6 Types of Cheaters

Forever Engagements ~ It's a Thing!

Emotional Deprivation Disorder ~ and the inability to maintain healthy relationships

Facebook and Couples ~ browsing separately together

Relationships ~ The Serial Over-lapper

How to Get Revenge on a Cheating Husband

The Myth of the Golden Age of Marriage

8 Signs Someone is Jealous of Your Relationship

15 Signs His Friends Don't Like You

Cougars versus Dirty Old Men

8 Reasons Why Sex is Better After 50

5 Drama-Free Ways to Announce Your Engagement

Chronic Cheaters

Some Ex-cellent Ex-advice

Twin Flames ~ Understanding the Connection

23 (Very Down-to-Earth) Signs You've Met Your Soul Mate

Abandonment Issues ~ How it affects relationships

Dating After Divorce ~ Your Checklist of Do's & Don'ts

Your Ex ~ Signs They Are Over You

10 Signs Revealing His Ex is On His Mind

10 Ways to Tell He's Lying

Second Time Around ~ Should You Remarry Your Ex?

When Your Ex is Stalking You

Seven Ways to Introduce Your Boyfriend After 50

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Breakup

Do's and Don'ts ~ What You Shouldn't be Doing With Anyone But Your Partner

Text Message Cheating

When You Fall In Love With the Guy Whose Still In Love With His Ex

8 Signs Your New Partner is Not Over Their Ex

Dealing With a Jealous Ex-Spouse

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

My Ex-Wife and My New Wife Don't Get Along

Relationships ~ 4 Situations That May Be Considered Cheating

When He's Stuck in a Codependent Relationship with His Ex

The Naked Truth ~ Why Sex After 50 Is Still Hot

Advice for Those With Divorce Regret

Is Talking to Your Ex-Spouse Normal?

Celebrating Soul Mates ~ Signs You've Met Your Soul Mate

Signs He's Still in Love With His Ex

When Someone Responds to Your Boundaries With Anger

Seven Secrets to a Healthy Relationship Over 50

Divorce ~ Cut the Marital Cord Already!

Wedding Showers ~ Creating Sacred Space

Why Falling in Love Over 50 Kicks Ass

What If Your Spouse is Having an Emotional Affair?

Eight Signs You've Met Your Soul Mate

Eight Ways Lying is Poisonous to a Relationship

How To Break It Off With an Ex Who Won't Let Go...

Psychic Sensitivity ~ Sensitive Children

New blog post @ Magickal Connections...

https://wytchymystique.com/

Be sensitive to small children with night fears... When most insensitive or ignorant adults chastise them, telling them that there is nothing there, those adults don’t know how wrong they could be.

Daily Tarot Cards ~ Lots of Heavy Energy Today

I just pulled 5 cards at The Tarot Parlour's Facebook page.  Holy Buckets.  What's with all the Drama?

https://www.facebook.com/pg/readingswithamythystraine/posts/?ref=page_internal

Journaling Tips for Beginners

Getting started with journaling can be frustrating, especially if you don’t know what to write. But with so many benefits, it’s easy to understand why so many people want to make it a habit.

Writing down your personal thoughts and feelings isn’t something most people do on a regular basis. So sitting and staring down at a blank piece of paper trying to figure out how to start journaling can be somewhat intimidating. After about five minutes of looking at your journal, it’s tempting to just give up altogether and just chalk it up as something that’s not for you.

However, writer’s block does not have to plague you. With these approaches to journaling, it’ll no longer be overwhelming or laborious.

Here are 10 journaling tips for beginners:

1. Use a pen and paper

Though we recommend using a traditional diary or notebook, doing so can sometimes be a challenge. Having an app allows you to write down your thoughts almost anywhere. The downside is that your device can quickly become a distraction when notifications begin to go off.

Writing by hand gives you a break from the screen, allowing your mind to unplug, especially if your work requires you to use a computer or phone all day.

If you’re going to write by hand (like we suggest), make sure you get a good journal to write in.

[Notes by Amythyst:  For most of my professional writing experience, I've always chosen to hand write the first draft of a manuscript.  It's only with the last couple books that I've forgone this practice in lieu of Libra Office and my computer.  Journaling ALWAYS takes place by hand, with pen and paper, and preferably with an old-fashioned fountain pen... there's nothing like them, nothing writes this way, or feels this way, so connected to the paper and so grounded.  There's something about hand writing your thoughts that open up the pathways to creativity.  If you've never done it this way before, I suggest you try it.  Find a notebook and a fountain pen that speaks to you.]

2. Journal in the morning

Studies show that it is best to write first thing in the morning. It’s when your mind is most quiet and free from external influences. Do not pick up your phone to check social media. Instead, keep a journaling book and a pen next to your bed. Once you’re awake, reach for it and start writing. It does not matter how groggy you feel, just let the words flow. This is also a great practice for dream journaling as well.

Night owls might not agree with this. If morning is not the time for you, set a time in your day where you’re most productive and least likely to be interrupted. Do this the same time every day to make journaling a lasting habit.

[Notes by Amythyst:  I totally agree!  I've always done the bulk of my writing (both my personal journaling, as well as working on manuscripts) in the wee early hours of the morning, preferably with a good cup of hot coffee, a comfy bathrobe, and when weather permits, an outdoor table spot.  Your thoughts will flow while the birds do their early morning thing.  I love it!]

3. Write Every Day

Whichever time you pick, morning or evening, make sure you write in your journal daily, even when you don’t feel like it.

If you perceive that you have nothing to write about, write that sentence down. After a few lines of struggling to get your ideas out, the reason why you don’t want to write will soon reveal itself. It’s likely that you’re running away from something you don’t want or aren’t ready to face.

[Notes by Amythyst:  So true!  The well is never completely dry, not even when you think it is!]

4. Make time

Sometimes days get off to a busy start, and you’re unable to spare time to write. On these days, carry a journal with you so you can write your thoughts down when you have free time.  5-10 minutes of quiet and uninterrupted time is sufficient. You don’t have to write in prose; state main ideas in bullet points. If you need to, you can go and flesh these out later.

[Notes by Amythyst:  I have a couple thoughts to add here... 1.  "Not having time to write" ~ I have written diary entries and written books while consumed with the physical care and home-schooling of six children, a huge house to maintain, meals to prepare, and babies to breast feed.  The WRITER will WRITE, no matter how many obstacles are put in their path.  2.  I've always carried a notebook to jot down unexpected thoughts and ideas because it never fails that if you don't write them down, you will forget them!]

5. Try stream of consciousness journaling

Write about everything and nothing.  It is a non-judgmental flow of your thoughts; think of it as transcribing what is in your thoughts without any editing to have it make sense.

This session is known as a “stream of consciousness.” Don’t filter or censor your thoughts or feelings. Don’t mind the grammatical errors, just keep writing. After a few minutes, your mind will take on a more defined flow or theme that you can reflect on. This method is the rawest form journaling there is. It de-clutters your mind and shows you what the source of confusion, stress or pain is.

During this process, be patient. Most of all, don’t force yourself to think and write contrary to the “stream.”

[Notes by Amythyst:  This is an excellent idea, though I've carried this a step further on my occult metaphysical path by trying my hand at "Automatic Writing".  For those who've never heard this term before, it's kind of like turning your writing hand into a Ouija board planchette and allowing the spirits to take over.  The results can be astounding, eye-opening, and a little spooky.]

6. Write about the current space you’re in

Journal about what’s happening in your life. In detail, talk about your relationships, work, home, family, health, finances- anything that affects you. Then write down where you want to be and the steps you can take to get there.

This approach to goal setting will push you to do what’s required to transform yourself for the better. It also gives you a realistic picture of where you are. In that way, you’re given the opportunity to course-correct to meet your target.

[Notes by Amythyst:  I've kept a diary for years.  Each one of my children has a diary entry relating the events on the day of their birth.  When they inherit my diaries, they will also have well detailed imagery of our time at home, as well as special events, vacations, and mile stones. I have also kept dream journals, which are incredibly enlightening as to what's happening in your life and the effects at the time.]

7. Use journaling prompts

This is easily one of the best journaling tips for beginners.

Can’t get past the blank page? Journaling prompts like these will facilitate the frame of mind required when journaling. A journal prompt is just a question or topic that helps get your mind flowing. Since journaling from scratch is difficult for some people, prompts give you a starting point.

Reflect and answer each question as honestly as possible. This exercise is guaranteed to bring to the forefront of your mind the causes of most of your problems and what to do about them. Most of all, they help you shed off unwanted stress, anxiety and other burdens for a more carefree life.

[Notes by Amythyst:  I've posted several "journaling prompts" at The Writer's Corner Facebook Page.  Just bring up photos and you'll find the prompts.  You can also visit Pintrest, doing a search for writing prompts of all kinds.]

8. Talk to your inner child

Self-help books have popularized the concept of “the inner child.” It’s quite easy to shelf this under pop psychology, but this incorrect assumption may be costing you more than you think. The inner child is not literal, though it does exist. It refers to an unconscious part of your mind. Here is where you find the source of emotional, relational and behavioral difficulties that plague you in your adulthood.

To have a conversation with your inner child, ask your subconscious mind questions in the second person. This concept might seem strange, but remember, our conscious/awake part of the mind is just the tip of the iceberg. You know more than you think you do.

9. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude

Every time you journal, list all the things you’re grateful for in that moment. Doing this at the beginning frames the way in which your approach your problems. You’ll note a shift in your outlook on life. Positivity will become the norm, and not the exception.

Finding it hard to be thankful every day? This article highlights the physical, emotional, psychological, and behavioral benefits of being grateful. If you have a hard time remembering what to be thankful for, there are plenty of apps with reminders online you can download.

[Notes by Amythyst:  I have tried gratitude journaling for a brief time.  It just wasn't my cup of tea.  I get more out of regular journal entries.  I'm not sure why.  There are indeed things I'm grateful for, it just seemed contrived and artificial when I tried to record it in a gratitude journal.  You may feel differently about this.]

10. Keep it private

People new to journaling often wonder if they should keep it private, or share it with others. The short answer is, it’s up to you.  Some people suggest that you could show sections of your journal to trusted people. If you have to, read it out loud or summarize what was written.

Otherwise, don’t show it to anyone. Treat your journal as a sacred object.

[Notes by Amythyst:  There are a couple different ways of looking at this ~ 1.  Sometimes I've actually enjoyed sharing the memories and pages of my diary with family or a friend.  2.  Sometimes we write when we're in a very dark place, and this is what puts perspective on our life and the direction that we're going to take.  If you don't feel that your inner-most darkest thoughts are private, it might inhibit what you write.]

Journaling Writing for Beginners

When doing anything in life, having a personal and well-defined purpose.  Journaling will encourage you to stick to it. Do you want to journal to relieve stress and anxiety? Do you want to deal with childhood trauma? Whatever your reason, the results will be the same. You’ll be wiser, enlightened, kinder and all-around better version of yourself. Do not be surprised when others notice the change before you.

Hopefully these 10 journaling tips for beginners are just the motivation you needed to get started. Don’t procrastinate any longer. Get a journal and start writing!

Source:

https://mellowed.com/journaling-for-beginners/

Daily Tarot Cards ~ Update

I just pulled 5 tarot cards at The Tarot Parlour Facebook page. 
Do any of them resonate with you?

https://www.facebook.com/pg/readingswithamythystraine/posts/?ref=page_internal

The Tarot Parlour

For a personal reading,

follow these links:

Life Readings

Relationship Readings

Relationships ~ 4 Situations That May Be Considered Cheating

• Cheating is defined differently by different people.
• Boundaries and expectations should be set early in a relationship.
• Just because you haven't had sex with someone else doesn't mean you are being faithful.
• Emotional affairs, work spouses, deleting texts, and keeping in touch with exes can all be forms of infidelity.

For many people, the act of cheating is cut and dried... it is engaging in sexual contact of any kind with a person who is not your partner. But for others, being unfaithful can mean participating in any number of activities which your partner feels should be reserved exclusively for them.

In an interview with HuffPost, clinical psychologist Willard F. Harley Jr. explained that infidelity does terrible damage to your partner. Through surveys conducted by his company Marriage Builders, Harley said he has found that affairs are listed as being more painful than losing a young child, losing an arm, having your house burned down, and being physically abused.

Because the definition of cheating varies from person to person, clear boundaries need to be set at the beginning of a relationship, and both partners must agree to adhere to those relationship rules. Without setting boundaries and expectations, you or your partner might be unfaithful without realizing it. Here are some ways you might be cheating even if it doesn't feel like it.

• You're having an emotional affair.

One of the most common ways people cheat is by having an emotional affair. To put it simply, an emotional affair is an affair of the heart. According to a HuffPost interview with author and marriage therapist Sheri Meyers, PsyD, if there is sexual chemistry, flirtation, and you fantasize about taking it to the next level, it is emotional infidelity — even if you haven't actually had sex with someone else.

Emotional affairs can hurt as much, if not more than sexual infidelity. As Wendy Lustbader, MSW, explained in Psychology Today, "someone has stepped into emotional territory previously reserved for them, to which they used to have free and exclusive access. Now there are sections of this sphere that belong to someone else, that are off-limits to them and have become private." In other words, the intimate communication you should be reserving for your spouse or partner is being given to someone outside of your relationship.

Emotional infidelity has become more rampant in the age of social media. It isn't uncommon to hear of someone sending flirty texts or direct messages back and forth with an old flame or a co-worker, and having that lead to something more.

• You have a "work spouse."

A work spouse relationship refers to two platonic colleagues who share a bond similar to that of a marriage. They turn to each other for advice, take breaks together, eat lunch together, and discuss their personal lives. Although office friendships are important, with work spouses, you quickly settle into a comfort level reminiscent to that of your real spouse. The lines between a professional and personal relationship can become blurred, and may lead to more intimate (and inappropriate) interactions.

Jacqueline Olds, MD, a psychoanalyst and associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, warned that a greater danger lies when you form this kind of bond with a person of the gender to which you are sexually attracted. She told the HuffPost, "two good friends who don't think they would be attracted can accidentally fall into infatuation. It happens quite often at work."

In fact, an Office Pulse study found 7% of office professionals have definitely crossed the line with their work spouse and up to 20% of them may have done something that could be considered inappropriate. If you're doing something that you wouldn't like your own spouse or partner doing in a similar situation, you are probably crossing the line.

Nikki Martinez, an Illinois-based psychologist told the Chicago Tribune that even if nothing suspicious is going on, it's normal for the real spouse to feel jealous of a work spouse. This can create big problems in your marriage, especially if you hang out with or text your work spouse after hours when you should be focusing on your partner. 

• You delete your texts, emails, and direct messages.

If you feel the need to delete your texts, emails, or social media DMs before your significant other comes across them, it's a sign that your correspondence is not exactly platonic. You may justify deleting texts by telling yourself that your partner will misinterpret or overreact, but this only serves to prove that you are intentionally engaging in an activity that goes against your partner's wishes.

Zack Carter PhD, a professor of communication at Taylor University, said he feels that digital communication can be a gateway to infidelity, which may be why you are inclined to erase the messages.

Carter explains in Psychology Today, "text messaging provides an opportunity for wandering hearts, hearts not fully committed to their spouses or partners, to seek pleasure from someone other than their spouses or partners when their relationship grass may be losing its color. More alarmingly though, text messaging provides an opportunity for even hearts most devoted to their relationships, to inadvertently seek pleasure from someone other than their spouse or partner."

• You secretly keep in touch with an ex.

When you start dating someone new, it is important to learn their feelings on maintaining contact with exes. If you share a child with an ex, communication is not only inevitable, but essential in successful co-parenting. However, if you have no ties to your ex other than a failed relationship, you should get your new partner's blessing before keeping in touch. Doing so in secret could be a sign that there is more going on than just catching up.

In Psychology Today, Gwendolyn Seidman PhD, an associate professor of psychology and chair of the psychology department at Albright College noted a 2016 study that found that people are more likely to communicate with exes they still have feelings for. Additionally, researchers found a link between keeping in touch with exes and how happy you are in your current relationship. The more often you communicate with an ex, the less satisfied you may be with your current relationship.

Source:

https://www.insider.com/subtle-signs-youre-cheating-2018-5

Daily Tarot Cards ~ SO INTENSE!

The 4 cards that I pulled today for the FB tarot page were SO INTENSE!! Before I pulled each card today, I asked my Spirit Guides to show me something I needed to know, to guide me to say what needed to be said, to guide me to the people who needed to hear these messages. I hope you got it.

https://www.facebook.com/pg/readingswithamythystraine/posts/?ref=page_internal